trying so hard not to break down at work- 2nd update

[slightlyhuman]

god, never knew it would be this hard. fvck, i seriously wonder if God can punish me anymore right now. ive lost 2 friends in the past 2 months, 2 more got in a wreck this past weekend, one in coma, one not expected to make it. plus i just threw in the towel from a relationship, first everything, ill get over her, trust me im not gonna sit here and bore you guys to death with it because its not worth your time or mine. ive never felt this much pressure in life and im prolly not even making since but i have things going through my head a million miles per hour. i have a fan in my office keeping the tears off my cheeks.

well i honestly did love her but for now its not going to work out, mainly her fault but weve both messed up so nonone is really to blame. i wanna scream and cry so bad just to let these feelings get out of my mind.


fuck why does this have to happen on a monday, a weekend would be so much easier





UPDATE

well went on a date last night with a girl I know through a friend of mine, we also goto the same college. she is 21 and and is a nice looking girl. we went to the movies(friday night lights ++), then got something to eat, then we went a park and walked around for about an hour and sat on the playground and i beat her at a game of tic tac toe. we talked the entire time, never a dull moment. she told me she has never dated anyone younger than her so i was kinda worried but we hit it off great. there was a pavillion with a bunch of stuff about me and summer(ex) that i carved in exactly a year ago. i am getting over her alot better than i thought i would have although it still hurts sometimes to think about me and her. summer also called me saturday night while i was at a party with a few guys i knew. she was leaving a party and wanted to see me, i told her i was drinking and didnt have a vehicle to drive. "well i really wanted to see you but fvck that idea". didnt see her and dont understand why she wanted to see me so badly.

all in all i had a great time with the girl and she said she wanted a rematch, if i was up for it. things are looking up for a change.



CLIFF NOTES
i havent been on a date in almost 3 years
go on date after ending said relationship
goes very well even though she is older but seems to be ok with it
summer calls saturday night wanting to see me and got mad when she couldnt
girl wants to go on another date

exactly a week ago at 1230 central i was very depressed, im feeling completely opposite of that as of now.:beer:



2ND UPDATE-
Went on the 3rd date with the older girl. man im like amazed by her. i know its alawys like that when you like someone or start dating someone new but its wierd. we kinda felt wierd at first before we kissed on the 2nd date, but after that first kiss we felt so comfortable with each other. we both have commented on having sex but we also said why the rush so that tells me if this girl can satisfy me with just kissing me, thats awesome to me. now that summer(the ex) found out she was getting played, shes been calling me lately just trying to talk. she always calls me late at night or early like this morning at 630am. she even wanted to stop by the house last night and see me but i was out with Candace(new girl). her parents like me alot and they are really cool folks, same with mine and candace.

i think what summer is calling me for is this reason, when she had someone to mess with a week ago or so, she didnt really talk to me and she even knew about me and Candace going out but it didnt bother her, now that she really doesnt have anyone at this moment, she is paranoid of the fact that im happy while shes not. i love it

pics to come, i just found my camera recently, been lost for a week or so.


man i never knew it would get this good this quick. :beer: cubed

 

[amish]

well...i'm not good at this, but...good luck

drink :beer:
eat s
smoke :green;
and hope not too many :trolls; come

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Call someone, and go have dinner... anyone. Don't allow yourself to be alone. It only makes things worse. Also, avoid alcohol.

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: amish
well...i'm not good at this, but...good luck

drink :beer:
eat s
smoke :green;
and hope not too many :trolls; come

Don't drink beer. Eat cookies. Weed might be ok, depending on where you are from

 

[CPA]

get the hell out of work for a couple of days.

 

[slightlyhuman]

does anyone know if at&t would allow me to change my number?
i need to lose all contact with her. i honestly cant believe how much chaos can start in one day after spending 2.8 years with her.

any help would be great

 

[kranky]

Man, that is a lot to deal with in two months. You have every right to feel badly. I'd suggest you take a couple days off - call in sick if you have to. You need a little time to decompress. That said, you shouldn't stay focused on the negatives. Is there someone you can talk to to let off some steam?

