Alas, so do I. I tried every method I could think of to settle this peacably, fairly, inexpensively, and that would not put the kids through a hard time. But she wants 100%... I can not go with that. They are my kids as well and I think it would be very healthy for them to be around the both of us. But she does not want that, she wants them all the time. My only guess is for the free money the state would have been sending her. I have never abused them or neglected them their needs.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
- 0
- 56
hey. take care of your kids when you get them. this entire ordeal will be extremely difficult on them.
best of luck and i hope your kids are fine through all of this.
best of luck and i hope your kids are fine through all of this.
Originally posted by: SinfulWeeper
If by hitting her you mean a slap... I am guilty
If by hitting her you mean beating her and punching her, I have never done such a thing.
Why did you slap her?
yeah wtf is up wit dat. who do the kids want to be with?
what age are they, are they old enough to make their own decision? cuz it would seem hard for her to keep your kids with her in a salvation army against their will
She slept with my friend and my brother.
Needless to say he is no longer my friend and my brother was the one who ended up with all the bruises.
She was at my 'friends' house when I slapped her, then I left. He encouraged her to call the police and she did. I was charged with DV, and the judge urged the DA to dismiss the case. But with the state crunching down on DA's not to dismiss or lower charges of DV, he was not game. He pursued it, and got a no contest plea outta me. The judge gave me the minimum sentence, time spent in jail (a few hours) and 6 months probation with no other domestic crime conditions. It's a good thing he never got word of my brother.
Anyway I completed the probation w/o a hitch.
And no, the kids are 3 and four. Nearly 2 years apart, just by 2 months. They should not even be in a place like that when there is a home for them. All she has to do is break one rule there and she could be homeless. The state is aware of high kick-out rates of the Salvation Army and since she'll have no other proper residence should she be kicked out. They are so backed up with people needing in (more so in a Alaskan winter) that they do not tolerate people breaking their rules. OCS, being aware of how many people that they have to take into emergency custody from families breaking their rules (S.A's) that if there is a more permanent solution they seek it. Being there is a open case of incompetence against her, the state is not willing to wait and find out if she breaks one of their rules. They feel the kids should be out of there now in a stable home.
Was I a good father to them? I think so as do many other people. Being a good father does not mean a good husband though. If I were good at that, none of us would be in this situation.
Am I employed and making enough money to support the children in a real home? Yes
Is she a good mother? Yes and No. While she does not lack in the loving part of being a mother. She severely lacks in the personal ability of being a mother that can provide in times of their need.
Is she employed? No she is not employed. And while here she made it clear until the kids are in their teens, she has no intensions of getting a full time job, and will not work for two years if she has any more newborns. She also told me she wants at least 6 more kids before she is 36. Basically your typical welfare case for milking the state with assistance and fathers for child support so she gets a free ride.
I do not approve and how is she going to handle more if she cant take proper care of them now?
Needless to say he is no longer my friend and my brother was the one who ended up with all the bruises.
She was at my 'friends' house when I slapped her, then I left. He encouraged her to call the police and she did. I was charged with DV, and the judge urged the DA to dismiss the case. But with the state crunching down on DA's not to dismiss or lower charges of DV, he was not game. He pursued it, and got a no contest plea outta me. The judge gave me the minimum sentence, time spent in jail (a few hours) and 6 months probation with no other domestic crime conditions. It's a good thing he never got word of my brother.
Anyway I completed the probation w/o a hitch.
And no, the kids are 3 and four. Nearly 2 years apart, just by 2 months. They should not even be in a place like that when there is a home for them. All she has to do is break one rule there and she could be homeless. The state is aware of high kick-out rates of the Salvation Army and since she'll have no other proper residence should she be kicked out. They are so backed up with people needing in (more so in a Alaskan winter) that they do not tolerate people breaking their rules. OCS, being aware of how many people that they have to take into emergency custody from families breaking their rules (S.A's) that if there is a more permanent solution they seek it. Being there is a open case of incompetence against her, the state is not willing to wait and find out if she breaks one of their rules. They feel the kids should be out of there now in a stable home.
Was I a good father to them? I think so as do many other people. Being a good father does not mean a good husband though. If I were good at that, none of us would be in this situation.
Am I employed and making enough money to support the children in a real home? Yes
Is she a good mother? Yes and No. While she does not lack in the loving part of being a mother. She severely lacks in the personal ability of being a mother that can provide in times of their need.
Is she employed? No she is not employed. And while here she made it clear until the kids are in their teens, she has no intensions of getting a full time job, and will not work for two years if she has any more newborns. She also told me she wants at least 6 more kids before she is 36. Basically your typical welfare case for milking the state with assistance and fathers for child support so she gets a free ride.
I do not approve and how is she going to handle more if she cant take proper care of them now?
Nitemare
Lifer
- Feb 8, 2001
- 35,461
- 4
- 81
Originally posted by: Mill
Originally posted by: SinfulWeeper
If by hitting her you mean a slap... I am guilty
If by hitting her you mean beating her and punching her, I have never done such a thing.
Why did you slap her?
She was slow getting him beer and smokes?
<Chris Rock>"I'd never hit a woman, but I'd shake the sh!t out of one"
Might want to call around at the Salvation Army's to see which one she is at.
Zebo
Elite Member
- Jul 29, 2001
- 39,398
- 19
- 81
You are wasting your time here talking about this. Call a lawyer, take out a second mortgage, whatever it takes but the laypersons and even attoneys here can't help you w/o all the facts surrounding your case and rules of the court/state in which you live
No need to, I called her mother-in-law pretending to be my wife's friend. Since we never met she did not know my voice. I got her address and phone number about 3 hours ago.
