Total Transformation program for defiant children???

[nanette1985]

My kids learned a lot about how to manipulate their parents from those programs. Think about it. If behavior modification works on kids, it's gonna work on adults too.

 

[redgtxdi]

No you're not. It's not a physical thing. It's a respect thing. If it becomes physical, call the police.

"Mr. Officer, my daughter won't let me pick her up off the ground."

You have the ability to make her life very unpleasant, like Texas said. No phone, computer, tv, designer clothes, $$, favorite foods/eating out,......Call a professional and get an educated/experienced answer. And get recomendations because they all aren't the same.

Been there, done that. Though admittedly, not all at the same time. Wellbutrin & Trazadone FTMFW. (fail)

Bonus for me, the wife is a fam/marriage counselor. Convinced me that the bark collar wasn't the best way.:sneaky:

Maybe *she* needs the bark collar?

Edit: Source in spot on. She has a door? Watch some of the re-runs of the show where the really bad kids are sent to live with strict parents.

Pfft. This is the girl who, at 4 yrs old, got kicked out of preschool for kicking a teacher! (you can't make this sh!t up). At the new private school, she was told at 7 that if her attitude didn't improve, she'd go to the local military/boarding school. She asked if we could check the place out so she could see her new bed.

She'd pwn the pu$$ified @$$es of most of the male AT elect here & hand them the shortage of testosterone that they fail to make on a daily basis for good measure.

 

[BladeVenom]

Maybe *she* needs the bark collar?

If it works on dogs...

 

[ichy]

Have you tried beating her?

 

[Modelworks]

Parenting fail. I see this a lot whenever the parents raised the kid trying to be their friend rather than a parent. The kid wasn't born the way they are acting, it is totally learned behavior taught by the parents.

 

[Gibsons]

 

[highland145]

^^^^
LOL

 

[Yourself]

Parenting fail. I see this a lot whenever the parents raised the kid trying to be their friend rather than a parent. The kid wasn't born the way they are acting, it is totally learned behavior taught by the parents.

You have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Let's leave it at that...

 

[Raizinman]

Once a child realizes that they are in charge, no program will work. Once an ex-spouse or a friend enlightens a child to why they are in charge and can have anything they want, no program will work. A child is in charge because you cannot really force them to do anything. You cannot force them to go to school, medical doctor, take their meds, go to church, get properly dressed or pretty much anything else if they don’t want to. Though this happens more in divorced families, the child is informed that they don’t have to listen to you, and not only that, they can demand a cell phone, Ipod, or pretty much anything they want. Why do you have to comply? They will make a claim that you hit them claiming any bruise on their body is what you did. You will be immediately arrested and child protective services will be in your house. It will cost you thousands to get out of this mess, not to mention loss of friends, family, neighbors, and likely job too. If this happens a few times, you will not get your kids back and they will be placed outside the family. You will be charged with paying child support and it will cost you many more thousands to ever get your kid back. Often this happens in divorce and one parent will just tell the child this information. Courts don’t really care what you think as you are now the child abuser and who believes them.

 

[Mixolydian]

They will make a claim that you hit them claiming any bruise on their body is what you did. You will be immediately arrested and child protective services will be in your house. It will cost you thousands to get out of this mess, not to mention loss of friends, family, neighbors, and likely job too. If this happens a few times, you will not get your kids back and they will be placed outside the family. You will be charged with paying child support and it will cost you many more thousands to ever get your kid back. Often this happens in divorce and one parent will just tell the child this information. Courts don’t really care what you think as you are now the child abuser and who believes them.

I'd say "Good riddance" to a child like that.

 

[rasczak]

It's called a belt. Works wonders if needed.

 

[ichy]

They will make a claim that you hit them claiming any bruise on their body is what you did.

Hitting your kids isn't illegal.

 

[LurkerPrime]

Well first things first, take her door off the hinges. Privacy in your house isn't a right, its an earned privelage. Second if she wants to sit in the dark in her room all the time, pull the breaker for the room. Third get a lock for the pantry and/or fridge. Only let her eat ramen or tuna, while you still have good food all the time. Also as my parents used to tell me and my brothers: "go ahead, call the police or protective services, I guarentee you the home they will stick you in will be much much worse than this one. If you dont want to live here, go ahead and pack your stuff, I'll call them myself." Those things and the occasional ass wooping kept me and my 2 brothers in check.

 

[blackdogdeek]

Hitting your kids isn't illegal.

it's totally illegal for you to hit his kids.

 

[Yourself]

it's totally illegal for you to hit his kids.

no it's not...wait...I see what you did there.