No one ever thinks it's going to be that hard, but with a three-year relationship it's not going to be something you just shrug off in an hour.

 

[slightlyhuman]

i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

 

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

But, that might be what you need. Holding back the tears might make things much more painful. Do you have a church or a pastor where you could go and talk through your thoughts - even if it means crying 90% of the way through it?

 

[tfinch2]

you should take the rest of the day off. i think you should cry just to let it out...don't hold your feelings back. then try to have fun again.

 

[kranky]

Talk to someone after you get out of work. And if you cry, you cry. Nothing wrong with that. Or go home, cry for a while, and then talk to someone.

You need someone to let you vent.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Well, at least you have your work and hopefully your health. Time will help but you'll just have to grieve for as long as it takes. One day in the future though you will wake up and as you go about your business it will hit you that things aren't looking so bad anymore. Trust me, this day will come.

Good luck.

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

Maybe that is what you need to do. Go cry. I did it all the time for a while. It is a natural response.

 

[welst10]

I feel your pain, bro. I've had breakups from long term relationship too. I know it's very very tough, hopeless is a better word, for the first 1-2 weeks. But you will get thru.

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

But, that might be what you need. Holding back the tears might make things much more painful. Do you have a church or a pastor where you could go and talk through your thoughts - even if it means crying 90% of the way through it?

well i ride with my dad to work on m-w-f and we work 25 min from home so i doubt he can leave too, i cant believe im getting out words to make a readible sentence, see the thing is, girls arent a problem for me, just getting over here in order to get used to "other" girls is going to be hard.

when you spend most of your first experiences with someone over 2+ years and talk about alot of shit, its hard,never knew it would be this hard. i know im young and all, i understand that but jsut the duration it takes to get over it is going to kill me, i knew it was happening soon last night leaving her house i honestly look at ditch after ditch just wanting to hit one and test my fate and see if immeant to live o rnot, thats so stupid but im sorry its hard not to think about it.



<3

ps- can anyone answer me about the changing cell number?

 

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: derrickperry

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

But, that might be what you need. Holding back the tears might make things much more painful. Do you have a church or a pastor where you could go and talk through your thoughts - even if it means crying 90% of the way through it?

well i ride with my dad to work on m-w-f and we work 25 min from home so i doubt he can leave too, i cant believe im getting out words to make a readible sentence, see the thing is, girls arent a problem for me, just getting over here in order to get used to "other" girls is going to be hard.

when you spend most of your first experiences with someone over 2+ years and talk about alot of shit, its hard,never knew it would be this hard. i know im young and all, i understand that but jsut the duration it takes to get over it is going to kill me, i knew it was happening soon last night leaving her house i honestly look at ditch after ditch just wanting to hit one and test my fate and see if immeant to live o rnot, thats so stupid but im sorry its hard not to think about it.



M3

ps- can anyone answer me about the changing cell number?

It sounds like you are experiencing some suicide idealation. You really need to talk through this with a professional. Looking at ditches like that is truly not a good thing.

 

[pyonir]

You should be able to change your number, call up AT&amp;T and do it. It might cost you a surcharge though...i'm not sure.

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

Maybe that is what you need to do. Go cry. I did it all the time for a while. It is a natural response.

i know i have to let it out, but i cant at work, a business has no emotions, plus my dad is my boss so everythnig i do reflects on him.

 

[bootymac]

Definitely find someone to hang out with; being along will make things a lot worst. Or go home and vent like crazy. Cry yourself to sleep or something. You'll feel a lot better afterwards.

