To buy or not buy groceries for house guests

[Blackjack200]

Originally posted by: BurnItDwn
Put your foot down and tell your wife no. Don't discuss it civilly or argue, just say "no, not gonna happen." If she yells at you, and you back down, then you are already whipped and a lost cause.

note: I fail at interpreting the phrase "choose your battles", you can ask my ex, lol.

Tyler Durden: Repeat after me: This conversation...
Ed Norton: This conversation...
Tyler Durden: ...is over.
Ed Norton: ...is over.

 

[Geekbabe]

This is easy, your wife sends them an email that says "SWBSAM and I would be delighted to have you stay with us! I understand that Jane is on a special diet, We have a Whole Foods store close by so she'll be able to pick up everything she needs"

Alternatively, your wife provides dinner or breakfast and on their first morning cheerfully announces that she'll drive them to the market so they can pick up whatever food items they'll be requiring for the week

 

[DrPizza]

NYC?! Whoa, "You guys are really lucky. We have TONS of inexpensive restaurants around that serve excellent food - any type of food you can imagine. We can make a list for you or..."

 

[Geekbabe]

These people are going to be guests for a week. Unless they were raised in cave they'll
ask your wife to take them to the grocery store and they'll also treat you and your wife to a nice meal
out to thank you for your hospitality.

 

[JS80]

You're close to what Fatwallet would call an "American Hero."

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono
If you are going to play host and lodge them, then it's your responsibility to be as good a host as possible, even if you have to go out of your way.

If it really is that desperate a situation that you can't adequately provide for them, then don't have them stay at your place.

Are you asian?

I'm Indian, so technically yes

No, I just think that the host<->guest relationship should be a very positive one, and whichever role you find yourself in, you should do your very best to do what's honorable and right even if you have to sacrifice a little.

It's not really an Asian concept, btw, it extends across many cultures but is often forgotten in modern societies.

I asked because I'm indian, and your mentality is my mom's.. She would blow a grand on a week visit from some distant cousin. I think that's why I'm freaking out!

I think the guest<->host relationship is skewed for me, since there will rarely be a.. karmic balance. I doubt I'll EVER visit them in the midwest and, as New Yorkers, I sure as hell will have more friends of friends who want to crash here.. So it'll always be me being hospitable and me never getting any of that hospitality returned. That's a crude way of putting it, but that's why living in desirable locations is a mixed blessing

I have a friend who lives in downtown Chicago. She is always playing host to guests from out of town and has started basically saying "This is what I have to eat. You are welcome to join me, go out, or buy your own". In fact, she has started turning guests down who want to go out to eat every night simply due to the cost. When I go to visit for a weekend, I will take her to dinner one night, buy some beer for the fridge, and otherwise drink water, eat cereal, or go out. If I run her out of something, I walk the two blocks to the grocery and replace it. But, that is the kind of guest I am... I figure she is doing me a solid by saving me $$$ on a hotel.

If it were just me, I wouldn't go out of your way for these guests to have something to "munch on". I would probably try to plan 2 or 3 dinners to cook in with your guests. Plan some meals that they will enjoy, but will also fit into your diet. I would let them know that they are free to eat what is in the house, and then casually recommend the neighborhood grocery for anything they might need otherwise. Two people for six days is a lot of time. In all honesty, if I were in their shoes I would hesitate to ask for that kind of favor. That is a pretty significant imposition.

 

[swbsam]

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono
If you are going to play host and lodge them, then it's your responsibility to be as good a host as possible, even if you have to go out of your way.

If it really is that desperate a situation that you can't adequately provide for them, then don't have them stay at your place.

Are you asian?

I'm Indian, so technically yes

No, I just think that the host<->guest relationship should be a very positive one, and whichever role you find yourself in, you should do your very best to do what's honorable and right even if you have to sacrifice a little.

It's not really an Asian concept, btw, it extends across many cultures but is often forgotten in modern societies.

I asked because I'm indian, and your mentality is my mom's.. She would blow a grand on a week visit from some distant cousin. I think that's why I'm freaking out!