Well played

 

[sourceninja]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n82h52MkxUU

 

[Raizinman]

Hitting your kids isn't illegal.

Not only is hitting your child illegal, many smaller issues are too. Pulling his/her hair. Pinching. Grabbing his arm so tight as to cause a dime size bruise. Grabbing his shirt so tight to cause a small bruise. Restricting food to cause a belly ache. Giving alcohol or tabacco products. Once again, the courts and child protective services have moved the power from the parents to the children. This is why there are so many spoiled children. They realize they are in charge and can have anything they want. Otherwise, you go to jail.

 

[Spungo]

Anywhoo...............I think I'm gonna give that Amazon book a look.

For an example of what we're dealing with.....(15yr old girl).....

"But they're MY grades!!" (D is a D is a D. Colleges ain't lookin for D students)

The magic words are "I am very disappointed. I thought you were better than this."
Keep in mind this is an extremely hurtful thing to say. Saying it too often and saying it for small things will destroy their self esteem and she'll end up being really slutty just to get approval from men.

\Social media is a biggie lately. She uses facebook to hop to instagram to hop to twitter, etc. We keep telling her we need to follow her if she's gonna do that otherwise a few nude photos, curse words and choice libel and grandma & grandpa are calling wonder what the F's going on with our daughter.

Try setting less strict boundries. Right now you're saying no nude photos. How about change that to say you can't send out nude photos that included any identifying marks like your face or scars or tattoos.
There are quite a few nudes of me floating around in the clouds somewhere but none of them show my face

 

[wirednuts]

Want to know what I would do, take "everything" out of her bedroom. The only thing should be a mattress on the floor, and that is it.

Outline a set of duties. When she preforms the duties, she gets her stuff back.

im going to guess you have had little interaction with 15 year old girls. treating them like captive sex slaves that you dont have sex with is not going to 'shape them up'.

 

[highland145]

im going to guess you have had little interaction with 15 year old girls. treating them like captive sex slaves that you dont have sex with is not going to 'shape them up'.

:hmm:

 

[wirednuts]

Well first things first, take her door off the hinges. Privacy in your house isn't a right, its an earned privelage. Second if she wants to sit in the dark in her room all the time, pull the breaker for the room. Third get a lock for the pantry and/or fridge. Only let her eat ramen or tuna, while you still have good food all the time. Also as my parents used to tell me and my brothers: "go ahead, call the police or protective services, I guarentee you the home they will stick you in will be much much worse than this one. If you dont want to live here, go ahead and pack your stuff, I'll call them myself." Those things and the occasional ass wooping kept me and my 2 brothers in check.

youre going to spank a 15 yo girl on the butt and feed her shitty tuna? no wonder people grow up to shoot movie theaters up.

 

[SMOGZINN]

My kids learned a lot about how to manipulate their parents from those programs. Think about it. If behavior modification works on kids, it's gonna work on adults too.

Then you are reading the wrong book, taking the wrong programs. Behavior modification programs should be modifying YOUR behavior, not theirs. Their behavior is almost completely reactionary. Learn to change your behavior and you will get different results.
You need to learn to be consistent, concise, and empathetic.

Remember that being a teenager sucks. They have emotions they don't know how to control, a society that can't decide if they are an adult or a child, and the constant frustration of the lack of personal agency.

 

[wirednuts]

Try setting less strict boundries. Right now you're saying no nude photos. How about change that to say you can't send out nude photos that included any identifying marks like your face or scars or tattoos.
There are quite a few nudes of me floating around in the clouds somewhere but none of them show my face

dude... wtf?

 

[wirednuts]

Then you are reading the wrong book, taking the wrong programs. Behavior modification programs should be modifying YOUR behavior, not theirs. Their behavior is almost completely reactionary. Learn to change your behavior and you will get different results.
You need to learn to be consistent, concise, and empathetic.

Remember that being a teenager sucks. They have emotions they don't know how to control, a society that can't decide if they are an adult or a child, and the constant frustration of the lack of personal agency.

breath of fresh air to thread. thank you.

 

[Spungo]

youre going to spank a 15 yo girl on the butt and feed her shitty tuna? no wonder people grow up to shoot movie theaters up.

I had to kill a bunch of people because last night's dinner tasted a bit odd.

Want to know what I would do, take "everything" out of her bedroom. The only thing should be a mattress on the floor, and that is it.

Outline a set of duties. When she preforms the duties, she gets her stuff back.

This would only work if you ALWAYS had this as the policy. You can't just change the rules half way into the game. The first 10 years living with you had no rules then the next 10 years you're a hard ass? You're basically declaring war by doing this. redgtxdi is right when he says kids will respond to this by declaring total war.
It's too late now.