ughhh. My evening sucks.

[DrPizza]

I haven't even had lunch yet today, and it's 10:17pm - waiting for another phone call.
I have a sick goat. Prolapsed rectum.
Called the vet. That resulted in a trip to the grocery store for:
1 tube KY Jelly, 1 tube preparation H. "It's not for me." It could have been worse, I could have looked at the cashier and said, "it's for a goat" and left it at that.

And I still haven't succeeded in getting the stupid thing back inside. Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night. :thumbsdown:
This is one of those days where it's not fun to raise animals.

 

[BigJ]

Should've bought a large squash too.

 

[Megatomic]

:shocked: One of the rednecks I work with talked about one of his neighbor's goats having a prolapsed rectum. It was a victim of rape believe it or not. Sick motherfvckers...

 

[mobobuff]

Gooooooo!

How far is it protruding? *shivers*

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I haven't even had lunch yet today, and it's 10:17pm - waiting for another phone call.
I have a sick goat. Prolapsed rectum.
Called the vet. That resulted in a trip to the grocery store for:
1 tube KY Jelly, 1 tube preparation H. "It's not for me." It could have been worse, I could have looked at the cashier and said, "it's for a goat" and left it at that.
And I still haven't succeeded in getting the stupid thing back inside. Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night. :thumbsdown:
This is one of those days where it's not fun to raise animals.

At least your sense of humor is still intact, and yes that would have earned you some interesting looks.

 

[FoBoT]

that is real love for your animal, without opposable thumbs, it doesn't have much chance of getting that back in on its own

 

[Alistar7]

Originally posted by: Megatomic
:shocked: One of the rednecks I work with talked about one of his neighbor's goats having a prolapsed rectum. It was a victim of rape believe it or not. Sick motherfvckers...

Pfft, That wasn't rape that goat asked for it, enjoyed it, and just felt guilty afterwards.

 

[iamwiz82]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
that is real love for your animal, without opposable thumbs, it doesn't have much chance of getting that back in on its own

Sure there is, it's called a shampoo bottle. "Million to one shot doc!"

 

[Farang]

Reminds me of my strangest grocery store combination. A plunger, condoms, and a rack of pork ribs at 9am. And the cashier ended up being a friend's girlfriend who I'd just met so it was a bit awkward.

 

[mjrpes3]

Yes, a prolapsed rectum is goat-speak for "thank you".

 

[SmoochyTX]

Did you buy a six-pack of beer too?

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I haven't even had lunch yet today, and it's 10:17pm - waiting for another phone call.
I have a sick goat. Prolapsed rectum.
Called the vet. That resulted in a trip to the grocery store for:
1 tube KY Jelly, 1 tube preparation H. "It's not for me." It could have been worse, I could have looked at the cashier and said, "it's for a goat" and left it at that.

And I still haven't succeeded in getting the stupid thing back inside. Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night. :thumbsdown:
This is one of those days where it's not fun to raise animals.

Well see, with the cashier, you could have given the whole story: "It's not for me, it's for a goat. I need to fondle its rectum all night."


I wonder what animals make of all this unusual treatment they get. Cows get hands shoved in various orifices, male showhorses mate with a fake "horse" that has no head (as seen on Dirty Jobs), female showhorses get impregnated by, if memory serves, a person reaching in with a gloved hand to perform the artifical (manual?) insemination. Goats apparently get rectal fondling.

Oh well......at any rate, hopefully the goat will be alright. I hope everything goes in ok. (You know, as opposed to everything coming out ok, seems that's happened already.)

Megatomic, I...where.....yeah, where do you work? I'm not sure I want to know though.....


Hehe, and I noticed the other line:

Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night.

It might be just what the goat wanted though.

 

[OdiN]

okay I'm sorry....but I would have just shot it.

 

[CraKaJaX]

This reminds me of the "worst combination you can think of to buy?" thread. :laugh:

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: BigJ
Should've bought a large squash too.

Might as well throw a pack of cigarettes in there as well.

