I don't see the world that way. Sorry but there is a right and there is a wrong. What she is doing is wrong and is deplorable. It is my business because she chose to tell me about it and make it my business. What kind of a friend would sit and listen to that and not say anything about it? What kind of friend would let a person continue down a path of destruction like she is on? Maybe I can't stop her from acting this way, but I can let her know that her actions have repercussions. One of which will be losing a friend that has stood by her side for over a decade. I'm sorry but some actions are unforgivable in my mind. Taking advantage of someone and using them for shiny bits and bobbles is one of those actions. And yes I consider her a whore since she only stayed with him, slept with him, and appeared on his arm just to get the necklace and some other things.
Well then fine, don't use it against her. If she is a cold hearted B!tch that you are making her out to be, don't bother wasting your time on threatening to tell the guy or telling her you wont be her friend anymore. Nothing she could ever do will change the way you still feel. Most likely she wont care much about loosing your friendship, your acting like a wako over it. Its only your business just because she told you (out of confidence at that). It's not your business to get "involved" is what I was trying to say.
You already said "I'm sorry but some actions are unforgivable in my mind." You will never forgive her, so what good is her friendship to you now. If you choose to walk away do yourselves a favor do it quietly.
Be cool and calm no matter what you do, don't let it turn heated. Once you do the perception is that you are an opinionated bastard, and you suk. You don't have to attack her, just explain that it's wrong and maybe she will be able to tell you why she is doing it, or you can make her understand that it's wrong without anyone hating anyone...
When she was telling me about it she started off by saying "I know you are going to hate me for this but...." and then told me the story. I told her I didn't hate her and that I thought what she is doing was wrong. She told me that "It was her turn to care about herself and get what she wanted" her exact words. I told her she was acting like nothing but a $20 whore and that's when she got mad and left. I never raised my voice but got my point across. She didn't like what I was saying and so she ran away. She knew before she told me that I would disagree with what she was doing but because she thought it was so funny she wanted to tell me about it. The whole thing is a joke to her and she thinks it's funny that she's getting away with it. That's when it really crossed the line for me. To do it is bad enough, to laugh about it makes it inexcusable.
So you told her its wrong already and she disagreed. Whatever you do is your choice, whatever.. If you make her feel like crap over it she just might choose not to be your friend. There is a line between friends and lovers, she didn't cross the friendship line with you, she crossed the line with her current lover which you are not. Maybe he wont even care... Maybe he's the type that buys girls things to keep them on his arm. Get the fact first, dude. And try chilling out. It's really not that big of a deal. She didn't kill anyone.
Jeffwo
Platinum Member
- Mar 2, 2001
- 2,759
- 0
- 76
Yup, what she is doing totally disgusts me. However this is a losing proposition for you. If you call the dude, he will confront her and then she will confront you. Not good!
Unless you are really hard up for friends, I would suggest that you tell her that she is a disgusting slut for doing this to any guy and for her to just erase you from her circle of friends.
But, then, what do I know about relationships?...LOL
Jeff
Unless you are really hard up for friends, I would suggest that you tell her that she is a disgusting slut for doing this to any guy and for her to just erase you from her circle of friends.
But, then, what do I know about relationships?...LOL
Jeff
When you get her on the phone, ask specifically what he did to her to deserve this, although it may be something too embarrassing to divulge. Perhaps he promised her she would love some kinky kind of sex, had his way with her, and she didn't love it one bit! Yeah, my imagination is running wild, but she may have a logical reason to get back at him.
omg, no one asked if she was hot? pics? 
Just wanna warn you, no good will come out of this for you. No good deed goes unpunished!
Just wanna warn you, no good will come out of this for you. No good deed goes unpunished!
