Understanding the Arbitrary

[cbrunny]

How do you cope with/understand things that are so arbitrary they defy explanation? Or have such lackluster, poor explanations that defy logic, and yet the result is enforced?

I struggle with this, in a big way. If something that I really care about or impacts my life significantly and can't be explained or the explanation is full of holes and clearly insufficient, it drives me crazy. Am I alone?

 

[Schfifty Five]

How do you cope with/understand things that are so arbitrary they defy explanation? Or have such lackluster, poor explanations that defy logic, and yet the result is enforced?

I struggle with this, in a big way. If something that I really care about or impacts my life significantly and can't be explained or the explanation is full of holes and clearly insufficient, it drives me crazy. Am I alone?

Please provide an example, you crazy person you.

 

[IronWing]

Most people simply build a religion around seemingly arbitrary events so they don't have to think about them anymore. That and substance abuse.

 

[cbrunny]

Current example:

I recently applied for a job to supplement what I currently do. There were 26 positions available, and while I knew I would not be the most qualified candidate, I knew that I have met the requirements for the position (and then some), while having well-respected experience in the field at the same institution. A colleague who does not work in the field and has weaker qualifications
than I do (I know this, because her and I compared resumes prior to submitting) received two of these 26 postings, while I received zero.

Arbitrary garbage. Hiring based on friendship/relationship needs to be illegal.

My parents would make arbitrary rules when I was a youth and would enforce them even when they knew they were wrong. That drove me crazy. Probably the reason why I don't cope well with it now.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Your example doesn't appear arbitrary to me.

 

[xanis]

Your example doesn't appear arbitrary to me.

This. The decision to hire the other person wasn't arbitrary, it was based on her knowing someone and having a connection.

My parents would make arbitrary rules when I was a youth and would enforce them even when they knew they were wrong. That drove me crazy. Probably the reason why I don't cope well with it now.

Parents don't always make the right choices, but they likely had reasons, even if they were a bad ones.

 

[Jaepheth]

This. The decision to hire the other person wasn't arbitrary, it was based on her knowing someone and having a connection.

Or theirs was the first remotely qualified resume pulled from the pile...

Or they're a more correct age/gender/race...

or they're just cheaper.


EDIT: Oh, missed where he implied it was due to knowing the person.
Shouldn't be illegal, because knowing someone means that their qualifications are more to you than just claims on a piece of paper. So get out there and NETWORK! And I don't mean that LinkedIn bullshit.

Networking >> Education

 

[poofyhairguy]

How do you cope with/understand things that are so arbitrary they defy explanation? Or have such lackluster, poor explanations that defy logic, and yet the result is enforced?

Because I said so, thats why!!!

 

[GagHalfrunt]

The fact that people don't want to hire you is not arbitrary. Your writing skills are lacking, you could interview poorly and perhaps your pissy "poor little me" attitude leads to bad recommendations from the references on your resume.

 

[KeithP]

How do you cope with/understand things that are so arbitrary they defy explanation?

Such things don't exist so I don't have to cope with them.

-KeithP

 

[Kadarin]

Become a nihilist and embrace the arbitrary.

 

[cbrunny]

The fact that people don't want to hire you is not arbitrary. Your writing skills are lacking, you could interview poorly and perhaps your pissy "poor little me" attitude leads to bad recommendations from the references on your resume.

My writing skills are lacking? Care to elaborate? I hardly think that how one write in a forum is any indication of formal writing skill.

Also, there were no interviews for the position, and I had originally posted here about arbitrary crap. The example is just one. I'm substantially less concerned with the example than I am with my reaction towards arbitrary things in general. Hence why I titled this thread as I did, instead of "Why oh why didn't I get this job boo freaking hoo"

 

[sixone]

How do you cope with/understand things that are so arbitrary they defy explanation? Or have such lackluster, poor explanations that defy logic, and yet the result is enforced?

I ignore it, most of the time, unless it's something worth dying for (figuratively speaking, of course).

It's simply impossible to have any respect people who behave in the way you describe. As long as such people don't impede my activities, they're easy to ignore.

 

[rudeguy]

You need to learn the 2 magic words:

"Fuck it"

If you can't control it, its not worth worrying about. At some point you just have to say fuck it and leave it at that. Focusing on it or even thinking about it is pointless.


Oh...and go pee on your coworker's car door handle. That will make you feel a lot better.

 

[Jaepheth]

sometimes arbitrary decisions are necessary in order to move forward with whatever process is going on.

Time is always a factor and the value of an immediate, even random decision can be greater than a fully reasoned decision later.

It can also be that someone went with their "gut"; that is, their brain did a massively parallel cost-benefit analysis on the fly and they may not be consciously aware of all the variables used in the process.

There can also be ulterior motives that no one's willing to admit to.

Decision by committee can be all of the above to the Nth degree.

In short, an arbitrary decision has a reason, that reason may be unavailable, or just unavailable to you. Don't sweat it, work around it, or work to change it if you have the influence.

 

[tokie]

I just don't care.

Learn to move on.

 

[Pray To Jesus]

Hiring based on friendship/relationship needs to be illegal.

You don't seem like a good candidate. Not a good team player.

 

[edro]

Show up to work anyway. They will appreciate the dedication.
Even when the police try to arrest you, just keep working.

 

[Fenixgoon]

Please provide an example, you crazy person you.

assault weapon. go.

</troll>

 

[surfsatwerk]

Your situation isn't arbitrary.