Wedding conflict with selfish intentions - what do you do?

[schmuckley]

Move the birthday party a day. Your kid won't mind.

^this..

 

[MrRamon]

I don't know that I've ever heard of people flying multiple states for a birthday party.

For a wedding, sure...but for a birthday party?

Just fire up skype and let them watch you open your kid's presants. It'll be just like they were there.

Wait, what? I thought he lives close to his parents...

 

[Newell Steamer]

Leave kid with the grandparents - travel to the wedding sans kid.

I guess you will travel back the following day. So, that night, you can all cut a cake together, etc. Sure it's one day late, but, no one is going to side with moving a wedding for a birthday party.

 

[schmuckley]

During the wedding, grab the DJ's mic and announce that you're celebrating your kid's first birthday. Bring out a small cake for your kid and have everyone sing happy birthday. Your attention whore sister in law will shit a fit and can't do anything or she'd look horrible.

Too bad there's no rep or anything here 😀
:awe:

That is the kind of brilliant thing I never think of.

 

[Fritzo]

I don't know you, but every case I've ever seen of "This person did this to spite me!" has always been in their heads.

 

[waggy]

Move the birthday party a day. Your kid won't mind.

wow. RG actually has it right in the first thread.

Move the party date. the kid won't mind. The party is for the adults anyway.


though i like the idea of telling people its the kids birthday too...

 

[DCal430]

nvm

 

[zinfamous]

Move the birthday party a day. Your kid won't mind.

seriously. kid is 1. no one will remember this after a year.

 

[zinfamous]

Oh, that's only part of it. She tattled on me to my in laws after that pot incident mentioned in that thread, and ignored me on facebook among other things, we're not friendsm we don't get a long, at all. and my wife loves her, hence my conundrum, I"d otherwise have nada to do with her..

damn man, what a see you next tuesday. D:

 

[CLite]

You really should see a professional about your sense of paranoia. And that is not a flippant, typical ATOT insult. If you honestly think a woman planned her wedding to fuck with a kids birthday party you're either now, or soon will be, a danger to yourself and others.

Either paranoia or helpless self-absorption.

 

[RossMAN]

Wedding > birthday

 

[preCRT]

For the next 100 years your SIL will try and usurp your child's birthday as her anniversary. But probably for only a year or so, if her marriage lasts that long. 😛

 

[kranky]

I've found it's effective to thwart passive-aggressiveness by killing them with kindness. It drives them crazy when none of their tactics seem to upset you - because that's what they are aiming for.

You know you can move the birthday party without any problems, so just do that. Don't even say anything about the date conflict. They want to hear you acknowledge that you see the conflict and that it bothers you and you have to submit to their plan since wedding > 1st birthday. That's how they win.

If you don't mention it, and they don't see that you are bothered by it, they will be upset because they went to all the trouble to inconvenience you and it failed.

But you must truly understand that moving a 1-year-old's birthday party to a different day is nothing. It literally does not matter at all.

When passive-aggressive people come to realize their tactics aren't bothering you, they will quit. They realize they aren't getting any satisfaction out of all their efforts.

 

[JulesMaximus]

For the next 100 years your SIL will try and usurp your child's birthday as her anniversary. But probably for only a year or so, if her marriage lasts that long. 😛

Once you're married the only people celebrating your anniversary is you and your wife. Maybe at the 50 year mark you might have a big party and invite friends.

 

[vi edit]

You know you can move the birthday party without any problems, so just do that. Don't even say anything about the date conflict. They want to hear you acknowledge that you see the conflict and that it bothers you and you have to submit to their plan since wedding > 1st birthday. That's how they win.

If you don't mention it, and they don't see that you are bothered by it, they will be upset because they went to all the trouble to inconvenience you and it failed.

Nailed it.

They know they get under your skin because you react. Don't buy in and it'll stop. You keep fanning the flames.

 

[Legios]

Here is the scenario where it would be passive aggressive.

Your wife is IN her sisters wedding so she has to go right, meaning you most likely would go. The kicker is, no kids are allowed to attend since you know they would cost as much as an adult attendee to any caterer. Now you might have a leg to stand on with regards to her trying to stick it to you.

In fact my family had this scenario play out this summer. A wedding in Cali while we are east coast. I didnt understand all the reasons kids werent invited but I didnt hold it against anyone. Took the kids to Cali got a sitter for 5 hours and they spent the rest of the week with us doing awesome West Coast shit like dune buggys and searching tidal pools, and surf lessons.

 

[rh71]

The only thing that mattered for their 1st birthday were pictures. Just move it to the day before. That's as much as you can do to retaliate.