And no, my wife's mother-in-law made it very clear to me that she is not welcome to stay there, but can go there for basic need things such as a private meal if she provides and other smaller things. All I asked was why was she staying there (S.A.) and not with her... well a whole slew of things I dont care to type came out along with street and phone number info. But damn if finding her number was hard (wife's mother-in-law). I almost gave up till I found my wofes very old address book in my desk. (Why is it the hardest things in life to find are always so close?)
And no, my wife's mother-in-law made it very clear to me that she is not welcome to stay there, but can go there for basic need things such as a private meal if she provides and other smaller things. All I asked was why was she staying there (S.A.) and not with her... well a whole slew of things I dont care to type came out along with street and phone number info. But damn if finding her number was hard (wife's mother-in-law). I almost gave up till I found my wofes very old address book in my desk. (Why is it the hardest things in life to find are always so close?)
Still saving for the attorney. My guess is since I will have the kids and not be paying child support, I will afford one late this month to mid January.
They free public lawyers take roughly 2 months to process, so I am ahead of her. But your right, my wife's and I affairs are getting a little old. After all I did ditch her (not visa versa) to get over her. I just had no idea she would end up doing the things she did. I am glad I am getting my kids back and they will be in a much more stable enviroment. Thats all that really matters. If she wants to come back to town, she can visit the kids all she wants, but she can not stay with me this time around.
Zebo
Elite Member
- Jul 29, 2001
- 39,398
- 19
- 81
So your dad will pay for planetickets for her and children but won't front a few thousand for a lawyer? As far as your guess from what I've read it could go not as you suspect considering pervious actions (DV)and all states willingness to side with the mother. But I'm just guessing too. Call a good lawyer and find the money even if you have to liquify all assets.
No way I would ever bank on a public defender.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
- Oct 11, 1999
- 25,195
- 0
- 56
- Jan 2, 2001
- 25,333
- 4,997
- 136
I called her mother-in-law pretending to be my wife's friend. Since we never met she did not know my voice. And no, my wife's mother-in-law made it very clear to me that she is not welcome to stay there, but can go there for basic need things such as a private meal if she provides and other smaller things.
I'm so confused. Isn't your wife's mother-in-law your mother?
I'm so confused. Isn't your wife's mother-in-law your mother?
Wow, this whole thing sounds fvcked up. She was sleeping with your brother and friend, you slapped her, etc.
Wow.
Wow.
I hope you and your brother arestill talking.
Hopefully you find out which SA they are staying at. Also, and I am sure the cops will do this, make sure the SA director knows that you have an order to take custody of the kids.
Hopefully you find out which SA they are staying at. Also, and I am sure the cops will do this, make sure the SA director knows that you have an order to take custody of the kids.
I have custody of my daughter. My ex-wife has a new husband and a decent job. She did a lot of neglecting/dumb/unsafe/etc. things that I documented while she had custody and waited for the right time to take her to court. This is an exact quote from the judge on our first court appearance: "Mrs. XXXXX I would hope that if so many as a few of these allegations submitted to the court are true that you will not pursue the contesting of this custody hearing and waste this court's valuable time." ------can you say OWN'D??
Be smart. Think EVERYTHING through before you act and I'm not just talking about with the divorce and custody, these are the rules of life.
Be smart. Think EVERYTHING through before you act and I'm not just talking about with the divorce and custody, these are the rules of life.
fvck
I have to get to to Washington ASAP with money :| That slapping thing did result in a DV case and even though the I basically got no punishment... I just seen this when I was looking in the self help section of Alaska law. Look @ the box that says "READ THIS IF YOU HAVE KIDS!"
http://www.state.ak.us/courts/selfhelp.htm
All I did was slap her... and I can not get custody or visitaion because of that? Fvck that, after I get the kids, I am going to Washington and I am going to file for a divorce there and make sure she gets the summons first :|
What a waste of money on a stupid @ss law. It should be re-written for excessive use of force in a DV case... just a slap and I can not get custody or visitation. What a croak of chit. :|:|:|
I have to get to to Washington ASAP with money :| That slapping thing did result in a DV case and even though the I basically got no punishment... I just seen this when I was looking in the self help section of Alaska law. Look @ the box that says "READ THIS IF YOU HAVE KIDS!"
http://www.state.ak.us/courts/selfhelp.htm
All I did was slap her... and I can not get custody or visitaion because of that? Fvck that, after I get the kids, I am going to Washington and I am going to file for a divorce there and make sure she gets the summons first :|
What a waste of money on a stupid @ss law. It should be re-written for excessive use of force in a DV case... just a slap and I can not get custody or visitation. What a croak of chit. :|:|:|
I am gunna ask tommorrow @ work before I leave if I can get a transfer to one of our Washington stores if I can provide my own fair. If appoved, I do have enough money for one way tickets with the kids and my sister is in Washington and said she is willing to help me out babysitting while I am at work.
Damn I just can not get over that... WTF kind of law is that?
Damn I just can not get over that... WTF kind of law is that?
Zebo
Elite Member
- Jul 29, 2001
- 39,398
- 19
- 81
You need to read more carfully:
"The law says a "history of domestic violence" is when:
one parent has caused serious physical injury to one of the people listed above
OR
one parent engaged in more than one incident of domestic violence against one of the people listed above "
A slap is niether, hold your horses and talk to a lawyer again.
"The law says a "history of domestic violence" is when:
one parent has caused serious physical injury to one of the people listed above
OR
one parent engaged in more than one incident of domestic violence against one of the people listed above "
A slap is niether, hold your horses and talk to a lawyer again.
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