Two jerks in one day...

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
I am confused. The first part is a parody. The second part is....simply fail?

if you didn't catch the second part, the fail is you.

I figured my fan club would be here as well for encouragment.

 

[Turin39789]

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman
Fail

 

[CraKaJaX]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I LOL'd.
:thumbsup:

:laugh:

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I suppose I can try that now since you got the prescription for stronger preperation H.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I suppose I can try that now since you got the prescription for stronger preperation H.

Hey, I'm not the one getting into catfights with sweaty trannies in some third rate, one bench gym. :laugh:

 

[ViviTheMage]

geez, you should have just swapped your gfs alternator for her. It is easiness.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I suppose I can try that now since you got the prescription for stronger preperation H.

Hey, I'm not the one getting into catfights with sweaty trannies in some third rate, one bench gym. :laugh:

I am a victim of my environment.

 

[ericb]

Weak...made worse by the lack of research since Curves is female only.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: ericb
Weak...made worse by the lack of research since Curves is female only.

LEARN TO READ! The guy is pre-op and apparently he's classified as a woman.

I was just picking up my g/f, not working out there when this dude gets all crazy.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I suppose I can try that now since you got the prescription for stronger preperation H.

How does implying that you have buttsex with Perknose HELP your case?:laugh:

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
Å

what's with the weird A? quit trying to be fancy.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
May day started showing up late for a test. It's something the class can form teams on and work together.

There is this guy in the class (I should have known better) that I think thinks he is Rambo or Chuck Norris. He has gun erasers, gun shirts, even draws guns in class...anyway I get in late and ask how much time we get? and he yells out "YOU'RE NOT IN OUR GROUP, SO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!"...then he adds in "NEENER NEENER NEENER" and points his fingers at me like a gun and fires a couple times.

Hopefully we don't have another columbine....

So I get a call from my g/f to come pick her up at Curves because they had to tow her car due to the alternator dying.

I get there and there is a guy working out...he seems a little strange with wrist bands and a headband on, plus those 70's style soccer shorts. He has a pile of stuff under the one bench they have in the area, something about "Richard Simmons: My Life, My Love" on the cover of his training log.

So he does three reps with the arm weights while roaring like a madman and goes and gets water again, then flexes again in the mirror yelling "I WILL BE JUST LIKE YOU RICHARD!" and comes back and does another three reps. We want to go, and my girl wants to get her abs in. The guy isn't getting it and anything she goes to start he runs back and jumps on the bench.

I had enough so I put my foot up on it to keep him from jumping back on it shoving her out of the way...it goes like this:

'Richard': You going to clean that for me?
me: Huh? When to you think you will be done? Can she work in a set of abs?
'Richard': You going to clean this bench for me?
me: Why? it's your sweat all over the freaking thing, don't you have a towel?
'Richard': I AIR DRY BABY <flexes at me>
my gf: Honey, let's go...we had an incident with this guy a few weeks ago..
'Richard': ( dripping heavy sarcasm dickhead attitude picks up his Richard Simmons book and points to the cover) YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS!
Me: Easy tiger, go back to your sweating to the oldies...
'Richard': (as he is wiping down the bench, same shitty attitude) YEAH TIME TO SWEAT! CAN SOMEONE TURN ON THE OLDIES...HELLO! STATION PLEASE! HEEEELLLLLOOOOO!
Me: wow just wow

damn we bailed. Apparently this guy is pre-op so they have to let him workout there to whatever fuked up laws they have now.

Hopefully today is better.

Å

Things will get better once you move up to high school. Maybe.

 

[Jugernot]

Can't say that I believe a word of that....

 

[zinfamous]

The irony, is that it was 3 jerks...

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Perknose
Sigh. Just two jerks and you ejaculate prematurely all over OT.

Have you considered some densensitizing cream?

I suppose I can try that now since you got the prescription for stronger preperation H.

How does implying that you have buttsex with Perknose HELP your case?:laugh:

i figured since it worked for you to get onboard the train.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Things will get better once you move up to high school. Maybe.

can you put a good word in for me there? I always see you here too in your "Free Candy' van.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Jugernot
Can't say that I believe a word of that....

others should learn from you. They won't though.

 

[Oil]

Parody(s) :thumbsdown:
Responses :thumbsup:

ATOT delivers!

 

[LtPage1]

LOL I got like 2/3 of the way down before I realized it was a parody. 12/10 I laughed for like 2 minutes straight.

 

[BudAshes]

WTF Tranny richard simmons attack?

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Things will get better once you move up to high school. Maybe.

can you put a good word in for me there? I always see you here too in your "Free Candy' van.

All of the teachers at my old high school have probably retired by now. I could write a letter of recommendation to the principal as a former graduate, but I doubt that even my influence and charisma could encourage them to accept a mediocre student such as yourself.

They might be able to make room for you in their "Special Needs" classes. Students tend to function better when grouped together with their peers, or so I have read.

I don't drive a van, you must have mistaken someone else for me.

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: ViviTheMage
geez, you should have just swapped your gfs alternator for her. It is easiness.

Was it beef sized?

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven

Things will get better once you move up to high school. Maybe.

can you put a good word in for me there? I always see you here too in your "Free Candy' van.

All of the teachers at my old high school have probably retired by now. I could write a letter of recommendation to the principal as a former graduate, but I doubt that even my influence and charisma could encourage them to accept a mediocre student such as yourself.

They might be able to make room for you in their "Special Needs" classes. Students tend to function better when grouped together with their peers, or so I have read.

I don't drive a van, you must have mistaken someone else for me.

So let me get this straight, all of your teachers have retired but you are still in high school

Dude you realize you can get a driver's license based on age, not grade right. Maybe the guy that drives your van can teach you.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: BudAshes
WTF Tranny richard simmons attack?

they are almost ninja like.

 

[summit]

i thought it was actually funny. the comments are even better. alkemyst quit being such a puss and refuse to wipe.