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Unexpected inheritance...
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Ichinisan
Lifer
Physically and psychologically unable. She has grown more and more eccentric as the years pass. I think she's certifiably crazy...just lacking the certificate! 😛
A friend called me today. He says that he saw my mother driving in traffic, digging in her nose and steering with her knees. He might be exaggerating, but I'm sure it was still an interesting scene.
Mo0o
Lifer
People who gamble dont expect to make money back (whne betting against the house), they just do it for amusement and if they happen to get money back, it's an added bonus. THey do it w/ their discretionary funds, just like anyone else would pay for a movie or vacation.
If you have CC debt, it's ridiculous that you're considering a business venture. Theres a bigger gamble in that than putting it on black.
Ichinisan
Lifer
I never did say that it was unmanageable. It's just a lot of debt between three people. Even if this money never came, I would be fine. I was only considering some possibilities. I was never looking for a gamble. I know nothing of this, so I asked. I got some solid advice to pay off the debt ASAP (though most of you were assuming that it was high-interest CC debt). I was considering the possibility that there might be a *safe* way to turn the money into an sustainable monthly profit, that would help to pay off debts faster than I currently am, and result in continued earnings after the debts are paid. I'm not exactly drowning here. It's not the finances that overwhelm me, it's the demand for my time and expertise, from everyone I associate with. I asked for advice, people said that there is (apparently) not a safe way to do this, so I'm not pursuing that idea any more. 'nuff said.
Also, MotionMan. Most of the debt is not credit card debt.
Yes, indeed, there is a lot of wisdom in chusteczka's description of an inheritance, but it doesn't apply to you in the way he and you think.
Please pay attention to the legion of native born Americans here telling you a MORE TIMELY WISDOM: PAY OFF YOUR DEBT FIRST.
chusteczka' right about an inheritance being "an investment to increase the quality of your life."
Invest in yourself, going forward.
Simultaneously paying off your (high interest, higher than you can relaibly make) debts AND cutting the chord of your Mother's interference, ever again, in your personal financial affairs, THIS is how you will best serve yourself AND your posterity.
This will be your inheritance. T
Thank your ancestors, they have truly given you this gift:
Freedom from foolish debt, free from your Mother's spending your money w/o your permission , poised to move forward, as a man.
silverpig
Lifer
I was going to suggest spending $200 of it on an appointment with a good accountant, but I suppose this'll do 🙂
Really though, I still suggest the meeting with an accountant/financial advisor. Bring your bank statements, your statements of debt, then talk about your goals for life (school? job? car?) and get them to help you out.
Therer's a lot of good advice here. Let me tell you a story.
2003 my mother passed away. I inherited $100,000 (taxes brought it to $83,000) of which I used $25000 to pay off debt, put $16,000 into my nephew's (Gladyly did it. didn't have kids, wasn't married, and it was my mother's dying wish.) college. Later that year I got married to my now wife, and we took a trip to Europe for a month in which we spent in excess of $13,000 dollars. I helped buy my stepdad a brand new toyota tacoma (i put in $8000.00 my sisters put in the other $16,000) and later in the year (2003) i bought my wife a new car as we were going to have a child. I whittled away the rest spending lavishly on stupid shit. Fast forward to 2008 and i have nil in the bank.
Point of the story?
Money goes fast when you don't know how to handle it. I was never good with money and never thought about putting t away for savings. I don't regret what i have done but don't make the same mistake i did. I really could use that money now, but i don't have it anymore i've had more emergencies than a hospital and now currently carry a little over $7,000 debt.
Pay off your debts first, then invest the rest. Do not think it's just money to spend freely because you'll soon find, that money turning into an empty bank account.
good luck.
2003 my mother passed away. I inherited $100,000 (taxes brought it to $83,000) of which I used $25000 to pay off debt, put $16,000 into my nephew's (Gladyly did it. didn't have kids, wasn't married, and it was my mother's dying wish.) college. Later that year I got married to my now wife, and we took a trip to Europe for a month in which we spent in excess of $13,000 dollars. I helped buy my stepdad a brand new toyota tacoma (i put in $8000.00 my sisters put in the other $16,000) and later in the year (2003) i bought my wife a new car as we were going to have a child. I whittled away the rest spending lavishly on stupid shit. Fast forward to 2008 and i have nil in the bank.
Point of the story?
Money goes fast when you don't know how to handle it. I was never good with money and never thought about putting t away for savings. I don't regret what i have done but don't make the same mistake i did. I really could use that money now, but i don't have it anymore i've had more emergencies than a hospital and now currently carry a little over $7,000 debt.
