What are some good IT stories? And by good I mean horrific

[Fritzo]

High up secretaries (Director/Exec) are always a pita. I've found it's important to make it clear that they cannot boss IT around like that..

Here's the thing, yeah she's suspended for two weeks.. But the damage will be her nasty whispers about IT to the VP's.

Naw---those girls normally love us. We were really friendly with the VP secretaries because they always had access to things like free tickets, free food, entrance to dinners, etc. from the VP's passing them down We even got access to a box at the Mud Hens stadium for a summer once.

 

[OutHouse]

one of the admins i used to work with decided for some reason it would be a good idea to turn on the language content filter on our exchange server. later that afternoon i had a really pissed off engineer standing in my cube chewing me out on why he cant send some schematic to our printing company. i looked at his email and there was some technical word for some widget that had the word butt in it so exchange blocked it. I explained to him why his email was blocked and his response was.

'WHY IN THE FUCK DO WE HAVE LANGUAGE FILTER!!!!!"

he had point and since im lazy not wanting to deal with unnecessary tickets and really saw no reason why the other admin turned that crap on i turned it off and sent a dept email out saying the language filter is now off and will stay that way.

 

[SpatiallyAware]

one of the admins i used to work with decided for some reason it would be a good idea to turn on the language content filter on our exchange server. later that afternoon i had a really pissed off engineer standing in my cube chewing me out on why he cant send some schematic to our printing company. i looked at his email and there was some technical work for some widget that had the word butt in it so exchange blocked it. I explianed to him why his email was blocked and his response was.

'WHY IN THE FUCK DO WE HAVE LANGUAGE FILTER!!!!!"

he had point and since im lazy and really saw no reason why the other admin turned that crap on i turned it off and sent a dept email out saying the language filter is now off and will stay that way.

lol I had a boss that would do crap just like that.. At the time I would guess that 50% of my workload was directly caused by him doing stuff like that.

 

[DarkWarrior2]

At my last IT job, we (the tech team) were working on a classroom PC deployment project. We researched and selected the components we needed for the builds. I first ordered enough parts to build about two or three machines for testing purposes.

We built the machines, but ran into stability problems - random crashes, lockups, and boot errors. A motherboard or two soon died.

We initially thought that we got a bad lot of motherboards, but the boards worked fine with other systems.

Turns out that the small form factor cases (my boss wanted the smallest cases available) had crappy proprietary power supplies.

When we went to the boss with this information, he totally dismissed our findings and insisted that we order twenty or so more to build the rest of the machines. One of the guys on our team argued with on the matter, but it was pointless - our boss wouldn't budge.

So we reluctantly ordered the parts and assembled the PCs. A couple of power supplies actually blew up (big sparks and smoke) when powered on.

When finally deployed, we had all kinds of problems. Students constantly complained about issues (of course) and the we were running around putting out those fires.

After about a month or so with these problem PCs, and all of the associated headaches, our boss finally relented and told us to pick out a more reliable case.

We re-did all of our previous work, rebuilding the PCs with the surviving motherboards, and they were solid - rock solid.

If only our boss had listened to us in the first place, the company would have saved thousands of dollars in equipment and man-hours.

I was eventually fired after I trained my replacement, who I presume earned less than me.

 

[OCGuy]

Wow, a thread full of help desk monkeys. Can a mod please add a virgins only disclaimer to the thread title?




/runs from thread

 

[clamum]

Today I get the ticket back saying the user wants me to copy her permissions to another user. WTF?! Why didn't you say so in first place! i really don't understand why people make things 10x more complicated then it has to be... if you want something just ask for it as it is!

I experience similar things sometimes where I work (software developer). Someone will find a bug or have a problem with an application or website we worked on and report it to us. Fine, no problem. But more likely than not, the description is completely ambiguous and tells me jack shit about what you did to produce it or what the error is. Almost like "I got an error using your software", and that's about it. Ugh.

 

[kedlav]

ever have water leak on an emc cabinet and some dipshit VP order the onsite storage guy power down the frame immediately, over the sysadmin and everyone else's objective?

<happened before my time>

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

At my last IT job, we (the tech team) were working on a classroom PC deployment project. We researched and selected the components we needed for the builds. I first ordered enough parts to build about two or three machines for testing purposes.

