1) Aye-talians seriously need to get a life and stop worrying about how bad their sh|tty fvcking soccer team is doing. MAN! You're in fvcking Brampton. Stop wearing Parasuco shirts that wouldn't even fit on my (younger) sister and, for God's sake, start cheering for a better fvcking soccer team. COME ON! If Greece made it to the quarter-finals then the Aye-talians should at least be there. What? They've been eliminated? Oh! Boo-hoo-hoo. Maybe this year they didn't eat enough spaghetti and garlic bread. Contact me in person if you're interested in what else I have to say about (Aye-talian) soccer fans.
2) Apparently it's a bad thing to ask a buddy's girlfriend to dance. Apparently it's even worse when they haven't actually been out on a date yet. What do I say about this? I say that if you're date is going badly enough where your girl is MORE THAN HAPPY TO DANCE WITH ME (ME!, of all people), then you need to learn how to entertain your date a little bit more. And don't talk sh|t to me. Because all it is, is a fvcking dance. I'm not looking to fvck your girlfriend who probably has more cottage cheese where the sun don't shine than an entire row of Phillidelphia products at the supermarket. If you're that insecure that you think she'll leave you or be embarrassed by you after one dance with me then you seriously need to get a NordicTrak and start working out or something. Whatever it takes you to build up your confidence.
HONESTLY MOTHERFVCKER... I'M THE LAST MAN ANY WOMAN IS GOING TO WALK OUT OF THE BAR "WITH". DANCING IS FUN, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T DANCE. IF YOU THINK I, OF ALL PEOPLE, AM GOING TO STEAL YOUR, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD, WOMAN, THEN START TAKING ANTI-DEPRESSANTS BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE THAN ME DANCING WITH YOUR GIRL TO WORRY ABOUT.
It's 8:30AM and I think I may be still drunk. My head is pounding and I'm severely dehydrated. BUT! The cougars loved my "Friends In Low Places" and "The Gambler" performances last night.
WHY WOULD I TRY TO STEAL YOUR GIRL IF I'VE GOT A TABLE FULL OF COUGARS WAITING FOR ME?!?
Aye-talians and people think that I (of all people, ME, HA!) am going to steal their girlfriend simply because I asked her to dance SERIOUSLY need to get a life. Oh, and whop, stop wearing Parasuco shirts that are too small to fit on my sister. That is my rant for now. More to come later.
/edit - It was 8:30AM when I wrote this. I spent the last hour-and-a-half trying to find which swear word was preventing me from posting. Turned out it was the word sh|t in the second or third paragraph.
/edit - Fixed the grammatical errors to make it easier to read.
2) Apparently it's a bad thing to ask a buddy's girlfriend to dance. Apparently it's even worse when they haven't actually been out on a date yet. What do I say about this? I say that if you're date is going badly enough where your girl is MORE THAN HAPPY TO DANCE WITH ME (ME!, of all people), then you need to learn how to entertain your date a little bit more. And don't talk sh|t to me. Because all it is, is a fvcking dance. I'm not looking to fvck your girlfriend who probably has more cottage cheese where the sun don't shine than an entire row of Phillidelphia products at the supermarket. If you're that insecure that you think she'll leave you or be embarrassed by you after one dance with me then you seriously need to get a NordicTrak and start working out or something. Whatever it takes you to build up your confidence.
HONESTLY MOTHERFVCKER... I'M THE LAST MAN ANY WOMAN IS GOING TO WALK OUT OF THE BAR "WITH". DANCING IS FUN, EVEN IF YOU CAN'T DANCE. IF YOU THINK I, OF ALL PEOPLE, AM GOING TO STEAL YOUR, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD, WOMAN, THEN START TAKING ANTI-DEPRESSANTS BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE THAN ME DANCING WITH YOUR GIRL TO WORRY ABOUT.
It's 8:30AM and I think I may be still drunk. My head is pounding and I'm severely dehydrated. BUT! The cougars loved my "Friends In Low Places" and "The Gambler" performances last night.
WHY WOULD I TRY TO STEAL YOUR GIRL IF I'VE GOT A TABLE FULL OF COUGARS WAITING FOR ME?!?
Aye-talians and people think that I (of all people, ME, HA!) am going to steal their girlfriend simply because I asked her to dance SERIOUSLY need to get a life. Oh, and whop, stop wearing Parasuco shirts that are too small to fit on my sister. That is my rant for now. More to come later.
/edit - It was 8:30AM when I wrote this. I spent the last hour-and-a-half trying to find which swear word was preventing me from posting. Turned out it was the word sh|t in the second or third paragraph.
/edit - Fixed the grammatical errors to make it easier to read.
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