Originally posted by: ProUser
Originally posted by: Narse
Originally posted by: Ameesh
Originally posted by: Narse
She called today after leaving here on new years eve and told me she starts work Monday, and after thinking this week she wants a divorce.
At least it's playoff season.
:beer:
UPDATE: I heard from my mother-in-law night before last after she heard that Bonnie had made her choice, My Wife hadn't even told her parents. She begged me to give Bon some more time and I aggreed not to file until next month if nothing changes.
UPDATE 2: Wife called last night and we talked for 5 hours, we didn't argue we just talked and discussed our problems. She wants to stay there until the end of the month due to she got a temp job there and doesn't want to leave them high and dry. I hope we can work it out but only time will tell.
Update 3: We have been working through this quite nicely, I spent last week in TN with her and had a great time. Bon will be comming back home, it's now just a matter of time. She is working for H&R Block where her mother is the manager and she doesn't want to leave until they have someone to replace her or the end of peak season.
isn't it going to be wierd knowing she doesn't want to live with you and probably doesn't love you anymore?
i'd be weirded out.
What makes you think she doesn't want to live with me or doesn't love me anymore? She has never said she didn't love me. We both had some issues and to tell the truth I am glad she left for a bit, It has allowed me to see my shortcommings and she has seen hers. We want to goto some counseling and work it out, I fail to see how thats a bad thing.
I didn't tell the story of why she left and that is the root of most of the misunderstanding here, so here goes.
Bon and I had been fighting since around thanksgiving, she asked me multiple times to go to counseling and I never put forth the effort to do so. I just have this thing about counselors. I had been mad at her for months about her not working and had not really said anything to her about it; I just let it all build up. We got into a big fight at Christmas and we both told each other off about things that had been bothering us for quite some time. Basically we didn?t' communicate the past few months like we had in the past. So after Christmas I did something no man should ever do to his wife, I completely ignored her. She got fed up and left the day before new years. The first week she was there we hardly talked at all, her mother IMs me one day and asks me to hold off on filling for divorce. She tells me Bon had been a nervous wreck since she got there and was too proud to call me, so I called her. That was the start of us patching things up. From what I understand, she left with every intention not to come back but after talking to me, and after we saw where our problems lie she decided to come back home because she does love me and want to be with me.
The problem is, and I think most people outside of the situation see it is you are looking at this from a different perspective then she is. You see it as she wants to come back to work things out. She sees you as a comfort zone, which she obviously didn't want to be with before - hence her departure. For whatever reasons she wasn't able to leave you completely (new guy didn't work out, got scared, whatever) - so now she is back... for now. Look at yourself, now you are even saying you are glad she left for a bit. You are convincing yourself this was a good thing!
And I'm all for vows, but please. If she was in a 40 person gang bang while she was gone - would you still stick by those vows, even though obviously she hadn't?
I don't mean to come off as harsh, as I know this has got to be an insanely difficult thing. But you are so wrapped up in the emotion, I don't think you are thinking clearly. Don't try to convince yourself she truly loves you, or that this was a good thing - people that love each other don't leave each other.
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