I think the guest<->host relationship is skewed for me, since there will rarely be a.. karmic balance. I doubt I'll EVER visit them in the midwest and, as New Yorkers, I sure as hell will have more friends of friends who want to crash here.. So it'll always be me being hospitable and me never getting any of that hospitality returned. That's a crude way of putting it, but that's why living in desirable locations is a mixed blessing

I have a friend who lives in downtown Chicago. She is always playing host to guests from out of town and has started basically saying "This is what I have to eat. You are welcome to join me, go out, or buy your own". In fact, she has started turning guests down who want to go out to eat every night simply due to the cost. When I go to visit for a weekend, I will take her to dinner one night, buy some beer for the fridge, and otherwise drink water, eat cereal, or go out. If I run her out of something, I walk the two blocks to the grocery and replace it. But, that is the kind of guest I am... I figure she is doing me a solid by saving me $$$ on a hotel.

If it were just me, I wouldn't go out of your way for these guests to have something to "munch on". I would probably try to plan 2 or 3 dinners to cook in with your guests. Plan some meals that they will enjoy, but will also fit into your diet. I would let them know that they are free to eat what is in the house, and then casually recommend the neighborhood grocery for anything they might need otherwise. Two people for six days is a lot of time. In all honesty, if I were in their shoes I would hesitate to ask for that kind of favor. That is a pretty significant imposition.

Your friend's situation is similar to what it's like for me right now - guests at least every 6 weeks. Yeah, we've had about a dozen guests since last christmas. It's all been family, but in all honesty, the more extended family is here to see NYC and not us. I don't whine about family, but this was a case of people I don't even know (and one my wife doesn't even know) mooching. Honestly, I don't like guests. Even family - call me anti-social, but I'd rather seem them once a year at family get togethers, but that's a battle I won't win so I try not to be a stick in the mud.

The last time a cousin of my wife's visited he set the course of the trip (let's go here! let's eat here!) and we footed the bill.. Which SUCKED because he wanted trendy restaurants, not Boston Market. I didn't complain, being family...

But, yeah, we'll get some snacks just so we have something around the house when they get here (at night)... I don't really mind that as a compromise, I'm just tired of paying for people's vacations when they're really here to experience the wonder and joy that is NYC, not to honor me with their company.

 

[rgwalt]

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono
If you are going to play host and lodge them, then it's your responsibility to be as good a host as possible, even if you have to go out of your way.

If it really is that desperate a situation that you can't adequately provide for them, then don't have them stay at your place.

Are you asian?

I'm Indian, so technically yes

No, I just think that the host<->guest relationship should be a very positive one, and whichever role you find yourself in, you should do your very best to do what's honorable and right even if you have to sacrifice a little.

It's not really an Asian concept, btw, it extends across many cultures but is often forgotten in modern societies.

I asked because I'm indian, and your mentality is my mom's.. She would blow a grand on a week visit from some distant cousin. I think that's why I'm freaking out!

I think the guest<->host relationship is skewed for me, since there will rarely be a.. karmic balance. I doubt I'll EVER visit them in the midwest and, as New Yorkers, I sure as hell will have more friends of friends who want to crash here.. So it'll always be me being hospitable and me never getting any of that hospitality returned. That's a crude way of putting it, but that's why living in desirable locations is a mixed blessing

I have a friend who lives in downtown Chicago. She is always playing host to guests from out of town and has started basically saying "This is what I have to eat. You are welcome to join me, go out, or buy your own". In fact, she has started turning guests down who want to go out to eat every night simply due to the cost. When I go to visit for a weekend, I will take her to dinner one night, buy some beer for the fridge, and otherwise drink water, eat cereal, or go out. If I run her out of something, I walk the two blocks to the grocery and replace it. But, that is the kind of guest I am... I figure she is doing me a solid by saving me $$$ on a hotel.

