Trying to help GF with Debt issues

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TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
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Sell the car
Stop paying on the cards
Close Accounts
Get second & third jobs
Bank money until you can reach a settlment with card companies.

She's not bankrupt.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
Get second & third jobs
Bank money until you can reach a settlment with card companies.

I think this is backwards. If you have second and third jobs, your yearly income is much higher and the debtors will tell you to go fuck yourself. If your income is only 20k, they'll be a lot more willing to take whatever they can get. After they've agreed to lower the interest, THEN you get second and third jobs ;)
 

the DRIZZLE

Platinum Member
Sep 6, 2007
2,956
1
81
Whether or not it makes sense to declare bankruptcy depends on whether she has any chance to make real money in the next few years. 20k is not a lot of debt and not worth trashing her credit over if she can actually make a real salary. If she has no prospects for making more than 20k, then debt is the least of her problems.
 

TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
91
I think this is backwards. If you have second and third jobs, your yearly income is much higher and the debtors will tell you to go fuck yourself. If your income is only 20k, they'll be a lot more willing to take whatever they can get. After they've agreed to lower the interest, THEN you get second and third jobs ;)

You don't have to tell them you have more income...
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
You don't have to tell them you have more income...
Try to avoid lying as much as possible. If your income is 30k and you sign a legal document officially stating that your income is only 20k, you can get in very deep trouble for doing that.
 

ThePresence

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
27,727
16
81
I don't know man. I live in a relatively inexpensive city and there's still no way this could happen. She has $20,000 debt, simple interest of 30% would be $6000 interest per year. That's about $500 per month just for the interest, as you've already stated. Let's look at the monthly budget.

$20,000 per year is $1,666 per month:
-$700 to rent a studio/bachelor apartment in the ghetto
-$200 for food, soap, toilet paper, etc
-$500 interest payment
-$50 phone bill (good luck living without a telephone)
-$84 bus pass (that's what they cost in my city, but it's cheaper than a car)
=$132 to pay off the debt

Let's just keep it simple and ignore a few factors. $20,000 debt / $132 payment = 151 months. That's 12 years to pay off the debt. Fuck this bullshit. File for bankruptcy and call it a day.

You're ignoring her income tax witholdings.
She probably brings home less than $1,500.
 

Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
I don't know man. I live in a relatively inexpensive city and there's still no way this could happen. She has $20,000 debt, simple interest of 30% would be $6000 interest per year. That's about $500 per month just for the interest, as you've already stated. Let's look at the monthly budget.

$20,000 per year is $1,666 per month:
-$700 to rent a studio/bachelor apartment in the ghetto
-$200 for food, soap, toilet paper, etc
-$500 interest payment
-$50 phone bill (good luck living without a telephone)
-$84 bus pass (that's what they cost in my city, but it's cheaper than a car)
=$132 to pay off the debt

Let's just keep it simple and ignore a few factors. $20,000 debt / $132 payment = 151 months. That's 12 years to pay off the debt. Fuck this bullshit. File for bankruptcy and call it a day.

If she moves in with the OP, her living expenses would be greatly reduced, allowing her to pay-off her cc debts without filing for bankruptcy.
 

SMOGZINN

Lifer
Jun 17, 2005
14,359
4,640
136
You're ignoring her income tax witholdings.
She probably brings home less than $1,500.

Her take home should be around $1415.00, which makes paying off debt at your numbers impossible.

If she moves in with the OP, her living expenses would be greatly reduced, allowing her to pay-off her cc debts without filing for bankruptcy.

That would make it just possible for her to pay off the debt in 7 years, of course there is no incidentals budgeted into this. So, if her shoes wear out sometime in the next 7 years, she just has to go barefoot. Since she is almost certainly hourly, if she gets sick and misses a day of work, she has to not eat for several days to make up for it.
More realistically, I've have never met anyone that could live with out at least a $50 a month incidental expense fund. Some think they can, but those are the ones that go into debt they can't pay off.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
If she moves in with the OP, her living expenses would be greatly reduced, allowing her to pay-off her cc debts without filing for bankruptcy.

Then they become "common law" and the OP is legally responsible for her debt. DO NOT DO THIS. Seriously.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
that doesn't happen over night.
You become common law after 6 or 9 months, it varies. A standard lease agreement is 12 months. If you live with a woman, you're basically married to her.

When the government begins to recognize gay marriage, you won't even be able to have room mates. That douchebag guy who spends all his money on comic books will claim you and him are gay lovers and that you are legally responsible for paying his credit card bills. Damn!
 

blinblue

Senior member
Jul 7, 2006
889
0
76
Probably the most important factor is does she want to get out of debt. Even if you manage to help her work through the debt and get it all paid off, if she doesn't have the motivation and skills required to work on a very tight budget, because making her kind of money, she needs to really stay on top of things not to go into debt again.