Pay off your debts first, then invest the rest. Do not think it's just money to spend freely because you'll soon find, that money turning into an empty bank account.
good luck.
MmmSkyscraper
Diamond Member
:thumbsup:
waggy
No Lifer
I have seen it happen a few times. My sister inheritied a lot of money and partied it away. now she is broke and busting her ass to just make min payments on her credit cards and mortgage.
a friend of my little brother (from big brother program not real brother) inherted like $500k and a house.
he purchased a Hummer (military one), a F350 king cab duel axel and a bunch of other stuff.
5 years later he still has the hummer but lost the house somehow. he is broke and begging people for a place to live (droped out of school. figured he was set for life).
onlyCOpunk
Platinum Member
If you can afford your current debt. IE make payments and still have enough to live, then leave your debts and invest your money wisely.
Think about it, if you pay off your debts, you'll just dig yourself into another hole. If you can manage your debt and invest the money, you will have it saved for a later date. And you never know when you will need it later in life.
Think about it, if you pay off your debts, you'll just dig yourself into another hole. If you can manage your debt and invest the money, you will have it saved for a later date. And you never know when you will need it later in life.
CZroe
Lifer
As Ichinisan's twin brother, I'm 12K of this and I just wanted to point out that:
#1: The debt referred to is our combined debt, most of which was accrued when taking care of our mother for years with promises (from her) that it would all be taken care of.
#2: The debt in Ichininsan's name is primarily student loans and zero-interest credit card balances. The debt in my name is more pressing, but much less.
#3: I've read in business magazines and other publications that you DO NOT pay off low-interest student loans at once. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I assume the 0% interest with negligible (no?) payments follows the same logic. [he is not required to pay anything monthly on the 0% transferred balance and only has to pay the $2 monthly minimum charges he is required to make in two transactions - this does not expire and he has maintained it for years]
We got in our "situation" because our mother throws money, both hers and ours, at our fleet of ancient cars instead of the debts she promised to take care of once she got her lump-sums of owed money from Social Security... she got them and blew it on the cars and now get's about $80 a month. Of course, she thinks it is "necessary" and believes that everyone else who refuses to spend thousands maintaining a $600 car is an idiot who doesn't know how much it costs to properly maintain a vehicle. She's never going to use anything but full synthetic oil and she's never going to admit that these old, falling-apart junk cars aren't worth maintaining.
She has paid $2,500 to have the engine rebuilt on a "totaled" 1993 Nissan that cost us $600 and never ran properly in the first place (bent axel, electrical problems). She continued to drive and maintain a 2000 Hyundai Elantra that was wrecked over a year ago because she is too stubborn to accept what the insurance company will give her for it just because they don't value the over-the-top maintenance costs she has invested in it. The driver door is smashed closed and the driver's seat has been broken from climbing over from the passenger side (as has the cup hold, center-console storage, etc). What does she do? She goes and pays someone to replace the drivers seat from a spare non-functional Hyundai that she also purchased for spare parts. It's down-right HILARIOUS to see her driving around town in that smashed undrivable car, but she not only does so, she takes it in for regular maintenance! The mechanics would laugh at her if it wasn't clear that she just throws money at them... they are they ones that told her the other car was totaled... see if they ever tell her THAT again! That $2,500 engine rebuild comes from a period when she spent over $9K on the cars over the summer and early fall. The third car is a '92 Oldsmobile with no radio, no seals on the windows, worn out motors in the door, blown fuel indicator, broken cruise control, and sputters out routinely after a cold start despite all the maintenance... IOW, the best car we have!
When we push back and try to stop her, we get an earful of how we and everyone else are irresponsible with their vehicle maintenance so, either way, we're either going to hear it from her or you guys. She long ago realized that she can't get away with it if we know first, so she does this stuff in secret. The Nissan broke down on me at work. The next day, I flew to San Diego to visit my sister and I heard by phone that the problem was not worth fixing ("totaled"). When I returned nearly two months later (I am considering a move to San Siego), she asked me to go pick it up. "I thought it was totaled?! How much did you spend on it?!" She was evasive and would only answer "it was worth it." I had to get sneaky to find out that she had received the second portion of her SS lump sum (~$9K) and decided to hide it from me by wasting it on the older cars. It's easier to lie about the maintenance costs of "totaled" older cars than it is to explain where the money came from for replacement vehicles.
