That's funny. This is my favorite:
We let it burn for exactly 67 seconds. No more, no less because you do not want to let out the smoke that is inside the processors. If you let it roast for more than 67 seconds, the chip will crack and let out the smoke, and we all know that processors, or any electronic circuit for that matter, that let out the smoke will not work afterwards. So, at exactly 67 seconds we stomp the fire with our feet, and take the processor back inside. Gently brush off dust and dirt with a moistured cloth and let it dry off for a few minutes.