So assuming she's motivation to get out of debt, you need some sort of written plan. The bulk of that would be a written budget. Figure out exactly how much she has coming in, make sure her withholdings are correct so she gets all her money now and doesn't get a tax refund (she'll owe very little federal income tax given how little she makes). She'll need to cut her lifestyle to absolutely nothing (sounds like its already pretty close to that).

And given these numbers, probably the most important thing is to get some extra income. Doesn't need to be fancy, just needs to bring in some money.

More information than is given would be required to come up with a more detailed plan. But the bottom line is she really needs to want to get out of debt if its going to happen (and to stay out of debt afterwards).

If you need some help convincing her to go crazy and get rid of the debt, or if you are having trouble coming up with a good plan, I'd recommend Dave Ramsey's book (Total Money Makeover). Certainly isn't right for everyone (and people can debate endlessly about some of his points), but its a good starting place and it might help her get motivated.




You become common law after 6 or 9 months, it varies. A standard lease agreement is 12 months. If you live with a woman, you're basically married to her.

When the government begins to recognize gay marriage, you won't even be able to have room mates. That douchebag guy who spends all his money on comic books will claim you and him are gay lovers and that you are legally responsible for paying his credit card bills. Damn!

I am very skeptical about this. In fact, I'm 99.99% sure this is incorrect. Her name is on those debts, OP's name is NOT. Even if OP legally married her, he would not be liable for those debts. Only her assets (or any joint assets) are on the line.
 
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Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
You become common law after 6 or 9 months, it varies. A standard lease agreement is 12 months. If you live with a woman, you're basically married to her.

When the government begins to recognize gay marriage, you won't even be able to have room mates. That douchebag guy who spends all his money on comic books will claim you and him are gay lovers and that you are legally responsible for paying his credit card bills. Damn!

Incorrect. Varies from state to state and is never that early.
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
You become common law after 6 or 9 months, it varies. A standard lease agreement is 12 months. If you live with a woman, you're basically married to her.

When the government begins to recognize gay marriage, you won't even be able to have room mates. That douchebag guy who spends all his money on comic books will claim you and him are gay lovers and that you are legally responsible for paying his credit card bills. Damn!

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li0ad3sLHQ1qgknz4.png
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
If you need some help convincing her to go crazy and get rid of the debt, or if you are having trouble coming up with a good plan, I'd recommend Dave Ramsey's book (Total Money Makeover). Certainly isn't right for everyone (and people can debate endlessly about some of his points), but its a good starting place and it might help her get motivated.
I remember seeing this annoying commercial on TV that was a list of government programs to give you free money.
matthew1.gif

http://www.leskobooks.com/

It might be worth checking out. It's surprising how much free shit the government gives out. Knowing what you're looking for and where to find it is a good start. There are grants for child care, food stamps, rent subsidies, phone subsidies, utilities, and various other things. In addition to lowering debt, free money is always nice.


I am very skeptical about this. In fact, I'm 99.99% sure this is incorrect. Her name is on those debts, OP's name is NOT. Even if OP legally married her, he would not be liable for those debts. Only her assets (or any joint assets) are on the line.
You're not responsible for that initial debt but you'll be responsible for every piece of debt that comes after that. If she breaks her foot and needs surgery while you are living together, that debt is now your debt. If she didn't already have debt, it wouldn't be a problem. She pays for her own broken foot and it's not a big deal. Since she already has a bunch of debt and she can't pay for shit like that when it happens, it's suddenly your problem.
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,026
4,651
126
$20,000 per year is $1,666 per month:
-$700 to rent a studio/bachelor apartment in the ghetto
-$200 for food, soap, toilet paper, etc
-$500 interest payment
-$50 phone bill (good luck living without a telephone)
-$84 bus pass (that's what they cost in my city, but it's cheaper than a car)
=$132 to pay off the debt

Let's just keep it simple and ignore a few factors. $20,000 debt / $132 payment = 151 months. That's 12 years to pay off the debt. Fuck this bullshit. File for bankruptcy and call it a day.
I'm basing it off of the OP's first post "but she is able to afford an amount per month to pay it off within 2 years if there was no interest". Until he says otherwise, I have to assume she can afford $833/month of payments.

1) $700/month rent isn't an inexpensive city. The median apartment in the US is $600 and they go far cheaper than that in many locations. Add in a roomate and it isn't too hard to get down to $300/month in almost all locations. There are exceptions though (southern CA or New York city for example).

2) That is an expensive bus pass, they are $10/month here. But then, the busses don't run past 6 pm so they are nearly useless.

3) The $500/month number will drop each month as the payments are made and the principal drops.