Good luck man

edit: I've had those days where everything seems to be wrong and agaisnt you, and you just want to scream and get everything off your chest. The best solution is to scream and let everything out

 

[slightlyhuman]

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

But, that might be what you need. Holding back the tears might make things much more painful. Do you have a church or a pastor where you could go and talk through your thoughts - even if it means crying 90% of the way through it?

well i ride with my dad to work on m-w-f and we work 25 min from home so i doubt he can leave too, i cant believe im getting out words to make a readible sentence, see the thing is, girls arent a problem for me, just getting over here in order to get used to "other" girls is going to be hard.

when you spend most of your first experiences with someone over 2+ years and talk about alot of shit, its hard,never knew it would be this hard. i know im young and all, i understand that but jsut the duration it takes to get over it is going to kill me, i knew it was happening soon last night leaving her house i honestly look at ditch after ditch just wanting to hit one and test my fate and see if immeant to live o rnot, thats so stupid but im sorry its hard not to think about it.



M3

ps- can anyone answer me about the changing cell number?

It sounds like you are experiencing some suicide idealation. You really need to talk through this with a professional. Looking at ditches like that is truly not a good thing.

while it looks like it, the only reason that keeps me from it is my family, i cant do that to anyone, ive been through to many times,(three people i know shot them selves within the past year)

i wont off my self although if something happens out of my hands i wont argue with it. please dont worry about the suicide part as that can get out of hand quick on these forums, i just wish i could disappear for a week or two, man i love new mexico, hope to live there on day, wish i was there walking through the woods.



thx for the words guys, i never thought a forum thread could help me fight tears, i really apprieciate it

 

[Bumrush99]

How old are you? It is important for us to know to put everything in to context. Screw work today, if your boss can't understand what you are going through then he doesn't deserve to have you as an employee. The breaking up part is difficult, but losing nearly 4 people to death in a 2 month period can be looked down upon.

 

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: derrickperry

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry

Originally posted by: Tiles2Tech

Originally posted by: derrickperry
i cant really talk to anyone because of two reasons, all i will do is cry and be unable to get one word out. and if i talk to loudly people are below me and hear everything. im sorry to drag this sh1t out on a forum but the keyboard is my only means of getting emotions out right now.


im gritting my fcking teeth holding the tears back

But, that might be what you need. Holding back the tears might make things much more painful. Do you have a church or a pastor where you could go and talk through your thoughts - even if it means crying 90% of the way through it?

well i ride with my dad to work on m-w-f and we work 25 min from home so i doubt he can leave too, i cant believe im getting out words to make a readible sentence, see the thing is, girls arent a problem for me, just getting over here in order to get used to "other" girls is going to be hard.

when you spend most of your first experiences with someone over 2+ years and talk about alot of shit, its hard,never knew it would be this hard. i know im young and all, i understand that but jsut the duration it takes to get over it is going to kill me, i knew it was happening soon last night leaving her house i honestly look at ditch after ditch just wanting to hit one and test my fate and see if immeant to live o rnot, thats so stupid but im sorry its hard not to think about it.



M3

ps- can anyone answer me about the changing cell number?

It sounds like you are experiencing some suicide idealation. You really need to talk through this with a professional. Looking at ditches like that is truly not a good thing.

while it looks like it, the only reason that keeps me from it is my family, i cant do that to anyone, ive been through to many times,(three people i know shot them selves within the past year)

i wont off my self although if something happens out of my hands i wont argue with it. please dont worry about the suicide part as that can get out of hand quick on these forums, i just wish i could disappear for a week or two, man i love new mexico, hope to live there on day, wish i was there walking through the woods.



thx for the words guys, i never thought a forum thread could help me fight tears, i really apprieciate it

Since your father is your boss, you really should talk to him about a little time off. Clearly, as you are feeling, you will not be very productive. Clearing your mind will bring you back stronger.

 

[PanzerIV]

Definitely call in sick tomorrow, DP. You really need to get a good cry out of your system and having all this on your plate at one time is not going to improve your productivity at work anyway. Our words won't help you but it's true that it's always darkest before the dawn so you will, as literally millions upon millions have done, get through this.

Someday you will be able to smile again over the good times. Don't think of it as the end, think of it as a new beginning!

 

[rh71]

2 words... KEEP BUSY. I don't care if it's work or sports or poker. Do it. Don't mope.

 

[packmule]

Good Luck..