some women blow things out of proportion....I'm not saying ur one of them, but all this sexual harassment thing is getting tiring. If theres physical contact or foul language...then yes, that's sexual harassment. If someone tells ya u look nice, winks, talks about other women that's not sexual harassment. Thats guys being guys....
BoberFett
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 37,562
- 9
- 81
This is for those of you who think anything unwanted can be construed as harassment. Do you consider this harassment?
I worked with a woman and I talked to her now and then, but nothing more than exchanging pleasantries. One evening as we were leaving the office I asked her if she wanted to go out for a few beers and shoot some pool. She agreed.
Several hours later (and quite a few beers
) she drove me back to the office where my car was still parked. Before leaving, I made a move on her. It consisted of nothing more than putting my hands on her waist. At that point, she backed off kind of surprised, I apologised, and she said it was cool. That was the last we saw each other outside of passing in the office.
Several months down the road, she was questioned as to why she wasn't putting in a full 40 hours each week. Her answer was that she didn't feel comfortable working in the office with me alone. (we both worked odd hours at the time) Without coming out and saying the words, she insinuated "sexual harassment".
Legitimate or not? Should I have been fired?
I worked with a woman and I talked to her now and then, but nothing more than exchanging pleasantries. One evening as we were leaving the office I asked her if she wanted to go out for a few beers and shoot some pool. She agreed.
Several hours later (and quite a few beers
) she drove me back to the office where my car was still parked. Before leaving, I made a move on her. It consisted of nothing more than putting my hands on her waist. At that point, she backed off kind of surprised, I apologised, and she said it was cool. That was the last we saw each other outside of passing in the office.Several months down the road, she was questioned as to why she wasn't putting in a full 40 hours each week. Her answer was that she didn't feel comfortable working in the office with me alone. (we both worked odd hours at the time) Without coming out and saying the words, she insinuated "sexual harassment".
Legitimate or not? Should I have been fired?
what's that saying? dun fish around company docks? or something like that....that's ur 1st mistake...
anyways, I dun think u did anything wrong....cept for the fishing part
anyways, I dun think u did anything wrong....cept for the fishing part
I think attempted mounting is grounds for sexual harassment. If your mananger is going at you like a dog in heat, well, thats just gross
In all seriousness, even if he's the manager, there's ALWAYS a bigger fish (Episode One reference, ahhhhhhh!). He has to report to someone if its a franchise. I'd suggest going with your idea to notify someone at the corporate office. They'll be able to direct you in the right direction. It doesn't matter if "restaurants are a sexully charged atmosphere," if its interfering with your work, you don't need to put up with it. Write a letter or two and make a phone call. Be prepared to face the conswequences of the manager finding out. He will probably make it very hard to work there, and you may have to quit. Re-notifiying the corporate office won't help then, because if they were dumb enough to tell him who it was that complained, they obviously don't care about it.
I've been in a situation of sexual harassment only once. It was in high school, and we had a male art teacher that was making several of my female friends uncomfortable. They had talked to me several times about it, and I mentioned it in passing to my older sister. She called the school, without telling me first, and told them about it. Guess who got hauled into the principal's office and had a conference with the principal and superintendant. I didn't want to be drug into it, but they were my friends, and they didn't want to report it themselves. He was a big guy, and I was genuinly (sp?) afraid for their well being should they be in the room working on a project alone with him (it wasn't uncommon for the better artists to be behind on projects, and come in during free time to work on them). I refused to give them either of my friends names (at their request), but having witnessed the actions first hand, I think they believed me. Eiher way, he acted "neutered" the rest of the year, and any knowledge he had of the complaint would have involved me, and not my friends. I don't think he was told who complained, because he never changed his actions towards me. I wouldn't have put it past the dumba$$ administration to tell him it was me, so I was prepared for it.
Nevertheless, good luck at your job with your situation.
In all seriousness, even if he's the manager, there's ALWAYS a bigger fish (Episode One reference, ahhhhhhh!). He has to report to someone if its a franchise. I'd suggest going with your idea to notify someone at the corporate office. They'll be able to direct you in the right direction. It doesn't matter if "restaurants are a sexully charged atmosphere," if its interfering with your work, you don't need to put up with it. Write a letter or two and make a phone call. Be prepared to face the conswequences of the manager finding out. He will probably make it very hard to work there, and you may have to quit. Re-notifiying the corporate office won't help then, because if they were dumb enough to tell him who it was that complained, they obviously don't care about it.
I've been in a situation of sexual harassment only once. It was in high school, and we had a male art teacher that was making several of my female friends uncomfortable. They had talked to me several times about it, and I mentioned it in passing to my older sister. She called the school, without telling me first, and told them about it. Guess who got hauled into the principal's office and had a conference with the principal and superintendant. I didn't want to be drug into it, but they were my friends, and they didn't want to report it themselves. He was a big guy, and I was genuinly (sp?) afraid for their well being should they be in the room working on a project alone with him (it wasn't uncommon for the better artists to be behind on projects, and come in during free time to work on them). I refused to give them either of my friends names (at their request), but having witnessed the actions first hand, I think they believed me. Eiher way, he acted "neutered" the rest of the year, and any knowledge he had of the complaint would have involved me, and not my friends. I don't think he was told who complained, because he never changed his actions towards me. I wouldn't have put it past the dumba$$ administration to tell him it was me, so I was prepared for it.