I asked her why she was doing this and her response was "Because he can afford it." When I asked why she was breaking it off with him all she would say was "I haven't really liked him in a couple of months." When I pressed her on why she doesn't like him anymore all she could say is "I don't know, I just don't feel anything now." As far as I know she has never mistreated her and he seems like a nice guy. Like I said I don't really know him, I just know they had problems, worked them out, then all she could talk about was how great he was, now this. Seems to me that she has been sticking around and selling herself out.
No pics of her. No, wait. I may have one. Let me see if I can find one and scan it.
Even if he were guilty of some deplorable thing, it doesn't justify this, and it will not improve the situation. The best thing for both of them to do is just walk away and keep in as good of graces as possible by leveling and returning the neckless. It is just a trinket, after all; certainly not worth damaging the relationship of her good friend of 10 years for. Just my 2¢.
"Even if he were guilty of some deplorable thing..."
Hmmm, my imagination is running wild again... :Q
Hmmm, my imagination is running wild again... :Q
I found a picture of her. It's not the greatest in the world and was taken about 2 years ago.
Picture
I should have a picture from Halloween around here somewhere that has her, the BF, me, and my GF in it. When I find it I'll post that one as well.
Still haven't heard back from her. I'lll try calling again later.
Picture
I should have a picture from Halloween around here somewhere that has her, the BF, me, and my GF in it. When I find it I'll post that one as well.
Still haven't heard back from her. I'lll try calling again later.
I'm almost willing to bet that this guy knows that she doesn't really love him and is in love with the material things. I say, stay out of it. If some guy is willing to shower a high maintenance gf with that much material things, so be it. I won't fault her for exploiting it.
You can try butting in, but you'll become the centre of mockery. A guy who does what he's doing has his own problem and is aware of what she does. He just wants to buy her love. Let it be between them.
You can try butting in, but you'll become the centre of mockery. A guy who does what he's doing has his own problem and is aware of what she does. He just wants to buy her love. Let it be between them.
Well I just got back from meeting them both for a necklace exchange. I had finally gotten in touch with her over the phone and had given her the choices I listed earlier She said she would call him and talk to him while I was there so I went over to her place. She called him, broke things off, and they agreed to meet so she could give him back the necklace. He told her to keep it but I think I put such a guilt trip on her that she knew she had to return it in order to do the right thing. We all met at a nearby coffee shop, they talked for a bit and then she gave him the necklace back and we left. She cried as soon as we got back into the car and told me she knew she was being a bitch but that she was just so tired of never getting anything out of relationships that she felt like she deserved a few gifts. We talked for a while and I tried to explain to her that getting material possessions don't make a relationship a good one. She says she knows that, but just keeps getting screwed over anyway so why shouldn't she get something good out of it. I told her that's not the attitude to have and that she needed to change her mindset if she was ever going to be happy. I left her place, stopped and picked up some beer, and then came home. When I got here there was a message on my machine from the ex BF telling me thanks for making her tell him the truth, and a message from her telling me she was sorry for acting like a slut and that she hoped we could still be friends. I'm not exactly happy with her, but at least in the end she did the right thing.
Honestly this thread should be placed into the Internet hall of fame as perhaps the only time when being the nice guy and doing the right thing didn't backfire in some horribly unanticipated way.
go go nerd power.
friends keep friends in check.
a friend in need is a friend indeed.
what was the other one? oh yeah. friends don't let friends drink and drive. in the end, she did the right thing and that'a worth something
Knowing what kind of person she really is I had a feeling this would all turn out ok. I think there is something deeper going on with her to make her act this way since she has never been this type of person. I just have a feeling that something had to happed to cause her to think this way. Hopefully she will work her way though it or ask one of her friends for help with it. The way she was acting just isn't her.
I didn't read through the whole thread. but.. mann..
I am glad my girlfriend isn't like that. :Q It seems there are less and less genuine people in the world...
What ever happened to love and romance, anyway?
:frown:
I am glad my girlfriend isn't like that. :Q It seems there are less and less genuine people in the world...
What ever happened to love and romance, anyway?
:frown:
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