What are some stupid things you have said while under the influence?

[quackerww]

What are some stupid things you have said while under the influence of alcohol?

While in the mist of an alcoholic urge to find Waldo in every "Wheres Waldo" book known to humanity.

I had to ask my fellow party members...

"Has Waldo ever found himself?"

No one got it.


Edit: Added context to the story.

 

[Krynj]

I don't remember.

 

[Ika]

"I love you"

 

[broon]

Originally posted by: Aflac
"I love you"

 

[CRXican]

Originally posted by: FetusCakeMix
I don't remember.

werd

 

[Bill Brasky]

I was leaving a message on my GF's cell phone (GF of 3 months). I wasn't even thinking and ended the message with, "Love ya, call me back." Both me and my friend's eyes just got huge and yelled "OH FUCK." Broke up 1.5 months later of course.

Another time my buddy and I were walking out of a bar in college and cops were everywhere because dipshits had been fighting outside. My buddy says, "Double dog dare me to jump in that cuiser!?!" He does it, revs the engine a few times, and then eats serious pavement. LOL

 

[bobross419]

I called a cop an asshole while I was drunk and underage... he asked me for my ID... I whipped out the old green military ID... he gave me a talking to but let me go

 

[troytime]

"i spent 28 hours straight redesigning your website and you give me a fucking mouse pad!?" (to the CEO of MTX Audio on stage at corporate christmas party after i won some random raffle)

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

When I was in college I lived in a house with 5 other guys, and we had an 8-foot long Budweiser banner that we stole from a rugby tournament and hung on our living room wall. It became our designated quote board. If you said something stupid or funny or at all memorable, it went up on the board.

God, what I would give to have that banner back again. There was some seriously funny shit on it, even though it would probably be meaningless to those who didn't know the contexts.

 

[Krynj]

Not a quote from me, but from one of my buddies.

We were talking about beer steins, and I asked him where he got his 44oz stein. He told me he got it in Germany, but for some reason he continued:

"If you rape chicks in Germany, you get prizes."

 

[chuckywang]

"You two are definitely going to have sex tonight!" - said to my coworker and his g/f when we were out at a bar on a weekend.

 

[BreastInspector]

"I do"

 

[Siddhartha]

"Lets get married." I have a vague memory of saying this. Hopefully I didn't.

"Lets exchange telephone numbers." Somewhere around 80% of the women I have given my number to have call.

"Great big American breasts!!" Well she did have big breasts. I still sounded like an asshole.

"Lets go for a walk."

I said this to a woman who turned out to be my old room mate's new girlfriend who I met at a party thrown for me by my girlfriend. She came up to me saying that she had looked forward to meeting me. She was standing so close she was rubbing her breasts on my chest.

"Doreen"
I said this while I was having sex with Johanna.

 

[Leros]

Originally posted by: broon

Originally posted by: Aflac
"I love you"

 

[Gothgar]

Originally posted by: broon

Originally posted by: Aflac
"I love you"

/thread

 

[Billb2]

Yes officer, I only had two beers............

 

[Fritzo]

"I do."

 

[lokiju]

My friends, my wife and I were all drinking somewhat heavily one evening and we got onto the topic of which super power or super hero you'd want to be if you could pick any.

Everyone gave their various answers and reason and I said "superman has the perfect package!"

Then quickly realized that it could also be taken as another way.

I still get ragged on about that to this day

 

[Soundmanred]

"Hey, I'm going to get a tattoo of a duck!"
Then my friends beat the shit out of me for having such a stupid fucking idea.
When I sobered up, they told me what I said, and I promptly shot myself in the face. I died instantly and saved the world from further dumbassery.

 

[Stuxnet]

Nothing serious. I'm a "happy drunk" and don't get hostile or anything like some people do. But years ago I was with my wife, sister, and sister's boyfriend (now married) and said how lame I thought it was when 20-somethings wore their HS class rings. Then said boyfriend revealed a chain around his neck with his HS class ring on it. Despite my inebriation, I felt terrible and spent the next hour apologizing. He's a cool guy, though... took it all in stride.

 

[Modelworks]

When I was in college we lived in housing that had a strict no drinking while living here policy, hey it was free. So I got drunk one night and on the way in was caught by the manager. I stood there for probably 10 minutes trying to convince him that I wasn't drunk, saying stupid stuff like "If I was drunk could I do this ?" , while trying to do the drunk test where you touch your nose, only I was trying to touch his nose.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Billb2
Yes officer, I only had two beers............

lol... it's always two beers.

 

[TechBoyJK]

I don't remember saying anything drunk, but I once got arrested for pissing outside of a club one night. I don't remember doing it. Spent the night in jail and got a disorderly conduct charge.

 

[SonnyDaze]

"Hey everybody watch this."

 

[SP33Demon]

Sarah, you give the best massages and yes I'd love to sleep in your bed instead of the couch... (her name was Stacy and I had just met her). The birthday boy slept on the couch that night.