The killing of the intruder via using a gun would indeed at first blush seem to be a very cathartic and pleasing experience. However I very much think that killing the intruder be it either with a gun or not while it would feel like I'd saved the family it would also be a horrible experience in and of itself. Both the rape that you mention AND the killing of the intruder at my hands would weigh heavily on me the rest of my life. In such a situation I have no doubt that I would seak out the closest heavy object and attempt to hit the intruder over the head with it, possibly killing him. IF I had a gun I also don't doubt that I would fire it killing the intruder that way. But neither one would make me feel any better in any way.
Perhaps a better question would be why should one live in fear of such an outcome in the first place. I have no doubt that it could happen here but I can't honestly say that I nor anyone that I have met in my daily interactions even gives a 2nd thought to this outcome. It's not like it doesn't happen sure but I've never felt the need to worry about it one way or the other. And neither do any of the people that I know here.
Your option to kill is one of last resort. Let's look at this a little differently.
You could demand that the intruder stop what he was doing by asking him nicely or you could demand that he stop under the threat of shooting him. Which do you think he'd respond to in the manner you desired? A gun is a deterrent. It does not necessarily have to be used.
Not jumping in your shit now, but you've got your emotions all tied up in what is your right to defend yourself, your family and your home. In the states, so far, we still have those rights. That is why many of us are armed. There truly are bad people in this world. I have only to watch the news, read the paper or peruse the internet to have it affirmed each and every day.
In your second paragraph you are second guessing why you'd even need to do what you said you'd do in the first paragraph. The second paragraph is irrelevant to the discussion. That's your emotions coming into play. The scenario I laid out is one of what is the best means of defense against a bad person.
Your feelings of guilt and remorse over shooting the bad guy are totally normal IMO. Taking the life of another is never something to be taken lightly or brushed off as if it was nothing. Few would not second guess themselves and many would do so for the rest of their lives.
So anyway, to answer your original question the attraction for me is being able to defend myself. I never felt the need to own firearms for the first 53 years of my life. It took that long for me to come to the conclusion that the only one truly looking out for me was myself and that I was the only one I could truly count on. I don't have to use it, I don't want to use it, but if push comes to shove, I will choose my life over the life of whatever antagonist is before me.
Self preservation is hard-wired into each of us. You've expressed it yourself.
Locut0s I do like the way you have presented this. You come across as genuine and without a hidden agenda.