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Updated 6/18: YAGT: How to deal with working too much.
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ngvepforever2
Golden Member
Last summer I worked two jobs during the summer (around 16-18 hr/day) and I could tell you that she must be really exhausted now and it might really cause her some health problems. You have to explain to her that she needs to re evaluate her plan. I also pay my own tuition and I know that it's not easy. Working so many hours will make her so exhausted that she will be going to school for nothing because her brain will be so tired to assimilate. Basically, she'd be wasting money and time. I tell you this because I have experience, as I mentioned I worked really hard the whole summer and took no breaks, when school time came I started working my regular hours (36 hrs/wk) and I didn't do well , I was feeling tired but I didn't know why. It was up until my midterms (which I did below what I consider average for me and on which I had made stupid mistakes) that I realized I was tired. I tried to start relaxing, working less and my grades starting improving. Fortunately, this summer I found a good internship that pays good and I learn a lot. She needs to come up with a better plan than working 18 hr/s a day 7 days a week, for starters she should try finding a job with a better pay.
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OneOfTheseDays
Diamond Member
if she were smart she'd realize there is absolutely no reason she should be shacking up with some immature 20 year old at this young of an age. she's throwing her life away by staying with the OP, if he were smart and cared about her he'd tell her to make things right with her parents and go back to Penn again. she's making horrendous decisions that she will most likely regret.
imported_LoKe
Lifer
That depends entirely on the person. Obviously this is something she really believes she should be doing. The decision is left to her and EyeMWing.
Her parents have a very, very bad case of "MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT xxxx" syndrome. Her older brother decided he wanted to do the trade school thing. Mentioning him in that house is a sin. There's nothing that's going to make things right with them outside of reenrolling at PSU - and there's no reason on earth that she should be made to do something that she doesn't want to do, and then sacraficing many of her freedoms as an adult over what amounts to nothing but money.
Will show her this. Not sure there's anywhere she can go to get paid better, the economy is pretty well in the crapper here, and unless she wants to work in freight handling (and I've worked with her to load trucks and shipping containers before, as part of a volunteer project that we're both involved in, and she's GROSSLY ineffective at that.), there's nowhere to go without either tons of experience, or a degree that'll land you more than $12 or so.
Might want to rethink some of the math. Overtime is usually taxed much higher than normal wages. So it might take a bit longer to pay off, but not much I guess.
Let her try to do it and see how things pan out.
On a side note, with the parents as you describe, your relationship future with her doesn't look too peachy because of the family.
Let her try to do it and see how things pan out.
On a side note, with the parents as you describe, your relationship future with her doesn't look too peachy because of the family.
Oh, and I should also note that she's played soccer for almost her whole life, since about age 4. Out of everything, playing that game was what she enjoyed most. It literally came first - in the past, she'd clock out, leave work, go play, and then go back after the game. The team she's been on lately blows, HARD, and she's the only one on the entire team that's scored in the past 3 seasons, but she still loves it.
She dropped her league this season to make room for this ridiculous crap - after looking forward to switching to outdoor for this season all spring, winter, and most of the fall. When she told me, I was floored. I was just starting to like that sport, too.
She dropped her league this season to make room for this ridiculous crap - after looking forward to switching to outdoor for this season all spring, winter, and most of the fall. When she told me, I was floored. I was just starting to like that sport, too.
AbAbber2k
Diamond Member
Be supportive and understanding. She obviously has some Mommy-Daddy issues to work through, as they seem to have instilled some fvcked up monetary values in her. If you're too forceful in trying to get her to cut down the hours she may resent you and the relationship could go sour. And for the love of god don't ever, even jokingly, suggest that she should cut back because she's missing out on quality time with you. That'll ony make her feel like sh1t, especially if you're really close, which it sounds like you are. Cook a nice dinner for her to come home to or something, and just get her to talk, even if it isn't about the situation. It'll at least let her know she has someone to confide in.
Even at 50% taxation, she still has it all paid for in a very short period of time.
They don't bother us. It's prettymuch as though they died, left everything to their cat, left the cat to the neighbor, and she wasn't named as a beneficiary on their insurance policies. Relationship-wise, things have improved steadily since the falling out.
The fact that, right now, I don't have a FIRST job? Got hurt BAD in a corporate slash-and-burn. I'm in the process of interviewing for a datacenter job, which I shouldn't have any problems landing, but it's slow going (they're doing a TON of background checks and crap, because my position earns a security clearance)
Right, it wouldn't take long, but OT still gets taxed a lot.
I was talking about the future of the relationship. If it got serious then the family would be impossible to avoid forever. It's also only been 1.5 months, so it's not like the parents have been out of the scene for any extended period of time. Expect a daughter to eventually get back in contact with her parents. Also a word of advice, don't get in the middle of quarrels between her and her parents, or any child and their parents, SO or not.
Now, since she's living on her own and supporting herself, won't financial aid consider her an emancipated student and make her eligable for much better aid than if her parents income is taken into account? Of course her working a moronic amount of hours like she is now won't work, but a normal work schedule at her level usually nets results with financial aid.
They still haven't said a word to her brother, and he's 31. It's pretty safe to say that they won't be heard from for a very long time (save for whem mom dies from cancer, which is slow, but inevitable - and if dad bothers to look us up to let her know, will probably lead to a VERY impressive fight). I know better than to stick my nose where it doesn't belong - and in the middle of the opening volleys of World War 4 isn't a place that it belongs.
FAFSA ties in pretty heavily with taxes, and this year's filings were inappropriate. Filing FAFSA against the information on the most recently filed taxes raises red flags and can lead to some big issues is they're caught.
Next time around, she has to tick "No, I'm not a dependent" and it's all good. Theoretically. I know a 24 year old who still can't get financial aid because his parent's income is still figured in.
BoomerD
No Lifer
Having worked a ton of OT in my life, I agree that it does get taxed very hard, but it still adds up at the end of the week, and what gets taxed, can come back in a tax refund...
While I kind of agree to just let her burn herself out, there are some concerns I see...does she have to drive to/from work? Being that tired and worn out makes for a very poor driver. As many or more accidents are caused by sleepy drivers than drunk drivers...THAT should be a concern to you both. PLUS, with her working her life away for the summer, that will take a heavy toll on the relationship, especially if you're not working, and once you go back, it wll likely not get better, because while you're off, presumably, you're taking care of some of the household chores that will still need to be done, but you're both to tired to do...Like Sampson, I wonder if she can't qualify for financial aid without her parents income being considered? If she's not living at home, and has no connection to them, they SHOULD take that into consideration for her grants.
You're in a lose/lose situation, because if you convince her to stop working so many hours, she'll hold that against you, and if you don't, then she'll be burned out, and may hold THAT against you...
While I kind of agree to just let her burn herself out, there are some concerns I see...does she have to drive to/from work? Being that tired and worn out makes for a very poor driver. As many or more accidents are caused by sleepy drivers than drunk drivers...THAT should be a concern to you both. PLUS, with her working her life away for the summer, that will take a heavy toll on the relationship, especially if you're not working, and once you go back, it wll likely not get better, because while you're off, presumably, you're taking care of some of the household chores that will still need to be done, but you're both to tired to do...Like Sampson, I wonder if she can't qualify for financial aid without her parents income being considered? If she's not living at home, and has no connection to them, they SHOULD take that into consideration for her grants.
You're in a lose/lose situation, because if you convince her to stop working so many hours, she'll hold that against you, and if you don't, then she'll be burned out, and may hold THAT against you...
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