We built the machines, but ran into stability problems - random crashes, lockups, and boot errors. A motherboard or two soon died.
...

What the fuck? Why are you hand building PCs for something like this?

 

[DarkWarrior2]

What the fuck? Why are you hand building PCs for something like this?

I'm glad you asked. It's because the company uses removable hard drive racks that won't fit into the Dell corporate desktops. My boss wouldn't look at other OEMs because of cost concerns.

Each class would get a set of hard drives specifically tailored for that particular class, and would get swapped out when classes would change.

In my spare time, I was researching cost effective solutions for pushing down disk images to the student PCs from a central location on the network, because I hated running around swapping out the physical hard drives.

Edit: A ghost server was too slow over 10/100, and upgrading to 10/100/1000 was "too expensive."

Oh, well. Their loss.

 

[kt]

I'm glad you asked. It's because the company uses removable hard drive racks that won't fit into the Dell corporate desktops. My boss wouldn't look at other OEMs because of cost concerns.

Each class would get a set of hard drives specifically tailored for that particular class, and would get swapped out when classes would change.

In my spare time, I was researching cost effective solutions for pushing down disk images to the student PCs from a central location on the network, because I hated running around swapping out the physical hard drives.

Edit: A ghost server was too slow over 10/100, and upgrading to 10/100/1000 was "too expensive."

Oh, well. Their loss.

Even over 100Mbps connection, you can push images in about 15-20mins.

 

[DarkWarrior2]

We probably had really large ghost images, because it usually took us about 30 minutes. Plus we needed to save the existing images as well, unless that was the final class. There wasn't enough time between classes for that to be a viable option anyway.

 

[QueBert]

Worked for Sony VAIO, got a laptop in that had been in a fire, everything on it was ruined. I called the owner and he told me he wanted it "fixed back to new condition" There was nothing even remotely salvageable on it. Talking to the head of my section I was told "go ahead and fix it" I had expected him to say "we'll just send him a brand new laptop" So I put in order requests for every single part that existed for the model. I don't remember how many exactly, but it was a lot. The head of the parts department came out and asked me if my order was a joke. I explained to him what I had been instructed to do, he walked back mumbling something under his breath. Giving the customer a new laptop would have been cheaper and much faster/easier. That was the first, and hopefully only time in my life I'll ever build a lappy 100&#37; from scratch.

Was working Implementation for another company, back in 2000. Was doing an install of our software with a client using PCAnywhere. Was on dialup so it was butt slow. I'd click on a menu and it would take 5 seconds for me to see anything. I had went up to click on something but it hovered on his recent documents list. Which consisted of mail order bride web sites for every country imaginable. He was a computer noob so he didn't realize I was lagging way behind what he was seeing and thought I had spent 5-10 seconds studying his Recent Documents list, I had only saw it for a second, but I still saw what was there. So he spent a few minutes explaining himself to me and seemed really ashamed, and mad like he thought I was being nosy. It was very awkward, and to make matters worse it was the initial training call and we had 4 more (about 30 minutes each) He never mentioned it again, but I'm sure he thought I was laughing at him inside.

 

[DrawninwarD]

MOAR stories!

 

[Braznor]

The story pf a hilarious technical support call at Dell or How I almost told my customer his son is gay.:

I was on the call with the customer when I made the original post.

The customer called us complaining that he found gay pictures on his refurbished computer. He accused my company (Dell) of not formatting his refurbished computer before delivering it to him. He threatened to sue us for this mistake. I told him that his son had already called us up to reinstall windows on it (this happened on the second day after sale) Apparently the son was smart enough to start with a clean install of windows, but stupid enough to leave his porn unhidden from his dad.

The creep put me on hold after I told him this, he came back after ten minutes or so, apologized to me and hung up the phone.

Cliffs: 1. Angry creep calls us after finding gay porn on his refurbished computer.
2. I tell him that the computer was formatted by his son on the second day of purchase itself, implying that the gay phone was downloaded by his son.
3. Creep says sorry and hangs up the phone.

The original thread link

http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=1891681&highlight=sorry

 

[Genx87]

Wow, a thread full of help desk monkeys. Can a mod please add a virgins only disclaimer to the thread title?