If it were just me, I wouldn't go out of your way for these guests to have something to "munch on". I would probably try to plan 2 or 3 dinners to cook in with your guests. Plan some meals that they will enjoy, but will also fit into your diet. I would let them know that they are free to eat what is in the house, and then casually recommend the neighborhood grocery for anything they might need otherwise. Two people for six days is a lot of time. In all honesty, if I were in their shoes I would hesitate to ask for that kind of favor. That is a pretty significant imposition.

Your friend's situation is similar to what it's like for me right now - guests at least every 6 weeks. Yeah, we've had about a dozen guests since last christmas. It's all been family, but in all honesty, the more extended family is here to see NYC and not us. I don't whine about family, but this was a case of people I don't even know (and one my wife doesn't even know) mooching. Honestly, I don't like guests. Even family - call me anti-social, but I'd rather seem them once a year at family get togethers, but that's a battle I won't win so I try not to be a stick in the mud.

The last time a cousin of my wife's visited he set the course of the trip (let's go here! let's eat here!) and we footed the bill.. Which SUCKED because he wanted trendy restaurants, not Boston Market. I didn't complain, being family...

But, yeah, we'll get some snacks just so we have something around the house when they get here (at night)... I don't really mind that as a compromise, I'm just tired of paying for people's vacations when they're really here to experience the wonder and joy that is NYC, not to honor me with their company.

You footed the bill for someone else's visit, meaning you paid for his dinners? Even if you paid your own and he pad his, it is still really expensive to go out every night just because you have a guest in town. Everyone thinks "Its just me for a few days", but it adds up.

I also lived in Chicago for a year. I had people out to visit 3 or 4 times, for a weekend max. I ended up walking us through the grocery store after they got into town and simply asking them what they wanted to eat, and then bought enough for the both of us. They would typically chip in. Maybe I'm an ass though...

 

[TruePaige]

My predisposition to hospitality goes both ways.

When I am the host, unless money is very tight, I buy a few basics for my guests, and if money is good I may even go out for an inexpensive dinner with my guests.

When I am the guest, unless money is also very tight, I like to cook a meal as a thank you to my hosts, but I still appreciate any hospitality they are willing to offer me.

I just ask myself how I would like to be treated in either rule and do my very best to express that behavior with my host/guest.

 

[dmw16]

I'd say let them get their own stuff especially if it's snacks and soda. They are getting a free place to stay and really, they should offer to buy their own food.

However, if your wife is really set on buying them some things it isn't worth fighting over unless you absolutely can't afford it.

 

[lxskllr]

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono
If you are going to play host and lodge them, then it's your responsibility to be as good a host as possible, even if you have to go out of your way.

If it really is that desperate a situation that you can't adequately provide for them, then don't have them stay at your place.

Are you asian?

i'm white, and i agree with his sentiment.

Same here. A house guest should be treated like visiting royalty, and all accommodations should be made for them.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

you are over reacting. They aren't going to be sitting around your house eating your food all day. They are going to be exploring the city. I think it would be nice to have some nice sit down dinners with them(since you don't even know them) but I don't think its expected that you go grocery shopping for them. You can leave out take out menus and let them handle the rest they are adults.

 

[swbsam]

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: rgwalt

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: Crono
If you are going to play host and lodge them, then it's your responsibility to be as good a host as possible, even if you have to go out of your way.

If it really is that desperate a situation that you can't adequately provide for them, then don't have them stay at your place.

Are you asian?

I'm Indian, so technically yes

No, I just think that the host<->guest relationship should be a very positive one, and whichever role you find yourself in, you should do your very best to do what's honorable and right even if you have to sacrifice a little.

It's not really an Asian concept, btw, it extends across many cultures but is often forgotten in modern societies.

I asked because I'm indian, and your mentality is my mom's.. She would blow a grand on a week visit from some distant cousin. I think that's why I'm freaking out!