But, using your numbers, if she had $500 + $132 per month, that is a total of $632. At 30% interest, it'll be paid off in 5.3 years, not 12 years if she paid $632 per month. Your math was off.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
Incorrect. Varies from state to state and is never that early.
Lots of states don't even put clear definitions on how long people need to live together.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common...or_the_establishment_of_a_common-law_marriage

Look how wishy washy some of these are:
Alabama

A valid common law marriage exists when there is capacity to enter into a marriage, the man and woman must be at least 16 with legal parental consent and present agreement or consent to be husband and wife, public recognition of the existence of the marriage, and consummation.[1]
So you're legally married if you both:
-are of legal age (check)
-can legally marry (check)
-appear to be a couple (check)
-have sex (hopefully check)

The part about publicly appearing as a married couple is the sketchy part and it's usually based on time, but how long is long enough? My girlfriend's parents only knew each other for a few months before they got married. A girl I dated a couple years ago got married after less than a year of dating, and they didn't even live together immediately after getting married. If you can present as a legally married couple after knowing each other for about 3 months and not even live in the same house afterward then what does it look like when two people live in the same 1 bedroom apartment for maybe 1 or 2 years straight? You look married, this person could claim you are common law married, and then you're fucked. Do not live with this person!!
 

TwiceOver

Lifer
Dec 20, 2002
13,544
44
91
Try to avoid lying as much as possible. If your income is 30k and you sign a legal document officially stating that your income is only 20k, you can get in very deep trouble for doing that.

You aren't lying if they don't ask. I highly doubt they ask how much you are making and force you to sign any paperwork to that effect. More likely they see you haven't paid your bill in 12+ months and will take what they can get, or sue you if they think they can get more.

Also I've never seen common law marriages enforced except when the wife (gold digger) wants Palimony.
 
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IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Lots of states don't even put clear definitions on how long people need to live together.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common...or_the_establishment_of_a_common-law_marriage

Look how wishy washy some of these are:

So you're legally married if you both:
-are of legal age (check)
-can legally marry (check)
-appear to be a couple (check)
-have sex (hopefully check)

The part about publicly appearing as a married couple is the sketchy part and it's usually based on time, but how long is long enough? My girlfriend's parents only knew each other for a few months before they got married. A girl I dated a couple years ago got married after less than a year of dating, and they didn't even live together immediately after getting married. If you can present as a legally married couple after knowing each other for about 3 months and not even live in the same house afterward then what does it look like when two people live in the same 1 bedroom apartment for maybe 1 or 2 years straight? You look married, this person could claim you are common law married, and then you're fucked. Do not live with this person!!

So she can't balance a check book but she is going to fight an up hill common law battle in court. lulz.
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
You aren't lying if they don't ask. I highly doubt they ask how much you are making and force you to sign any paperwork to that effect. More likely they see you haven't paid your bill in 12+ months and will take what they can get, or sue you if they think they can get more.
The ironic part is that you probably have more negotiating power if you don't pay ANY money at all for a very long time. As long you keep making minimum payments, they'll say "well you seem to be doing ok paying the minimum, so what's the big deal? :awe:"


Also I've never seen common law marriages enforced except when the wife (gold digger) wants Palimony.
What makes you think that can't happen in this case? Financially desperate woman catches her boyfriend sleeping with her sister. It's go time. Take him to the cleaners :p
 

ShawnD1

Lifer
May 24, 2003
15,987
2
81
So she can't balance a check book but she is going to fight an up hill common law battle in court. lulz.

If you read the OP, you'll see that she clearly can balance a checkbook. She currently is making the minimum payments and isn't falling behind. That's something not everyone can do :thumbsup:
 

LookBehindYou

Platinum Member
Dec 23, 2010
2,412
1
81
Has she considered stripping?

I think it was established she works for McDonalds or In and Out Burger or some other fast food place. Whichever fast food place she works at, it rules out her stripping because she is probably fat.

Now if she can find a fat gentlemans club, where they enjoy fat strippers, then she'd probably be set and could make the 20k in no time.
 

Wizlem

Member
Jun 2, 2010
94
0
66
You become common law after 6 or 9 months, it varies. A standard lease agreement is 12 months. If you live with a woman, you're basically married to her.

When the government begins to recognize gay marriage, you won't even be able to have room mates. That douchebag guy who spends all his money on comic books will claim you and him are gay lovers and that you are legally responsible for paying his credit card bills. Damn!

I think common law gay marriage is possible in Iowa.
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
I think it was established she works for McDonalds or In and Out Burger or some other fast food place. Whichever fast food place she works at, it rules out her stripping because she is probably fat.

Now if she can find a fat gentlemans club, where they enjoy fat strippers, then she'd probably be set and could make the 20k in no time.

There are fatty fetishes out there, alternately she could look into webcam shows. They make bank.