What do you guys think of this love poem?

[BaboonGuy]

I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

 

[SherEPunjab]

i didn't read it.

but... it sucks anyway. sorry.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: BaboonGuy
I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

tell me you are not serious?

dude, where's your brain?

that poem is the reason you have not been kissed!
i am sorry to be so blunt, but i would laugh if a guy left that in my mailbox.
you can write something better, cantcha?

 

[StageLeft]

It's risque, but I think it will work.

 

[Xionide]

Originally posted by: BaboonGuy
I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

Well if your into s&m and want her to come to your house and beat the living fvck out of you that would work nicely.

-Xionide

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
It's risque, but I think it will work.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Skoorb
It's risque, but I think it will work.

Is that how he reeled you in?

 

[Spoooon]

Oh man, so touching.

Instead of being discrete and using the word "touch," you should consider being bold and spell it all out for her.

 

[touchmyichi]

Dude, any girl would totally go for that. I think you should definently put it in her mailbox, she'll really like it.

 

[conjur]

I think you should submit it to poetry.com

You might get it accepted for publication and, heck, might even be eligible for their silver trophy award!

 

[thirtythree]

Originally posted by: conjur
I think you should submit it to poetry.com

You might get it accepted for publication and, heck, might even be eligible for their silver trophy award!

I'd say he's a shoe-in

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: Deslocke

Originally posted by: conjur
I think you should submit it to poetry.com

You might get it accepted for publication and, heck, might even be eligible for their silver trophy award!

I'd say he's a shoe-in

Mine's still on there... LOL!!



Chow Line

Here I stand.
While it sits there.
On the table.
Bright and tasty.
Wanting to jump
into my stomach.

I'll take some home
in my pocket

 

[SuperSix]

You'll be touching yourself for awhile - you will get no ass with that "poem".

 

[ThisIsMatt]

Restraining order, anyone?

 

[tk149]

LOL

You're going to be really shocked when she tells you that she does the same thing when she thinks about you!

 

[VirginiaDonkey]

My wife read it and said " awwww....he's so gentle and caring"

I read it and it made me touch myself

 

[obiwaynekenobi]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: BaboonGuy
I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

tell me you are not serious?

dude, where's your brain?

that poem is the reason you have not been kissed!
i am sorry to be so blunt, but i would laugh if a guy left that in my mailbox.
you can write something better, cantcha?

If I was a chick I'd probably file for sexual harassment.

 

[robh23]

hang it on a string round your bell and put the lot dangling through her letter box, then knock on her door, it will work - trust me

 

[Azraele]

Ummm no....I hope you're not serious. That's likely to scare and disgust her.

 

[Geekbabe]

Abandon hope all yee who enter this thread,lol!

 

[Spamela]

Originally posted by: BaboonGuy
I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

i think you should try it out first with a woman you can trust, like your mom.
tell us what she thinks of it, ok?

 

[tk149]

Originally posted by: Spamela

Originally posted by: BaboonGuy
I'm not too good with girls, I honestly haven't kissed a girl in 22 years, and that was in elementary school .
Anyway, there's this girl in my apartment building that I really like. Only really made smalltalk with her, but I'm going to leave a note in her mailbox with this love poem. Hopefully it'll work, she is amazingly beautiful.

Okay here goes:

i touch myself at school...
i touch myself at work...
i touch myself at family functions...
everytime, thinking of you

i think you should try it out first with a woman you can trust, like your mom.
tell us what she thinks of it, ok?

:Q:Q:Q

 

[ThePresence]

God help us if this isn't a joke.

 

[Amorphus]

Originally posted by: ThePresence
God help us if this isn't a joke.

US?! He's the loser!