• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Went on a date with a 20 year old mother

Page 4 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
My significant other has 2 kids that aren't mine. The both call me daddy, and I view them as my children. She is an awesome girl, very mature and smart. We are both young (23), and honestly I never saw myself getting into a relationship like this but things happened we fell in love and alas here we are. There are great girls out there, kids or no kids (don't let this be a deciding factor for you if you and the girl really do click), but there are 1000x more bad ones. Well not bad, but once you find the one that is absolutely perfect for you all of the rest of em just don't cut it.
 
Originally posted by: UglyCasanova
My significant other has 2 kids that aren't mine. The both call me daddy, and I view them as my children. She is an awesome girl, very mature and smart. We are both young (23), and honestly I never saw myself getting into a relationship like this but things happened we fell in love and alas here we are. There are great girls out there, kids or no kids (don't let this be a deciding factor for you if you and the girl really do click), but there are 1000x more bad ones. Well not bad, but once you find the one that is absolutely perfect for you all of the rest of em just don't cut it.
Click to expand...

You do know women instinctually seek out one man for genetics and another to provide for their children financially? I'd keep an eye out for signs of infidelity. Not trying to be an ass, just realistic.
 
Originally posted by: ballmode
The government pretty much pays about everything for her, being a single college mom.
Click to expand...
Great. My tax dollars at work, so some ignorant baby breeder can keep on rolling. :disgust:
 
If you want advice from someone who's been there, I'll give you mine.

I was 23 when I dated a 24 yr old single mom with a 6 year old. The girl was great, and her daughter is even better. Although we haven't dated for almost 2 years now, I still take her daughter out for little "dates" every few weeks.

My ex sounds a bit like the woman you're considering though. She has a good head on her shoulders, is street smart, passionate, and quite amazing, but has definite periods of, well, craziness. Mood swings, past baggage, difficulty committing to things (jobs/people etc), made it just much too stressful to work out. It wasn't a continual thing by any stretch of the imagination; things would be wonderful for several weeks, and then there'd be 2-3 days of that craziness and drama. She's a wonderful mom, and her daughter is a wonderful child, and I'm sure in the right situation they'd be part of a great family, but it wasn't to be for me.

She wanted to settle down and get married, I was still in school. It sounds like you won't really have that problem though as she's still in school too.
 
Originally posted by: Excelsior
It wasn't a continual thing by any stretch of the imagination; things would be wonderful for several weeks, and then there'd be 2-3 days of that craziness and drama.
Click to expand...

pms?
Click to expand...

Nope. I knew the cycle and while it occasionally coincided, much of the time it did not. Her stresses were usually about money and trying to quit smoking.
 
Here is my advice to you...

Do you think you can get another girl without kids or do you have bad luck with girls? If you think you have bad luck with girls and this may be your lucky girl that may come your way then read on. Otherwise go get another girl without a kid because girls in general can be problems like some of us guys.

First ask yourself do you want to take care of another man's kids? If yes or does not matter, then would you be able to never ever go out anymore and just work and stay home just to take care of the kid? I say this because a kid is not a 9 to 5 job or anything like that, a kid is a 24/7 job! Considering the kid is now a year old, she should be able to walk and when they walk they get into everything. Also she will hurt herself alot thus resulting in alot of crying which personally drives me crazy! You can not just leave the kid with someone and expect them to watch her because that is just irresponsibilty of not caring for the/your kid. If you think you can take it and not go anywhere anymore then read on.

Originally posted by: ballmode
She has a good head on her shoulders, but has crazy party tendencies. Her parents don't like how she raises the daughter, but I don't know the details.
Click to expand...

A girl with crazy party tendencies is always a bad thing and she will most definitely want to hang out with her party friends which may piss you off because I can guarentee you that some of her friends you will not like too much which will be a negative towards her because she will choose her friends over you since she has known them longer then you.

