Uh-Oh.....I need advice on *gulp* engagement rings...

[Zee]

overstock.com

 

[alkemyst]

DiamondTalk, Like AT for Diamonds and gems.

 

[richardycc]

Originally posted by: Zebo

Originally posted by: richardycc
dude, I dont mean to sound like an as$, just being a realist. How can one start a family with only 9$/hr income? unless she is making a lot more money than you do.

Well you certainly did a swell job of it

1. where does he say he plans to start a family?
2. He lives in Va probably rural where $9 an hour aint bad, not like starting out not in California or someplace.
3. Young.
4. Maybe his girl also makes $9 that's 18 thats above median family income for USA.
5. I was unemployed college student an so was wife to be when married. times changed. income changed.
6. Pretty sad dissing the dude for his income level already, more so when he's already worried about this expense.

1. maybe family is a wrong word to use, but the fact that he is living with her gf, he is already in a "family." you dont need to have a kid, and a dog to fit the definition of a "family."

2. a car payment for a DECENT car would cost ~200$/month no matter where you live. yes, He could be driving a sh1tbox, but if he is spending $500 on a ring, and drive a car that is worth 100$, then something is wrong.
4. assuming she will say yes. she might realize that this guy might not be able to fulfill her dreams financially. who knows.
5. exactly, income change, he should get her a $25 ring, if she still say yes, she is a keeper, and save the money for rainy days ahead.
6. not dissing at all, just keeping it real.


rich

 

[blurredvision]

Ok, I've been checking out some of the sites you guys have given, and I must say, I'm overtaken by the prices of diamonds. I really had no idea that my $500 tag wouldn't be enough.

My questions now . I assumed at first I would be getting a diamond, but it's open now. What kinds of other stones are often looked at for engagement rings? Also, I hope to save a little more money than $500, and I have no credit to get a better diamond.

Also, I read some of the article about cultured (ie man-made) diamonds. Where can I check some of these out? Aren't they a little cheaper? IMO, cultured diamonds are still real diamonds. I rule out any kind of CZ. I don't want to be cheap to the woman I love .

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: bozack

Originally posted by: richardycc
dude, I dont mean to sound like an as$, just being a realist. How can one start a family with only 9$/hr income? unless she is making a lot more money than you do.

This is going somewhat off topic but....just because he is proposing now does not mean that he has immediate plans to marry...I know plenty of people who are engaged for years before they set the actual date...

Yeah, on Oct. 31, I'll have been engaged for a year and I'm only making $10/hr. and I'm still in school. We don't plan to marry until I graduate and we've decided where to live without one of us having an horrible commute for work.

 

[blurredvision]

WHEN she says yes , we will definitely not be getting married even within the next year. 2005 at the earliest even.

 

[Norrlands]

Man made diamonds are not going to be much cheaper than a mined diamond. For the money you have to spend, you can either get a small (under quarter carat) diamond, or look for alternative stone. Most other gems in your price range will be synthetic or simulated. CZ might be the way to go. If you get a good one, she will never know it is not real, nor will anyone else looking at it (unless they have a 10x loupe). Get a CZ for now, save some more money over the next couple years, then spend the money on a diamond (2 year anniv. gift or something).

 

[PlasticJesus]

My wife and I were engaged for less than a week before we got married. The cost of her engagement ring and wedding band together was $120. Just another one of those things I've always been thankful for. Seven years later she remains satisfied. One day I'll get her something a lot nicer, not because she demands it or expects it, but because I want her to have it.

The places in the malls that would offer an 8th grader credit sell crap. I agree with the family owned business suggestions. They would be more likely to educate you on exactly what you are getting.

If $500 is what you've got, then that's what you've got. If $500 is all you have and you spend all of it, then maybe you've done better than the guy making $75,000 year who spends just $12,000 of it on a ring.

 

[Geekbabe]

If she really loves you she'll say yes without a ring and she'll want you to save that $500 in case of an emergency or something

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
If she really loves you she'll say yes without a ring and she'll want you to save that $500 in case of an emergency or something

yep, thats the truth.
if you want to get her something to "symbolize" the proposal, get her a charm necklace, or something special that can hold the meaning just as much as a diamond ring.
especailly if you are gonna wait a few years to get married anyways.

 

[miri]

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: richardycc


1. maybe family is a wrong word to use, but the fact that he is living with her gf, he is already in a "family." you dont need to have a kid, and a dog to fit the definition of a "family."

