Tip: Don't mix business with pleasure

[johnjohn320]

I'm a pianist, and I accompanied my girlfriend (also a musician) on a full length recital she gave today (by full length I mean an hour or so). For the most part everything was good, but I ended up having a lapse in judgement and taking the very last piece we played way too fast (she struggled to keep up, and it was really difficult to slow down once we got going).

Long story short, at the "after-party" at her house, when we had a moment to ourselves, she said some pretty hurtful things and we ended up getting into an argument over it. Things are fine now, we've quickly reconciled and things are peachy keen. But it still tainted what should have been a wonderful, special day (today was also her birthday, btw). I felt really bad about taking the piece too fast, I completely admit it was 100% my fault, but still...

I think what I've learned is: don't accompany your girlfriend unless it's something not important to begin with. I guess that can translate to many other professions as well. I know it's not true for everyone, but yeah...I've learned my lesson.

Sorry if the above made no sense, johnjohn = sleepy.

 

[brigden]

Why did you play fast in the firstplace?

 

[Kadarin]

Is there a significant difference in talent between you two?

 

[Howard]

You'd better make it up to her.

If she seems OK about it now, she still isn't. Do something.

 

[johnjohn320]

Originally posted by: Howard
You'd better make it up to her.

If she seems OK about it now, she still isn't. Do something.

I took her out to a nice dinner, treated her at Barnes and Noble, etc etc.

Why did you play fast in the firstplace?

I didn't start that way...but I felt myself gradually getting faster and faster through some of the passage work...it happens sometimes. hard to explain if you're not a musician.

Is there a significant difference in talent between you two?

I really don't think so. We're both music majors at respected schools. We both have tons of performance experience and have played in a lot of groups together. I have more solo experience (being a pianist and all), she has more ensemble experience. Who knows?

 

[SlangNRox]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Howard
You'd better make it up to her.

If she seems OK about it now, she still isn't. Do something.

I took her out to a nice dinner, treated her at Barnes and Noble, etc etc.

You treated her to some books?

 

[luvya]

so what do you play?

 

[MacBaine]

Originally posted by: johnjohn320

Originally posted by: Howard
You'd better make it up to her.

If she seems OK about it now, she still isn't. Do something.

I took her out to a nice dinner, treated her at Barnes and Noble, etc etc.

Is that what you kids call it these days?

 

[brigden]

Originally posted by: luvya
so what do you play?

The skin flute.

 

[MrAwesome]

I had a girlfriend in 5th grade who stole my maracas. I know how you feel man.

 

[alkemyst]

Reading this thread I can't help but think Lawrence Welk would have been mentioned if it was still around.

You guys probably 'make love' only too right?

Next time let her do a solo and disappear with a Celloist for a few moments. It will do your relationship well.

 

[dirtboy]

This is why I make it a point not to ask my clients out on dates. I missed getting a client once because this gal wanted me to take her daughter out. I took her daughter out and the date was a disaster. Sure enough, she didn't want to do business with us.

 

[dirtboy]

.

 

[dirtboy]

.

 

[Lonyo]

You make a big point of it

 

[jjones]

Let me see, you accompanied her at a recital she was giving, played too fast, causing her to struggle and embarrass herself. And on her birthday so she'd really feel special about it. No wonder she's pissed.

 

[Jzero]

Sounds like a prima dona type. If she wants to do this for a living, she had better figure out --and quickly-- that during live performances, sh!t breaks. Routinely. Be prepared to deal with it.
And no, bitching out the other performers is NOT considered "dealing with it."

You'll get a lot farther in life with a reputation of being easy to work with instead of difficult to work with.

 

[element]

Originally posted by: Jzero
Sounds like a prima dona type. If she wants to do this for a living, she had better figure out --and quickly-- that during live performances, sh!t breaks. Routinely. Be prepared to deal with it.
And no, bitching out the other performers is NOT considered "dealing with it."

You'll get a lot farther in life with a reputation of being easy to work with instead of difficult to work with.

WTH are you talking about? Sh!t didn't break, he caused her to screw up. I suppose this is to be expected from a Schizoid lover with a flava flavicon.

JohnJohn you better make it up to her before she beats you over the head, stuffs you in your piano and wheels your ass out into a busy intersection.

 

[badmouse]

As a pianist/accompanist myself, I'm a bit curious about how you "took it too fast." Unless you were way way off base, what's the big deal - couldn't she slow you down? I've had my partners correct me on tempo zillions of times, either nicely or very obviously showing the audience that I was in the wrong. Of course, I can do stuff back to them . . . but that's another post.

If she's going to give a recital, she should be skilled enough to deal with whatever happened, in fact, to take advantage of it. This is the point of live music, duh!! If she wanted something boringly repetitive, she should've used a recorded accompaniment.

Sounds like she was putting too much of the job on you, and now she's blaming you for something she should have been responsible.

Whatever, if you want to keep her (even though she's a selfish b*tch) the standard method should work, lots of grovelling, gifts, laughing at her jokes, etc. The usual.

But I'd dump a person who blamed important stuff on me.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: element
WTH are you talking about? Sh!t didn't break, he caused her to screw up.

Not much of a performer, eh? Well, I've been doing this my whole life, so I'll give you a rundown:

In the theater, we call that "sh!t breaking."
Accompanist takes the wrong tempo.
Actor blows a line.
Singer misses her cue note and comes in in the wrong key.
Board operator leaves you standing in the dark.

It's a LIVE performance -- anything can go wrong, and something will.

One sure way to tell the difference between a good performer and a bad one -- a good one will correct, cover and move on, even if the mistake is entirely someone else's fault. Part of being an excellent performer is the ability to handle the unexpected such that the audience either doesn't know or doesn't care.

A bad performer will probably telegraph the mistake to the audience, and then berates a fellow performer. This just sets you up to catch hell the next time YOU eff up (an it WILL happen eventually).

And Badmouse is spot on. There are both subtle and obvious ways to signal the accompanist/conductor to slow down or change speeds. Signals that a good, competent performer would know.

 

[DigDug]

I'm a pianist, and I accompanied my girlfriend (also a musician) on a full length recital she gave today (by full length I mean an hour or so). For the most part everything was good, but I ended up having a lapse in judgement and taking the very last piece we played way too fast (she struggled to keep up, and it was really difficult to slow down once we got going).

I think I saw this movie on lifetime. Or maybe it was Masterpiece Theatre. Oh the hullabaloo that can come from piano performances. Good job, old bean. Righto!

 

[her209]

Makeup sex!!!