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*update: Added to OP* anyone willing to read my "statement of purpose"

don't they teach kids simple sentences anymore?

never use contractions in formal writing.
 
Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Originally posted by: dNor
/facepalm
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Aww dNor you know you love us 😛
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I am pretty sure I got banned for giving out another member's email before. But I'm not sure. I do know that the 2 year statute of limitations has run out on pretty much everything now, so I should be good.
 
Originally posted by: ElFenix
don't they teach kids simple sentences anymore?

never use contractions in formal writing.
Click to expand...

it would be helpful if you could take 5 minutes of your time and point out which sentences should be revised
 
Originally posted by: Dear Summer
Originally posted by: ElFenix
don't they teach kids simple sentences anymore?

never use contractions in formal writing.
Click to expand...

it would be helpful if you could take 5 minutes of your time and point out which sentences should be revised
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just about all of them. you don't need complex and compound sentences. using them defocuses your reader.

is there a length limit?
 
Get rid of the first two paragraphs. They are irrelevant. The last paragraph is the purpose of why you want to attend the school. Start with that and expand it to 500 words or so.

edit: and to help you expand on the last paragraph

A - Intro Paragraph

[body]

1 - State what a product development manager is and why a master's degree is necessary.

2 - State what up to date tools the school will give you and how they will help you be a better product development manager.

3 - State why the school you are applying to is the correct one for you.

[/body]

B - Exit summary that ties your intro and the body together.


Do all of this in 500-750 words and you should have a solid statement of purpose.
 
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