2. a car payment for a DECENT car would cost ~200$/month no matter where you live. yes, He could be driving a sh1tbox, but if he is spending $500 on a ring, and drive a car that is worth 100$, then something is wrong.
3. Young (was deleted)
4. assuming she will say yes. she might realize that this guy might not be able to fulfill her dreams financially. who knows.
5. exactly, income change, he should get her a $25 ring, if she still say yes, she is a keeper, and save the money for rainy days ahead.
6. not dissing at all, just keeping it real.

rich

Are you like my idiot friend who said you don't leave home until you got $500k in the bank, and have a $100k somewhatever brand corinthian leather couch ready to be delivered and a $10k per month manhatten apartment opening??? He ended up with a nice apartment though, somehow getting a lease on zero income two blocks from the WTC the day before the crisis hit....then he has some how managed Red Cross and all the other charities/aids to outfit him in designer items, a new G5 Mac, a ton of wireless stuff that conflicts with each other, all this IKEA type furniture, etc....

1. You get out and you make it on your own....people only say you can't because they don't want to invalidate the reason they live at home.
2. You don't have to have a car payment....in some areas you don't even need a car. Even with a payment, I have had nice cars that my payment was less than $200. Also many may have cars they purchased already perhaps while living at home.
3. Young...people are always talking about how 18 and 19 year old are children and crap (I am 32 by the way so I am not some 18 year old trying to defend himself). Fact is, those born from until perhaps the late 1980's, were born to women in their early 20's...people born in the early 1970's like myself had mother's sometimes not even 21.
4. her dreams financially? the woman who's priority is financial security in a marriage I would not want. This is called 'gold digging'. Sure many are happy with such a wife and the other term for that is "trophy wife". There are many marriages like this and if that 'daddy warbucks' thinks his wife is not out screwing just about every young stud in the area 'while she is at the club or spa', he's utterly clueless.
5. $500 for a ring I think is a reasonable purchase for him. He has the budget set, and it's a once in a lifetime purchase. There is a thing called sentimental value....I know of very few 'real' women that would even think of upgrading their e-ring. However, many will allow their husbands to buy them a solitare pendant or anniversary band to show more 'value'...of course their are many women that start talking upgrades the next week after the engagement

I have even known one woman (marriage is now over) that had her father upgrade the diamond for her the next day or something (it was the same week at least)...they eventually married, but he divorced since no matter what he did, she always brought her dad (and his money) over to redo it as soon as he left.
6. Real is moving out, getting your OWN place and making it or not. You do things like eating noodles only sometimes, or sell off that nice video card and stick back in the TNT one....or perhaps get a used tire from a junkyard to hold you over until next month, etc. Most people today think REAL is moving out into a 2,000 sq. foot garden apartment, 10 mins from work, with a Mercedes and Hummer in the $500 per month parking spaces, that their company picks up the tab for.

To put my life in perspective.....bought my wife then a $750 ring (worth more, but working in the bank I got information on a guy being foreclosed on and going in to bankruptcy)....3/8 carat (.42) G/SI1....then married at 22, moved with wife (18) to Gainesville, after selling my Mustang GT for school money so I wouldn't have to work, and keeping her Honda Accord (both paid off), do my last two years, come back and with savings previously from working in a bank part-time about 20 hours a week and doing chinese food delivery at night during my Junior College days....buy a house with $40k down.....live in it and put another $20k into improvements, divorce...decided I was way more financially stabile than her so let her sell the house, and I took on the debts, and left her with all the furnishings except 1 PC and my home audio/video gear most of which I had before we married.

5 years later decide to go back to school for Computer Science and the job market dies.....take the debt I am still paying some on $4k is left (there was over $50k in debts between school and her insanity getting every CC and buying anything she wanted) add on $238 in school loans now per month, and take my middle 5 figure salary and divide in almost half.....I am not making that much more than $9/hr really and even with my burdens I have found (surprisingly) I can afford a nice but low cost apartment, broadband, dish TV, my credit bills, my loans, car insurance for my wife and I, food, electric, gas, a little entertainment each week, my close to $100 cell phone bill due to needing a national calling plan for working, and the phone bill. My wife's pay check is not even needed...she pays for her own gas, insurance/cancer, and cell. Even without her money though and counting about $1000 I am paying this month for our final INS meeting/interview (she is japanese and going for her green card), I should be able to save about $1400 by Christmas, again without taking a dime from her paychecks....($1400 isn't a lot don't get me wrong, one major engine failure or whatever could knock that down quick...but the point is it's doable and without an extra income).

