JulesMaximus
No Lifer
So, I do cable installation work for Time Warner in NYC and I get called out to this apartment some hipster doofus lives in with a lesbian and two other girls. Anyway, the roommates weren’t there when I got there, just the hipster doofus. He was some doughy nerdy guy who thought he was a player but in reality he probably just spends his time on the internet jerking off to porn all day. But I digress, in order to run the phone line I had to move his bed but I don’t think he remembered that he had a huge dildo under it with what looked like pubic hair and feces on it. He must have been shoving it up his rectum when one of his roommates walked in because it looked like he just threw it under the bed and forgot it was there. He turned beat red and started yammering on about how this was his lesbian roommate’s room and not his but it was pretty clear he was lying what with all the Star Wars posters on the walls, the action figures and the computer hutch over in the corner with soda cans and pizza boxes all over the place. It’s okay buddy, this is NYC, I’ve seen it all, we even have a mayor who can turn gay women straight.
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