I think the guest<->host relationship is skewed for me, since there will rarely be a.. karmic balance. I doubt I'll EVER visit them in the midwest and, as New Yorkers, I sure as hell will have more friends of friends who want to crash here.. So it'll always be me being hospitable and me never getting any of that hospitality returned. That's a crude way of putting it, but that's why living in desirable locations is a mixed blessing

I have a friend who lives in downtown Chicago. She is always playing host to guests from out of town and has started basically saying "This is what I have to eat. You are welcome to join me, go out, or buy your own". In fact, she has started turning guests down who want to go out to eat every night simply due to the cost. When I go to visit for a weekend, I will take her to dinner one night, buy some beer for the fridge, and otherwise drink water, eat cereal, or go out. If I run her out of something, I walk the two blocks to the grocery and replace it. But, that is the kind of guest I am... I figure she is doing me a solid by saving me $$$ on a hotel.

If it were just me, I wouldn't go out of your way for these guests to have something to "munch on". I would probably try to plan 2 or 3 dinners to cook in with your guests. Plan some meals that they will enjoy, but will also fit into your diet. I would let them know that they are free to eat what is in the house, and then casually recommend the neighborhood grocery for anything they might need otherwise. Two people for six days is a lot of time. In all honesty, if I were in their shoes I would hesitate to ask for that kind of favor. That is a pretty significant imposition.

Your friend's situation is similar to what it's like for me right now - guests at least every 6 weeks. Yeah, we've had about a dozen guests since last christmas. It's all been family, but in all honesty, the more extended family is here to see NYC and not us. I don't whine about family, but this was a case of people I don't even know (and one my wife doesn't even know) mooching. Honestly, I don't like guests. Even family - call me anti-social, but I'd rather seem them once a year at family get togethers, but that's a battle I won't win so I try not to be a stick in the mud.

The last time a cousin of my wife's visited he set the course of the trip (let's go here! let's eat here!) and we footed the bill.. Which SUCKED because he wanted trendy restaurants, not Boston Market. I didn't complain, being family...

But, yeah, we'll get some snacks just so we have something around the house when they get here (at night)... I don't really mind that as a compromise, I'm just tired of paying for people's vacations when they're really here to experience the wonder and joy that is NYC, not to honor me with their company.

You footed the bill for someone else's visit, meaning you paid for his dinners? Even if you paid your own and he pad his, it is still really expensive to go out every night just because you have a guest in town. Everyone thinks "Its just me for a few days", but it adds up.

I also lived in Chicago for a year. I had people out to visit 3 or 4 times, for a weekend max. I ended up walking us through the grocery store after they got into town and simply asking them what they wanted to eat, and then bought enough for the both of us. They would typically chip in. Maybe I'm an ass though...

We paid (whenever we went out together) because he's younger than us and family, but I should be fair and say he didn't demand - it's just felt like the right thing to do. It still left us hurting a bit. Eating in New York can be very cheap, but not if your guest spent the weeks before his visit googling "cool" places to dine (vs. affordable). I mean, lunch for 3 can easily hit $75, dinners $100+.

But that's not really the point, just the volume of guests that pass by make the concept of guest annoying to me. Last month my sister in law visited and the long weekend trip cost us $400. I would *love* to drop $400 on just me and my wife, but it's hard for us to justify. I was especially annoyed when she wanted to see a movie we already saw! Tickets/popcorn/soda = $50 for a movie my wife and I already saw!

I sound like the grinch, don't I? We took a giant leap to buy a two family house. Most of my friends still live with roommates, let alone own a two family house in a nice neighborhood. I'm not bragging at all, but it brings in a whole slew of responsibilities that some people don't understand. I knew we could afford it but also knew things would be tight for the first 2 years. My wife has been great and knows that vacations/ splurges will be rare during this period, but the guests are usually on short notice and usually eat a chunk of whatever fun money we have.

We're not too poor to get groceries - in fact our car insurance went down quite a bit, our PMI cut, and our tenant owes us rent in a few days. It should mean that November would be a month to pay down a credit card or splurge on a nice dinner with the wife, but guests fuck that up sometimes... These guests won't because we'll be sensible, but "treating them like Kings" would involve blowing a few hundred bucks. Fuck that! I'm saving for a blu-ray player

 

[Koing]

Just tell them £££ is a bit tight because you bought your house and don't splurge on them. Let them roll with it. Get the basics.

Koing