What do you do to find meaning in life?

[Willoughbyva]

Well I have been feeling down off and on for the past few months. I was wondering what you do to find meaningful in life? I work graveyards and have different days off all the time. So it isn't like I can meet people and do stuff with them. I feel alone a lot lately. Both my parents passed away over the past 2 years and it leaves me alone. I am also 35 years old and most people are settled at this age. I don't have a significant other or kids, so I don't have anyone to share my life with. Can you offer any advice?


Perry

 

[ThePresence]

I remember feeling the same way you did. I made a complete career change, got myself out of the depressing, pressure-packed corporate enviroment and out into the real world. Best thing I ever did.

 

[suicidalpigeon]

find a more social job.

 

[Willoughbyva]

The Presence what do you do for a living now?


I don't know, but sometimes I feel turned off by people. I am not sure that being around more people is the answer, but maybe it is. Some of the best jobs I have worked are the ones where I came into contact with people a lot. I'll have to think about it more. Thanks for the advice.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Um, this is really a serious question I would like to get some answers to. I hope some people will be kind enough to respond. Thank you to those of you who have already responded.


Perry

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
The Presence what do you do for a living now?

I was a property manager (managed apartment buildings) for more than a year. I recently left that job and was offered to be a regional manager for another property managment firm, which I am currently considering. I still do graphic design in the evenings.

I don't know, but sometimes I feel turned off by people. I am not sure that being around more people is the answer, but maybe it is. Some of the best jobs I have worked are the ones where I came into contact with people a lot. I'll have to think about it more. Thanks for the advice.

NP and good luck.

 

[Willoughbyva]

ThePresence that seems like that would be a pretty good job to have. Good luck on what you decide to do.

 

[meltdown75]

Sorry to hear you lost both of your parents in that short span of time. I can't imagine what that would be like.

well, to answer your question I find a lot of things meaningful in life, but I'm not going to get into that... just wanted to say hang in there, if you ever need to PM someone my box always has some room. i'd advise you to maintain contact with other relatives or friends in the meantime! best of luck Perry.

 

[TimMyMac]

Watch the movie?!

 

[gooseman]

Have you worked 3rd shift for a long time? My advice would be to get a different job, a regular 9-5 monday through friday. I think it would give you a whole new outlook on life.

 

[laurenlex]

The meaning of life: the love of another person. have kids. watch them grow

Getting it is harder. Be yourself, but find a way to meet people like you. You will get nowhere pretending to be who you are not.

To me, a job is not who you are, says nothing about you other than a way to pay bills. If your job sucks, or is killing your social life, ditch it. People obsessed with money, status and wealth will usually shlt on you.

Other people are the meaning of life. Friends, lovers, children, relatives. Find some. Meet some. Do something. Take risks.

This has been rambling, but take charge. Say fvck it, you can make happiness. YOu might have to rearrange a bunch of stuff, but you can do it.

Neffing on this forum is not a good idea, but I'm married and everybody is asleep.

 

[Willoughbyva]

I have worked 3rd shift for about 3 months and I like the job ok. The place next door where I work was robbed the other night so that makes me feel a little afraid. I too think that a regular job would be good. I think I might try to find one in the near future. There are few opertunities around this area though. I don't know I just wish my life felt more complete. I know I am not going to turn to drugs or alcohol. I just want to help myself. Thanks for all your kind replies. Fell free to post in this thread if you have something to contribute.


Perry

 

[Willoughbyva]

laurenlex Thank you for your response. I think I do need a social support network. I was emailing my friend the other day saying how I wish i had people that i couldrely on for support. I have cut down on my posting. I post here at work because there is little else to do.

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I hope more will reply.


Perry

 

[aidanjm]

I think meaning in life probably mostly comes from relationships with people, and maybe doing something that gives meaning (whether a job, or hobby, or volunteer work, or whatever). I am having a similar crisis, with lack of meaning in my life right now.

 

[Willoughbyva]

aidanjm I hope you will be ok. I hope we both find something that will make us feel better about ourselves and what we do in life. I hope the best for you.

Perry

 

[vshah]

open wide and i'll show you the meaning of life

 

[Willoughbyva]

Originally posted by: vshah
open wide and i'll show you the meaning of life

I feel so inspired by your post. You must be a wealth of knowledge and wisdom.

;sarcasem;

 

[eflat]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Well I have been feeling down off and on for the past few months. I was wondering what you do to find meaningful in life? I work graveyards and have different days off all the time. So it isn't like I can meet people and do stuff with them. I feel alone a lot lately. Both my parents passed away over the past 2 years and it leaves me alone. I am also 35 years old and most people are settled at this age. I don't have a significant other or kids, so I don't have anyone to share my life with. Can you offer any advice?


