Updated: ATOT Parents: How to get baby to sleep

[Patt]

We are currently setting out a plan of action, detailing what the steps are going to be, so we both know, and can provide the consistency everyone keeps mentioning. Part of our difficulty has been that I have been embroiled in a project that has me working long hours, and that pressure has finally eased somewhat, so I can be a more active participant.

Priority #1 ... common routine
Priority #2 ... sleeping in the crib vs. the bed
Priority #3 ... moving the crib to a different room.

 

[Mxylplyx]

Originally posted by: SlowSpyder
My son will be 7 months old on April 1st. We got him into a routine. Also, stop being a wuss and coddling your kid. Let her cry it out. Our baby has a schedule he sticks too and regulary sleeps through the night and has since he was about 4 months old. Our baby also slept in his crib since the day we took him home, never in our bed. You'll want to break that habit too.

Amen. The coddling of kids has made kids way too clingy to their parents and emotionally fragile, and it has made parenting much, much harder and exhausting that it needs to be. I couldnt imagine how difficult my life would be if I scooped up my baby as soon as he started to cry. By not doing that when he was younger, we are much happier, and in turn my kid is much happier. Parents physically and emotionally exhausting themselves trying to overparent their children is bad for the kids, bad for the parents, and bad for the marriage.

/rant

 

[mad0maxx]

Yeah... you can let your baby cry for a while but not for an hour... that is way too long! My max is 30 minutes... if he is still crying for more than 30 minutes than there is probally something wrong... ie hungry, poopy diaper, wet diaper, rash, etc.

 

[silverpig]

Gravol

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: silverpig
Gravol

why are you sharing your how to get a women to sleep method?

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[geecee]

Your wife definitely needs to let go a little. The baby needs to sleep in her own crib and you will need to let her cry a bit. It may take a few days to (in extreme cases) a couple of weeks but the baby will eventually get the message. I saw the book methods mentioned above (extinction, graduated extinction,etc) and can say that we used graduated extinction (I had no idea what it was called - the things that you can learn from ATOT! ) and it took a little less than a week, if I recall correctly. I'd like to echo the sentiments that ROUTINE is very important. Our baby never slept in our bed though, just in the same room (crib was in our bedroom - 1 BR apartment). But it reached a point where we would put her down for bed then leave the room and she would go to sleep on her own with no problems.

It's also better to get this done now. I have a friend whose wife insisted on keeping the baby in bed with them and pretty much couldn't deal with the kid crying at all. So they pretty much coddled him at bedtime until their child was almost 3 and it took them forever (2-3 months) to get him to sleep in his own bed. They had to go through a ridiculous routine for that whole time to put their son to bed and the kid would refuse to go to sleep if Mom wasn't around to put him down (i.e. Dad and the grandparents would have no success). The wife basically had to be around all the time at bedtime. Honestly, I didn't really feel bad for her because it was her own fault that things ended up that way.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: silverpig
Gravol

Although not how my parents got me to sleep, before every car/plane/train trip I was dosed with Gravol because of motion-sickness issues. I pretty much slept all the time while travelling to and from.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: geecee
Your wife definitely needs to let go a little.
...
The wife basically had to be around all the time at bedtime. Honestly, I didn't really feel bad for her because it was her own fault that things ended up that way.

I snipped up your comments, because these are both true, and we both realize it. I am not willing to have a 1 year old in my bed, hell, I hardly sleep in there these days because I need to be up at 6 for work. Neither of us are interested in a 3 year old dominating our bed, hence the efforts we are beginning now.

 

[ebaycj]

booze + vicodin works for me, might work for your kid too?

 

[ahurtt]

"daughter has slept in bed until now, Mom's decision"
"wife is opposed to 'cry-it-out' methods"
"Mom feeds daughter in bed at night"

Sounds like your wife is the problem. Man up and put your foot down. Otherwise you are gonna have one hell of a spoiled brat soon. Also, everything I have read advises against having a newborn baby sleeping in the same bed as you as you run the risk of smothering the child in your sleep without ever knowing it.

 

[digiram]

Cry it out is something that I had problems with for both my children, but that's what my wife used and it works great.

It's very hard and you just have to ignore it and do something else while they are crying, but it works.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: digiram
Cry it out is something that I had problems with for both my children, but that's what my wife used and it works great.

It's very hard and you just have to ignore it and do something else while they are crying, but it works.

Well, I did just build a machine and buy S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

 

[NoMoMoney]

Agree that routine is important... something that also helped my daughter is EASY (Eat Activity Sleep Yourself (time)). Basically during the day don't let the kid nap right after eating. At night it is OK, but during the day follow the EASY method. We didn't let our daughter cry it out until she was 12 months I think, but she slept through most (95%) nights by the time she was 2 months. Got the method in Secrets of the Baby Whisper book. I highly recommend the book, but realize that every baby is different and EASY won't work on all of them. Also, we found putting our daughter down in the crib before she actually fell asleep worked well too.

OH and don't make eye contact with them at night (last feeding or during rocking or whatever), it stimulates infants! I swear, I didn't believe it at first, but was true.

 

[Rage187]

how did the rest of the week ago?

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

The two reasons she wakes up so much is because she's used to it and because breast milk is digested so quickly that she feel hungry very soon after eating last.

The easiest way to handle it is to cut off feedings at night at the same time you cut off breast feeding. I, instead of my wife, slept by her for a few nights and endured the cries and got up to get her some solid food when she wouldn't go back to sleep. Took a few days of that and she began sleeping through most of the night.

 

[Patt]

It got so much better ... we're amazed at the difference. We can put her down at about 7:30 p.m., and she won't wake until near midnight for a feeding, and then around 5 for another. We're going to phase out one of those night feedings, but just to have her go down quickly is great. It went from 45 minutes the first night, down to now, where it has seemingly plateaued at around 10-15 minutes of fussing on her own before sleeping. Much less of the crazy my-lungs-might-pop-out screaming in the last couple of nights too.

It has also had the added benefit of more regular nap schedules. We're not out of it yet, but we are well on the way. If we can successfully eliminate one night feeding, it won't be too long before the breastfeeding stops completely at night (and then they're all for me again )

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: Patt
It got so much better ... we're amazed at the difference. We can put her down at about 7:30 p.m., and she won't wake until near midnight for a feeding, and then around 5 for another. We're going to phase out one of those night feedings, but just to have her go down quickly is great. It went from 45 minutes the first night, down to now, where it has seemingly plateaued at around 10-15 minutes of fussing on her own before sleeping. Much less of the crazy my-lungs-might-pop-out screaming in the last couple of nights too.

It has also had the added benefit of more regular nap schedules. We're not out of it yet, but we are well on the way. If we can successfully eliminate one night feeding, it won't be too long before the breastfeeding stops completely at night (and then they're all for me again )

Glad to hear it's going so well, Patt.

 

[Patt]

OP updated too