Why would she do this? To keep me financially tied in supporting her so that I could not move to San Diego. Every scrap of it was supposed to be used to pay the debts we, as a family, have built up while supporting her exclusively over the last 8-years.
#1: The debt referred to is our combined debt, most of which was accrued when taking care of our mother for years with promises (from her) that it would all be taken care of.
#2: The debt in Ichininsan's name is primarily student loans and zero-interest credit card balances. The debt in my name is more pressing, but much less.
#3: I've read in business magazines and other publications that you DO NOT pay off low-interest student loans at once. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I assume the 0% interest with negligible (no?) payments follows the same logic. [he is not required to pay anything monthly on the 0% transferred balance and only has to pay the $2 monthly minimum charges he is required to make in two transactions - this does not expire and he has maintained it for years]
We got in our "situation" because our mother throws money, both hers and ours, at our fleet of ancient cars instead of the debts she promised to take care of once she got her lump-sums of owed money from Social Security... she got them and blew it on the cars and now get's about $80 a month. Of course, she thinks it is "necessary" and believes that everyone else who refuses to spend thousands maintaining a $600 car is an idiot who doesn't know how much it costs to properly maintain a vehicle. She's never going to use anything but full synthetic oil and she's never going to admit that these old, falling-apart junk cars aren't worth maintaining.
She has paid $2,500 to have the engine rebuilt on a "totaled" 1993 Nissan that cost us $600 and never ran properly in the first place (bent axel, electrical problems). She continued to drive and maintain a 2000 Hyundai Elantra that was wrecked over a year ago because she is too stubborn to accept what the insurance company will give her for it just because they don't value the over-the-top maintenance costs she has invested in it. The driver door is smashed closed and the driver's seat has been broken from climbing over from the passenger side (as has the cup hold, center-console storage, etc). What does she do? She goes and pays someone to replace the drivers seat from a spare non-functional Hyundai that she also purchased for spare parts. It's down-right HILARIOUS to see her driving around town in that smashed undrivable car, but she not only does so, she takes it in for regular maintenance! The mechanics would laugh at her if it wasn't clear that she just throws money at them... they are they ones that told her the other car was totaled... see if they ever tell her THAT again! That $2,500 engine rebuild comes from a period when she spent over $9K on the cars over the summer and early fall. The third car is a '92 Oldsmobile with no radio, no seals on the windows, worn out motors in the door, blown fuel indicator, broken cruise control, and sputters out routinely after a cold start despite all the maintenance... IOW, the best car we have!
When we push back and try to stop her, we get an earful of how we and everyone else are irresponsible with their vehicle maintenance so, either way, we're either going to hear it from her or you guys. She long ago realized that she can't get away with it if we know first, so she does this stuff in secret. The Nissan broke down on me at work. The next day, I flew to San Diego to visit my sister and I heard by phone that the problem was not worth fixing ("totaled"). When I returned nearly two months later (I am considering a move to San Siego), she asked me to go pick it up. "I thought it was totaled?! How much did you spend on it?!" She was evasive and would only answer "it was worth it." I had to get sneaky to find out that she had received the second portion of her SS lump sum (~$9K) and decided to hide it from me by wasting it on the older cars. It's easier to lie about the maintenance costs of "totaled" older cars than it is to explain where the money came from for replacement vehicles.
Why would she do this? To keep me financially tied in supporting her so that I could not move to San Diego. Every scrap of it was supposed to be used to pay the debts we, as a family, have built up while supporting her exclusively over the last 8-years.
spittledip
Diamond Member
pay. off. debt.
MotionMan
Lifer
Sounds like your mother needs a conservator.
You may want to go talk to the owner of the car shop to discuss the possibility that they are taking advantage of your mother and that the licensing board (or whatever it is called in your state/county/city) and that DA may be interested in whether they do this as a normal business practice (For example, financial elder abuse is a serious business in my state).
Even more pressing is that you two need to cut her off from accessing your money. If you do not want to cut her off completely, you need to buy her the things she needs rather than giving her money to spend as she sees fit (which she obvioulsy cannot do rationally).
MotionMan
CZroe
Lifer
Yes, certainly good advice. We have actually looked into getting legal custody of her when it becomes necessary and it is unbelievable that we haven't taken the first step of cutting her access off, but we are rectifying this. The people at the shop are "so nice" and I never hear the end of it. She is always bringing them gifts and talking about their families. She seems to have some obsession with them, but I don't really think they are taking advantage of her. They told her the car was totaled, so it is really her being stubborn.
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