This week's highlights
We got the British army in to shoot Jeremy's head off, James earnt his keep reviewing the Nissan Murano and Richard drove a sporty Maserati.
Nissan Murano
Would you fancy getting your hands on a cheap Range Rover? Thought you might, well, cast your eyes instead over a Nissan Murano. Ok, it's not really a proper 4x4 and it won't help you escape from a tank. What it does do is provide a very cool, credible alternative to the more costly Range Rover. We were amazed that James liked this car, but apparently it has things that he considers essential to the driving experience.
Firstly it's quiet, which means you can enjoy the nuances of Beethoven on the CD auto-changer. It also has fantastic satellite navigation that actually takes you where you want to go, rather than to a golf course. It even has a reverse camera that shows you if you're about to back over a fox. And the best bit? It has just one trim level, so there are no optional extras. You pay your £30,000 and you get everything.
DB5 vs. E-Type
If you like cars, and we think it's safe to assume you do, then you can't help but love the Jaguar E-Type and the Aston Martin DB5. These are two cars that still have the power to evoke a child-like enthusiasm in any 'petrosexual' man. It's the open mouth of that Jag grill, or the way you look driving one, sat on top of it, rather than in it. The DB5 makes you feel like you just became royalty, or even better, James Bond.
But would you rather have one of these than a modern sports car? Well, if you are prone to follow logic when purchasing a car, you'll probably end up with a Mercedes or BMW. But these two, which lack safety features, power, handling, electronics and comfort are still two of the best looking vehicles on the road. And these days, you can get modernised engines, brakes and suspension. So this is a marriage of 60's styling and 00's safety and engineering. But for a tweaked E-Type you are going to pay £90,000 and for the DB5, a staggering £200,000.
A former F1 driver in a reasonably-priced car
Global speculation about the identity of the Stig often leads people to believe he's Damon Hill. But could it be true? Does Damon sleep upside down like a bat? Is he afraid of bells? One thing for sure is Damon managed a superb lap time, 1.46.3, as you would expect. He won't be ranked on the power laps board, instead we are starting a new F1 section, for pro-drivers to battle it out. But is he the Stig? Who can say for sure...
SLK vs. Boxster
For years we've been trying to do away with our presenters. We tried to blow Richard up with lightning and drown him in a Vauxhall. We put James in a car with a suicide driver on a mountain and we tried to blow Jeremy up with a tank. But this week we decided that there was only one sure-fire way. Rifles. So we sent Jeremy off with a new SLK and Boxster. The idea was to decide which car was better. We assumed that the faster, more agile car, would easily outrun the gun-wielding soldiers and whisk Jeremy to safety. The Porsche was first out, and Jeremy only got shot 6 times. On the Mercedes run though, he got shot 13 times, which had they been real bullets would've made enough holes to sieve pasta. Despite that, Jeremy loved the Merc, he loved the handling, and took a shine to the 5.5-litre V8 they've shoehorned into it.
Maserati Gran Sport
When we tested the Maserati coupé three years ago we didn't much care for it. We liked the engine, but that was about it. But now, Maserati have had a little rethink, and have come up with a tweaked Gran Sport. The 4.2-litre V8 engine produces 396 bhp, so it can get to 60 in just 4.8 seconds and will go to a maximum of 180mph, if you happen to live near a track or autobahn. But was it a good idea to add more power to a car that is as hard to drive as the original coupé? It seems so, Maserati have tweaked it into a much better car. The handling is much more sturdy, and the interior has been improved too. The gearbox still involves paddles that flap, but it's a manual, so not all that bad.
Driving Song
Don't forget, now is the time to vote for the Top Gear, Greatest Driving Song. We have shortlisted the top five, and now is the time to select your favourite. Please remember, voting for Meatloaf has been scientifically proven to make you unattractive to members of the opposite sex, and may reduce your IQ by 30 points.
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