Nevertheless, good luck at your job with your situation.
BoberFett - No. You thought things were going well, made a move, she said no and you stopped. Also, it was outside the office and off the clock, so it should not affect work. She could have said: "Hey, I feel uncomfortable about what happened the other night." you you could have said: "Hey, sorry it won't happen again." But no she made a big stink about it behind your back.
Sorry to hear that happen.:|
Sorry to hear that happen.:|
Bober, you weren't wrong and shouldn't have been fired. She should have told you she didn't feel that way and ask to remain friends.
Several of the guys are making lewd remarks to certain people. My friend asked the bartender to show her how to make a few simple drinks, he said come back behind the bar, and when she did he said "get on your knees" and she said "no," and he said "you know one girl actually did get on her knees and start to unzip my pants." She said "stupid girl" and walked off.
Secondly, many of the guys there are always making lewd sex remarks such as screw the girl here and what he would do there, etc. etc.
Thirdly, my friend asked the manager if he needed any more hosts, and he said "is she cute?"
Fourth, when I was in the back the other day someone was talking about sex, and the manager looked at me, put something in front of his face, and said something to the guy in the back. Do I know if he said something about me? No, I don't, but I did feel uncomfortable because I didn't know what was said, I would have rather heard a stupid comment and tell him to STFU than him to try to hide it.
Fifth, my friend said the same manager pats people on the butt; he better not touch my "sweet cheeks" or he will have some "sore nads."
I don't feel that sex remarks are appropriate in the workplace especially in a restaurant environment because it effects everyone around them because the facility is usually small. I also don't think a manager is being professional when he will only hire "cute girls," unless it is a "cute girl" themed restuarant, which it is not!
We have witnessed all of this and we have only been there a week and a half.
Several of the guys are making lewd remarks to certain people. My friend asked the bartender to show her how to make a few simple drinks, he said come back behind the bar, and when she did he said "get on your knees" and she said "no," and he said "you know one girl actually did get on her knees and start to unzip my pants." She said "stupid girl" and walked off.
Secondly, many of the guys there are always making lewd sex remarks such as screw the girl here and what he would do there, etc. etc.
Thirdly, my friend asked the manager if he needed any more hosts, and he said "is she cute?"
Fourth, when I was in the back the other day someone was talking about sex, and the manager looked at me, put something in front of his face, and said something to the guy in the back. Do I know if he said something about me? No, I don't, but I did feel uncomfortable because I didn't know what was said, I would have rather heard a stupid comment and tell him to STFU than him to try to hide it.
Fifth, my friend said the same manager pats people on the butt; he better not touch my "sweet cheeks" or he will have some "sore nads."
I don't feel that sex remarks are appropriate in the workplace especially in a restaurant environment because it effects everyone around them because the facility is usually small. I also don't think a manager is being professional when he will only hire "cute girls," unless it is a "cute girl" themed restuarant, which it is not!
We have witnessed all of this and we have only been there a week and a half.
I'm sure Sherrif Hege would love to hear any tape you make.
Perhaps your manager would like to room with a pink elephant at the county jail?
Perhaps your manager would like to room with a pink elephant at the county jail?
FettsBabe, from what you have put on here, I'd take a guess that you wouldn't win in court -- the threshold is actually higher than most people think. However, the attitudes appear to be pervasive enough to make a defense lawyer sit up and take notice and think very seriously about reasonable settlement.
If you are serious about doing something, it might be as simple as having a lawyer write a letter to their corporate counsel informing them of the problem (or to the owner if this is a single restaurant and not a larger entity). If there are no adequate procedures for reporting this sort of behavior to a general manager or to a regional manager or to the owner, then you have to get someone else involved.
While I am not for a completely gender neutral workplace, you'd think idiots like that would realize that they are going a bit far.
If you are serious about doing something, it might be as simple as having a lawyer write a letter to their corporate counsel informing them of the problem (or to the owner if this is a single restaurant and not a larger entity). If there are no adequate procedures for reporting this sort of behavior to a general manager or to a regional manager or to the owner, then you have to get someone else involved.
While I am not for a completely gender neutral workplace, you'd think idiots like that would realize that they are going a bit far.
You can't just accuse someone of sexual harassment just because they are doing something you are uncomfortable with. Sexual harassment is wrong, but the other party might not know that they are offending you. I think sexual harassment is when someone is doing something inappropriate to you and after repeatedly telling them that you don't want them to so they still do it.
I agree Andrew. I know it probably wouldn't hold in court, but it would make them think about their policies and possibly have them put some in place. That would be the goal. Any money from the settlement would be given to a charity that handles serious sexual harassment cases. I think the company has policies in place I just think they are ignoring them and not telling the workers about them.
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