training a friend @ work

[brainhulk]

cliffs
have to train friend at work
friend is an arrogant prick, that doesn't want to be trained
friend screws up repeatedly, gives up

This coworker is actually a friend of mine that just finished school 1 year ago. He got a job with us right out of school. I put in a good word for him with my manager to hire him.

I had the fortune to train him along with 2 other new hires. Other 2 grads were very timid and scared. So I took a lot of time training them, trying to tell them little things I do to make work go smoothly. My friend ends up being THAT hotshot guy that thinks he knows everything out of school. He was consistently trying to shoehorn the stuff he learned in school into practice. He interrupts me as I'm going through my schpeal that I tell all the new grads where did I learn all this stuff, they don't teach this in school blah blah blah. I said I learned on the job. So he brushes me off and walks away saying ok, I will too. I really had it then and said fuck it I'm not teaching him anymore.

So I let him go not really fully training him, let him find out on his own the hard way. For the other 2, training was really never done. I'm always teaching them new things whenever something comes up. But my friend, I left alone. On cases that i would routinedly provide critique for the other 2, I would not say a word to the hotshot.

As expected he is soon struggling, making blunders at work. He maintained that arrogance despite all the errors he was making and never asked for help. Really infuriating.

I find out yesterday, about a little over a year since he came to us he is resigning and going somewhere else. He is also under investigation for repeated dosing and monitoring lapses.

Did I sabotage him? was I subconsciously fearful that he would surpass me? Normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass about someone with an attitude like that, but he's a cool guy outside of work.

 

[guyver01]

Yes. You subconciously made him into a douche nozzle.

 

[nublikescake]

Common sense and decency require that you show gratitude towards a friend who helped you get a job and to respect him and give him his rights as someone who's more experienced than you. But your friend appears to be ....well an "arrogant prick".

I my short but useful experience, I've found more people tend to be ungrateful and not deserving of the sympathy that decent people feel the need to express towards these ungrateful morons. Instead of considering it a favor and respecting you for it, they tend to think wrongly that they would've gotten the position anyway since they're so qualified for it when in fact, they most likely wouldn't have been able to get squat even if they'd given it their all.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

What line of work OP? If you don't mind.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

No, he is just an ass. I have a friend who is similar and I've mentioned him in a few threads before. He was the one going around and telling people he was the only "true" IT person in the company and was in the top 10% of programmers WORLDWIDE. Long story short, at my last company, he blamed all of us for a major production issue and it turned out he made a rookie mistake that no true "top" programmer would make. I'm convinced that's why he left.

A few months ago, he mentioned me putting in a good word for him at my current employer for a possible position. The guy is really funny and pretty cool, but there is absolutely zero chance I would ever put my reputation on the line for him especially considering the antics he pulled at the subsequent places he worked. Even if he were unemployed for months on end, I'd just refer him to a headhunter. I just laughed and changed the subject but there is a decent chance he may hit me up in the future and if he does, I will have to tell him no.

I'd advise you to use this as a learning experience and if the time ever comes when he wants to use you again as a reference to get on at your company, just don't do it. Because while your current manager may not hold this against you, it is a pretty embarrassing situation for you.

 

[olds]

You were tasked to train him and you failed. You should be fired.

 

[Nik]

YOU are setting him up to fail by slacking in your training. It doesn't matter how irritated you get with him, you always always always continue to train. If your higher ups have tasked you with training these three, then do your job.

Set an example for him. Show him what being professional is. Show management that you are willing to continue to do your job through hardships and difficult coworkers.

Don't prove yourself to be just as much of a failure employee as he is.

 

[Numenorean]

Cool blog post bro.

 

[TecHNooB]

YOU are setting him up to fail by slacking in your training. It doesn't matter how irritated you get with him, you always always always continue to train. If your higher ups have tasked you with training these three, then do your job.

Set an example for him. Show him what being professional is. Show management that you are willing to continue to do your job through hardships and difficult coworkers.

Don't prove yourself to be just as much of a failure employee as he is.

:hmm:

 

[classy]

Well what do you do? If you let him loose knowing he wasn't ready the you failed. What dosing did he lapse from, this sounds very serious.

 

[Farang]

Sounds like you were not authoritative enough, which might have been difficult because he is your friend. You seemed to have been passive aggressive in how you handled the situation. Instead of directly confronting him about his inability to take instruction, you said to yourself 'fine, I won't tell him, let him figure it out himself.'

Avoid getting friends jobs in the future, its usually a bad idea.

 

[Imp]

I don't get why you're still using the word "friend" considering the clear disdain you have for him, which he probably deserves.

Otherwise, they asked you to train him, if it wasn't working, tell your boss to get someone else to do it.

Oh, and ya, getting friends a job just because you're friends is a no-no. I have a bunch of acuqaintances, some friends whom I would vouch for because they are good. I also have a bunch of acquaintances/friends that I would vouch against.

 

[Nik]

I don't get why you're still using the word "friend" considering the clear disdain you have for him, which he probably deserves.

If you drop someone's "friendship" at the first sign of trouble, you're not a friend.

Otherwise, they asked you to train him, if it wasn't working, tell your boss to get someone else to do it.

Oh, and ya, getting friends a job just because you're friends is a no-no. I have a bunch of acuqaintances, some friends whom I would vouch for because they are good. I also have a bunch of acquaintances/friends that I would vouch against.

That last paragraph is pretty important.

When you vouch for someone, OP, or put in a good word, that person's performance will directly reflect on YOU. I can understand sticking your neck out for a friend, but why you'd put yourself in that compromising situation in the business world to begin with is absolutely beyond me.

 

[xSauronx]

YOU are setting him up to fail by slacking in your training. It doesn't matter how irritated you get with him, you always always always continue to train. If your higher ups have tasked you with training these three, then do your job.

Set an example for him. Show him what being professional is. Show management that you are willing to continue to do your job through hardships and difficult coworkers.

Don't prove yourself to be just as much of a failure employee as he is.

this is true i think....but i was wondering what he expected if this guy was a friend of his. he didnt know the guy was going to be an asshat? the hell?