 

[Regs]

And if you can make a tape recording of all the sounds, please.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: BigJ
Should've bought a large squash too.

Might as well throw a pack of cigarettes in there as well.

For DrPizza or the goat?

Originally posted by: Regs
And if you can make a tape recording of all the sounds, please.

I think they're fainting goats, so you might not hear much besides the thud of it hitting the ground.

"Baa-aah, oooh, my butt hurts. Hey, what's he doing back there? (snap) Oh no, was that a rubber glove? *BAD TOUCH!*"
(faints)



(Might I just say, I don't think I'm ever going to own livestock unless I somehow get a six-digit salary, with which I can afford to have a vet make a house call.)

 

[mooglemania85]

TTIWW.... err, nevermind. EWWWWW!

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Originally posted by: mooglemania85
TTIWWGoatse.cx

I agree.

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: OdiN
okay I'm sorry....but I would have just shot it.

Too valuable. I wasn't successful last night; the vet will be making a housecall today. Hopefully it doesn't require much.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I haven't even had lunch yet today, and it's 10:17pm - waiting for another phone call.
I have a sick goat. Prolapsed rectum.
Called the vet. That resulted in a trip to the grocery store for:
1 tube KY Jelly, 1 tube preparation H. "It's not for me." It could have been worse, I could have looked at the cashier and said, "it's for a goat" and left it at that.

And I still haven't succeeded in getting the stupid thing back inside. Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night. :thumbsdown:
This is one of those days where it's not fun to raise animals.

oh man... there is a lot of humor there, even though the poor goat doesn't see it.

 

[DrPizza]

update, for what it's worth..

I failed at getting the rectum back inside the goat. The vet made a visit yesterday morning to our house. He had trouble too. I guess the goat had to be sedated, then the procedure ultimately required a few stitches. (How would you like your butt stitched half shut?) She looked rather uncomfortable yesterday, but today, seemed 100% like her normal self. I can't wait to see the vet bill...

Oh, and one of the other goats had 2 babies born during the night. Up to 37 now
Patrick
Tucker
Scotty
Ahmand
Droopy
Gruff
Skye
Priscilla
Mattie
Del
Bosco
Markus
Annie
Onyx
Donny aka Idaho
Marie (They're fainting goats... last 2 named the day after Marie (of Donny & Marie) fainted during a performance.)
Dorrie
Sandy
Blossom
Dot
Ginger
Cinnamon
Pennie
Pattie
Dusty
Valentine
Rasberry
Squiggy
Brianna
Arielle
Star (aka Mini-moo (looks like a cow))
Lizzy
Blue Bonnet
Pillsbury
Heart
Brianna's baby boy
Brianna's baby girl

26 more babies due in March.

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: DrPizza
I haven't even had lunch yet today, and it's 10:17pm - waiting for another phone call.
I have a sick goat. Prolapsed rectum.
Called the vet. That resulted in a trip to the grocery store for:
1 tube KY Jelly, 1 tube preparation H. "It's not for me." It could have been worse, I could have looked at the cashier and said, "it's for a goat" and left it at that.

And I still haven't succeeded in getting the stupid thing back inside. Just what I wanted to do - fondle a goat's rectum all night. :thumbsdown:
This is one of those days where it's not fun to raise animals.

You should have casually asked if the cashier had any plans after work. I'm sure his/her reaction would have been priceless.

 

[Squisher]

So, you're sticking to the story that the KY Jelly and Prep-H was for the goat?

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: mooglemania85
You should have casually asked if the cashier had any plans after work. I'm sure his/her reaction would have been priceless.

You have no idea how relieved I was when none of my students were cashiers that night. Earlier tonight, there were 3 registers open when I stopped in for some groceries for dinner. All 3 of those cashiers are in my physics class. 4 of the stockboys who were working tonight are also in my classes.

It can be pretty weird when your own students are ringing you up, especially if it's a Tuesday night and you're picking up a 6 pack of beer and some snacks or something like that.