1. So your daughter's a hooker,
> > > and it spoiled your day.
> > > Look at the bright side,
> > > it's really good pay.
> > >
> > > 2. My tire was thumping.
> > > I thought it was flat.
> > > When I looked at the tire...
> > > I noticed your cat.
> > > Sorry!
> > >
> > > 3. Heard your wife left you,
> > > How upset you must be.
> > > But don't fret about it...
> > > She moved in with me.
> > >
> > > 4. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
> > > I can't help but wonder?
> > > What the hell was I thinking?
> > >
> > > 5. Congratulations on your wedding day!
> > > Too bad no one likes your husband.
> > >
> > > 6. How could two people as beautiful as you...
> > > Have such an ugly baby?
> > >
> > > 7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
> > > someone to love. After having met you ...
> > > I've changed my mind.
> > >
> > > 8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...
> > > I never believed in Hell till I met you.
> > >
> > > 9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
> > > That you're not here to ruin it for me.
> * good for ex-spouses
> > >
> > > 10. Congratulations on your promotion.
> > > Before you go ... would you like to take this knife
> > > out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
> > >
> > > 11. Someday I hope to get married.
> > > But not to you.
> > >
> > > 12. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...
> > > Almost Lifelike!
> > >
> > > 13. When we were together,
> > > you always said you'd die for me.
> > > Now that we've broken up,
> > > I think it's time you kept your promise.
> > >
> > > 14. We have been friends for a very long time...
> > > what say we stop?
> > >
> > > 15. I'm so miserable without you ...
> > > it's almost like you're here.
> > >
> > > 16. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
> > > Did you ever find out who the father was?
> > >
> > > 17. Your friends and I wanted to do something
> > > special for your birthday.
> > > So we're having you put to sleep.
> > >
> > > 18. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
> > > (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas and
> > > West Virginia)
Jokersmoker
> > > and it spoiled your day.
> > > Look at the bright side,
> > > it's really good pay.
> > >
> > > 2. My tire was thumping.
> > > I thought it was flat.
> > > When I looked at the tire...
> > > I noticed your cat.
> > > Sorry!
> > >
> > > 3. Heard your wife left you,
> > > How upset you must be.
> > > But don't fret about it...
> > > She moved in with me.
> > >
> > > 4. Looking back over the years that we've been together,
> > > I can't help but wonder?
> > > What the hell was I thinking?
> > >
> > > 5. Congratulations on your wedding day!
> > > Too bad no one likes your husband.
> > >
> > > 6. How could two people as beautiful as you...
> > > Have such an ugly baby?
> > >
> > > 7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
> > > someone to love. After having met you ...
> > > I've changed my mind.
> > >
> > > 8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...
> > > I never believed in Hell till I met you.
> > >
> > > 9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
> > > That you're not here to ruin it for me.
> * good for ex-spouses
> > >
> > > 10. Congratulations on your promotion.
> > > Before you go ... would you like to take this knife
> > > out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
> > >
> > > 11. Someday I hope to get married.
> > > But not to you.
> > >
> > > 12. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...
> > > Almost Lifelike!
> > >
> > > 13. When we were together,
> > > you always said you'd die for me.
> > > Now that we've broken up,
> > > I think it's time you kept your promise.
> > >
> > > 14. We have been friends for a very long time...
> > > what say we stop?
> > >
> > > 15. I'm so miserable without you ...
> > > it's almost like you're here.
> > >
> > > 16. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
> > > Did you ever find out who the father was?
> > >
> > > 17. Your friends and I wanted to do something
> > > special for your birthday.
> > > So we're having you put to sleep.
> > >
> > > 18. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
> > > (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas and
> > > West Virginia)
Jokersmoker
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