Perry

Not really, since I do not know you

I can tell you what you told me -- that you are lonely.

I can assure you there are a lot of other lonely 35 year old men and women out there. I know a lot of them.

I can tell you that if you are not interacting with anyone you are not ever going to meet anyone. So it would make sense to get a job that will put you in a more social setting. Or to go do something after work that will put you around others. Volunteer. Eat out. Whatever -- just do not be alone all the time.

It will take a while, but as long as you stay out there and keep trying eventually either you will find someone to reach out to or someone will reach out to you.

Remember how lucky you are to live in this country and be alive and not be hungry and have a roof over your head -- most of the world does not have that.

Find someone worse off than yourself and help them out - they probably just need a friend like you do -- and you will both be happier for it.

 

[Willoughbyva]

CitizenDug that is a lot of great advice. I think on a daily basis how fortunate I am. I could be a lot worse off. However I do get down at times. I eat out when I can and even go to the local country store to talk to the person behind the counter. I will try to find a more social setting to work in. Maybe retail or something.

Thanks

Perry

 

[Adica]

Perry, My heart goes out to you, I have been there too. I have learned that happiness comes from 4 major things.

1. Feeling needed.
2. A sense of accomplishment.
3. Knowing how to love, accept, and forgive.
4. Having confidence and self-esteem.

How you can and will achieve those things varies from person to person, but consider it a challenge and strive for the best. Good Luck.

 

[Willoughbyva]

Adica Thank you for your kind reply.


Perry

 

[dugweb]

Originally posted by: Adica
Perry, My heart goes out to you, I have been there too. I have learned that happiness comes from 4 major things.

1. Feeling needed.
2. A sense of accomplishment.
3. Knowing how to love, accept, and forgive.
4. Having confidence and self-esteem.

How you can and will achieve those things varies from person to person, but consider it a challenge and strive for the best. Good Luck.

that's good advice, and it comes in pretty much that order as well...

a sure fire way to start the process is to volunteer somewhere, provide service for people, get involved in the community. I don't know if you're a religious man, but regardless, a church gives people those types of opportunities... service.

when you serve you will learn to love the people you serve, you'll feel like you've made the world a better place... and your confidence in yourself will skyrocket! If you focus on finding a SO, that could bring yourself down further, so you need a surfire way to bring you up.

analyze the negative influences in your life... what makes you feel down? Do you get drunk excessively, do you surf porn excessively, are you alone all the time, are you out of shape? Once you identify the negatives, then you know what to work on. (I threw porn in there because really that can bring you down, same with being outta shape, it's amazing what a evening jog or walk will do for the soul)

 

[eflat]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
CitizenDug that is a lot of great advice. I think on a daily basis how fortunate I am. I could be a lot worse off. However I do get down at times. I eat out when I can and even go to the local country store to talk to the person behind the counter. I will try to find a more social setting to work in. Maybe retail or something.

Thanks

Perry

No problem. Being inherently depressed myself I know what it is like not to find meaning in ones life. Yet if you have not found meaning in your life at least you will always have something to do to keep yourself busy -- that is to say, the endless and probably futile search for meaning in your life.

I myself am not ever counting on finding any - but I figure as long as I am good for another fifty years I may as well keep trying. You never know unless you try.

I was so depressed not such a long time ago I barely got out of bed for a year and a half and came close to killing myself more than once.

Yet if you met me on the street today, you would never know. I'm unusually good looking, talented and charasmatic, make friends no matter how hard I try to piss people off and manage to put on one hell of a cheerful act -- but really i am lonely, will never be understood and am an outsider in this world of yours.

My point is, you have a lot more company than you realize. Just keep plowing on and eventually you will bump into something that interests you. Sit around, give up -- and you will never bump into anything.

And one last thing -- don't let assholes get you down. Seriously. You are in a vulnerable position and it's all too easy to let people take advantage of you. I did (let assholes take advantage of me) for years, and you are too good for that. Keep your head high and keep fighting.

Nobody but you knows what you are capable of -- and you will fully know until you try.

 

[DainBramaged]

Drink by myself.

 

[edro]

Originally posted by: Adica

2. A sense of accomplishment.
4. Having confidence and self-esteem.

Those are 2 big ones that I have personally experienced. A great way to build confidence and a sense of accomplishment, is physical fitness.

Get on a good diet, go to the gym regularly, and within a few months, you will be feeling a lot better.

I have found that the things in life that really make me happy, are not things at all (that's so cliche ), but they are feelings and knowledge or understanding.

Here is a decent Einstein quote that I try to live by:

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day.

Also, try to find happiness in things that do not require money (or very little of it). The most happy people in the world, are usually the most humble and simplistic.