Out of sheer boredom, I'm curious. Even a bunch of guys like us have to have at least a few good gutbusters. Me, most of my favorites are political jokes dating back to the Clinton years...
-What does it say on Monica Lewinsky's resume?
"Spent 18 months on the President's staff."
-Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich and Billy Graham were on the bridge of the Titanic just after it hit the iceberg. Billy Graham exclaimed, "Save the Women; women first!" Newt yelled, "Screw the women!" To which Bill Clinton replied, "Do we have time?"
-After a busy day of campaigning, public appearances and fundraising, Hillary Clinton had no time to get a costume ready for Halloween - so she grabbed a broom and decided to be herself.
-Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.
-The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a gang of whores than let liquor touch these lips!" The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."
Of course, I do enjoy a good Blonde joke almost as much as a Clinton joke:
-Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
-A policeman pulls over a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street for miles on end.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, officer, but wherever it is it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
-A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.
She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."
The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
Post a few quips of your own if you have them!
-What does it say on Monica Lewinsky's resume?
"Spent 18 months on the President's staff."
-Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich and Billy Graham were on the bridge of the Titanic just after it hit the iceberg. Billy Graham exclaimed, "Save the Women; women first!" Newt yelled, "Screw the women!" To which Bill Clinton replied, "Do we have time?"
-After a busy day of campaigning, public appearances and fundraising, Hillary Clinton had no time to get a costume ready for Halloween - so she grabbed a broom and decided to be herself.
-Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.
-The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a gang of whores than let liquor touch these lips!" The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."
Of course, I do enjoy a good Blonde joke almost as much as a Clinton joke:
-Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
-A policeman pulls over a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street for miles on end.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, officer, but wherever it is it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
-A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.
She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."
The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
Post a few quips of your own if you have them!