 

[blurredvision]

Originally posted by: WoodchuckCharlie
Ok, I've been checking out some of the sites you guys have given, and I must say, I'm overtaken by the prices of diamonds. I really had no idea that my $500 tag wouldn't be enough.

My questions now . I assumed at first I would be getting a diamond, but it's open now. What kinds of other stones are often looked at for engagement rings? Also, I hope to save a little more money than $500, and I have no credit to get a better diamond.

Anybody with any suggestions on a nice stone besides a diamond that I can look at? I'm completely clueless about this stuff.

 

[Alchemist99]

I would stick with the a Diamond it's just a very heavy tradition. Didn't you see those 1/3 ct on BlueNile? they even had some that were almost 1/2 a ct. If you want me to help pick out a nice one just pm me

 

[blurredvision]

Originally posted by: Alchemist99
I would stick with the a Diamond it's just a very heavy tradition. Didn't you see those 1/3 ct on BlueNile? they even had some that were almost 1/2 a ct. If you want me to help pick out a nice one just pm me

You have PM .

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: flot
Woodchuck, the "going rate" for an engagement ring is approximately 2 *months* of *your* salary.

So if hypothetically you made $50,000 the going rate for an engagement ring is somewhere in the $6000-$10,000 range.

Don't beat your self up about it, but $9 an hour is $18k a year... it would not be unreasonable for you to buy a $1000-$1500 ring.

And while I'm sure that $$ may strike you as somewhat absurd, I had the (friendly) argument with my gf the other day that I thought $15,000 was a bit much for an engagement ring. She disagreed.

Go figure.

people in general have total misconceptions about diamonds. They shop for carat and get a crappy rock.

I paid right under $2k for my last e-ring ing 1999 (first one was $750 in 1992?)... about 3/4 carat (.71 actually...all the even fractions carry a premium and you can probably go up a few tenths and be cheaper like 1.01 instead of 1.00 carat)....

Now that $2k bought a diamond that the appraiser thought hurt other 'retail' chains for being such a low price. I bought from Cory at MidWestGems.com. It was D in color, EGA certed with great proportions, clarity was vs1, princess cut. Now absolutely any time we had it cleaned people looked at it...the thing sparkled.

Round perfect cuts sparkle even more.

Now my brother is pulling in about $120k just in salary, not counting profit from the cisco business he has on the side that I work for, nor his side projects....He spent between 10 and 15k and the damn rock is huge....these people saying you need to spend a fortune are clueless...and are buying into the pricing of the 80's where 1 carat was about $50k, now about $5k.

Go hunt around on DiamondTalk.Com....my name is alkemyst there too, haven't posted in a few months, but I will be there soon as I am married now and we don't even have bands....yet alone a diamond. We both got laid off from the same company (how we started dating) and now to get her citizenship here is expensive, I got to plop down $1k tomorrow for the last lawyer visit.

Now I will give you: http://www.gemappraisers.com/chartFrameset.htm

First read that page....these are all the important things of a diamond most jewellers won't tell you. Most jewellers sell in the 3B range or worse...sometimes 3A. Higher end stores will get into 2B....for Rounds some will carry the premium 1A-B range at a high price markup.

Now the 4'C's, this is usually all most people consider and that's a big mistake....we are conditioned to think that below is all that's important, because you can have a crappy cut, polished, non-brilliant/fiery D-FL-1.00-Round diamond by the 4C's this is a perfect stone....however it will look dead.

Clarity....for a size under 1 carat I'd go SI2 or better....anything at that range or better will require a 10x magnifier to see any flaw. Now for a 1 carat or larger you may be ok with SI2...but some say they can detect the light difference even when they can't see the flaw in this size stone. These people may also claim they can read differences in audio patch cables so YMMV. I could not recommend better than VS1 unless it's close in price or the stone is very large.

Color.....D E F are like glass G H very close and much cheaper....I J sometimes work esp if set in yellow gold anyway (this will cast yellow into the stone no matter how colorless it is). Dont go lower at K L really show yellow.

Cut.....The shape really but check out gem appraisers for the right measurements....most stone cutters cut for weight (carat) and face size.

Carat.....goes without saying....however many times you can increase the size slightly and save money..... 0.26/0.27 stones are cheaper than the perfect 0.25 usually, same with 0.51/0.52 vs. the perfect 0.50 half carat....at all even carats you can save by going slightly up usually or by going slightly down and still getting the look.

I know quite a bit for a layman feel free to PM or email me for more discussion anyone.