Also her parents do not like the way she is raising her daughter is another red flag that should go off in your head stating that maybe she is not responsible or totally dependent as you stated yourself because when she is out with you then who the hell is watching her daughter, certainly not her! If she can not take the responsiblity of her past actions by caring for her daughter 24/7 then her bitch ass should not have spread those skank legs in the first place!

Originally posted by: ballmode
I don't think we have much in common but we get along.
Click to expand...

If you do not have anything in common then your relationship is gonna suck hairy monkey balls because this is how it is gonna turn out. In the beginning everything is gonna be great because you both will be infatuated with each other and you look past the bad traits of each other but over time they become more apparent and more annoying then the previous day and then eventually you both come home and do not do anything together and do your own seperate thing and probally do not even go to bed together and what the hell kind of relationship is that?!

But if you think you can handle a baby 24/7 and you really like her then go chance it if you think she is a good girl and she will treat you with respect and not just sex!

This is all my speculation and it may not even turn out this way but I am sure alot of people can vouche from what I said... but personally I would never ever date a girl with a kid because she screwed up and I would not want to take care of her problems she made for herself. Think before you jump!

Edit: Many edits later 🙁
 
thanks mad maxx, I think I'm leaning towards the ATOT majority and I'm just gonna look for someone else.

As for me, women aren't very common that are my type around here.

What I mean by "type", is somebody who is near my age, ready to graduate, doesn't smoke, and would even date me. I've posted my pic here before and I've had past girlfriends. Maybe I'm just too picky, or I'm in the wrong town.

Btw, I go to a community college in indiana.
 
There ain't nothing NOTHING good comming out out of that. Quit being desperate and find yourself someone without baggage... especially considering that you're 22 years old.
 
Originally posted by: ballmode
The only reason I'm still actually interested is that she has everything worked out. Totally dependent, goes to school full time, and has the government pay for everything.
Click to expand...

I am not sure if that is a sadder reflection of her for getting herself in that position or of you for thinking that having the govt paying for everything is having "everything worked out".

MotionMan
 
Originally posted by: CKent
Originally posted by: UglyCasanova
My significant other has 2 kids that aren't mine. The both call me daddy, and I view them as my children. She is an awesome girl, very mature and smart. We are both young (23), and honestly I never saw myself getting into a relationship like this but things happened we fell in love and alas here we are. There are great girls out there, kids or no kids (don't let this be a deciding factor for you if you and the girl really do click), but there are 1000x more bad ones. Well not bad, but once you find the one that is absolutely perfect for you all of the rest of em just don't cut it.
Click to expand...

You do know women instinctually seek out one man for genetics and another to provide for their children financially? I'd keep an eye out for signs of infidelity. Not trying to be an ass, just realistic.
Click to expand...


Yeah, actually it was in the news recently...

I wouldn't touch that with a 12ft pole attached to my 12 ft pole.
 
Originally posted by: ballmode
I'm friends with her best friend, the best friend claims she has been with 2 guys since the baby.

Been screwed over by both, probably defensive around me because of past guys.
Click to expand...

The first thing you must learn is these types of women are totally, and completely, full of it. Feel for the kid, but leave while you still can. My ex is the same way, crazy party girl, 2 of my kids, and you would have to be crazy to want to deal with that. Who is going to watch the kids while she is out partying? YOU!!

GTFO while you still can bro. Take it from someone with experience.
 
Originally posted by: CKent
You do know women instinctually seek out one man for genetics and another to provide for their children financially? I'd keep an eye out for signs of infidelity. Not trying to be an ass, just realistic.
Click to expand...


So true. Watch your back man. My ex was still sleeping with me for almost a year after we seperated. She even spent this New Year's with me. All the while some other dude is buying her stuff and what not.
 
Originally posted by: Perknose
Originally posted by: ballmode
The government pretty much pays about everything for her, being a single college mom.
Click to expand...
Great. My tax dollars at work, so some ignorant baby breeder can keep on rolling. :disgust:
Click to expand...

I'm all for helping someone get an education. She sounds like she's on the right side of the line to me - it's the ones with multiple kids and no drive to go to school, so they'll never be able to get themselves OFF my dime that piss me off.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top