/runs from thread

Hey, they dont give admin jobs to nubs out of school We all had to pay our dues and in the meantime get exposed to how truely ignorant people are of their primary work tool.

 

[BoomerD]

From the other side of the situation (the user side), the CPA firm I just started working for recently bought a couple of new computers and had things upgraded.

2 new HP workstations, a new Mac, (have one big client who uses Mac) and a new laptop. With a few software applications and misc. minor hardware, the bill (so far) is over $5900...and many things STILL aren't working right.

The techs didn't install about half the software they were supposed to, (come on...it's a CPA firm...they didn't install Lacerte?) printers don't work, (weren't installed to the new computers) network doesn't work for parts of the office, etc. ad nauseum.
The tech(s) have been back three times already...and they're due back again today.

 

[Tsavo]

A few years ago we were upgrading every PC in the building with new drives and stacked the old ones on a table next to boxes of new ones.

The business had a union, and by contract they were to transport anything over 50 lbs (or whatever) so they had the job of transporting the drives to the disposal center.

Short story even shorter, we arrived at work one morning to a completely empty table...some 15k worth of new drives got crushed along with a bunch of old ones.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

A few years ago we were upgrading every PC in the building with new drives and stacked the old ones on a table next to boxes of new ones.

The business had a union, and by contract they were to transport anything over 50 lbs (or whatever) so they had the job of transporting the drives to the disposal center.

Short story even shorter, we arrived at work one morning to a completely empty table...some 15k worth of new drives got crushed along with a bunch of old ones.

Wow D:

 

[HannibalX]

From the other side of the situation (the user side), the CPA firm I just started working for recently bought a couple of new computers and had things upgraded.

2 new HP workstations, a new Mac, (have one big client who uses Mac) and a new laptop. With a few software applications and misc. minor hardware, the bill (so far) is over $5900...and many things STILL aren't working right.

The techs didn't install about half the software they were supposed to, (come on...it's a CPA firm...they didn't install Lacerte?) printers don't work, (weren't installed to the new computers) network doesn't work for parts of the office, etc. ad nauseum.
The tech(s) have been back three times already...and they're due back again today.

I've been on the IT side of this. People expect certain applications but 1.) Don't specify they want them and 2.) Don't provide a license or $$$ to purchase said license.

Not saying your place did this, but it's very typical. IT people aren't mind readers.

 

[DaveJ]

I've posted this here before, but my best one was from when I was working the helpdesk here, well over a decade ago. We had a Mac user who had a keyboard with a separate number pad (essentially a two-piece KB). For some reason it quit working so we replaced it with a normal one-piece keyboard. A day later she called us up and was furious because there were "too many places to type in numbers" on the new KB so it confused her, and could we please fix it. One of my coworkers offered to go over with a hacksaw to solve the KB problem.

 

[Pacemaker]

The best line I ever got from a user was, "Unlike IT, we actually use our computers." I wonder if she thought about that before she said it.

 

[pontifex]

Had a customer call in last night who was obviously from India. A lot of our clients outsource overseas for the system monitoring.

Me: Do you already have an open ticket or if we need to create a new one.
Him: OK.
Me: No, Do you have a ticket number or do we need to create one?
Him: Ok
Me: Do you have a ticket number?
Him: Yes. ###########

 

[Red Squirrel]

I've been on the IT side of this. People expect certain applications but 1.) Don't specify they want them and 2.) Don't provide a license or $$$ to purchase said license.

Not saying your place did this, but it's very typical. IT people aren't mind readers.

I see this all the time. Users just assume things.

 

[SSUSeaWolf]

Good stuff gents!

 

[BoomerD]

I've been on the IT side of this. People expect certain applications but 1.) Don't specify they want them and 2.) Don't provide a license or $$$ to purchase said license.

Not saying your place did this, but it's very typical. IT people aren't mind readers.

I understand all of that, but I was there when the boss lady gave the IT crew the instructions of what software was installed on the server, what was to be installed on each computer, etc. They had ALL the boxes, all the necessary documentation and licensing, all the necessary disks, etc.

Yes, there was some "miscommunication" but from what I saw...it was a lack of understanding by the IT crew, not a lack of explicit instructions by the boss.