Tiger Woods jokes thread

overst33r

Diamond Member
Oct 3, 2004
5,761
12
81
I'll get started by repeating what I've heard over the past week...

The only difference between Tiger and Santa is that Santa stops after three ho's...


What does Tiger call his 6 girlfriends?

His easiest 18 holes...


Tiger Woods' wife found out her husband wasn't really a tiger...

He was a Cheetah!

:)
 
Mar 15, 2003
12,668
103
106
something about his 1/4 black being in all the right places.. or his 1/4 chinese being in all the wrong places..or something like that.
 

Jesusthewererabbit

Senior member
Mar 20, 2008
934
0
76
Q: What does Tiger have in common with baby seals?

A: The are both in danger of getting clubbed by a Norwegian.

Since Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame his Caddy?

Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A: Tiger can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Elin got hired as a consultant. She is teaching Phil Mickleson how to beat Tiger.
 

richardycc

Diamond Member
Apr 29, 2001
5,719
1
81
police: "how many times did your wife hit you with that golf club?"

Tiger: " I don't know, just put me down for 3."
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Q: What does Tiger have in common with baby seals?

A: The are both in danger of getting clubbed by a Norwegian.

Since Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame his Caddy?

Q: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

A: Tiger can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Elin got hired as a consultant. She is teaching Phil Mickleson how to beat Tiger.

LOL! Keep 'em coming!
 

jonks

Lifer
Feb 7, 2005
13,918
20
81
Journalist: "Tiger, how does it feel to finally be found out as a promiscuous man-whore?"

Tiger: "Better nate than lever."
 

sygyzy

Lifer
Oct 21, 2000
14,001
4
76
Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three ho's.
 

ChanHo78

Senior member
Apr 9, 2009
643
0
0
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make ... I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"Now what are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The husband then slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"NO! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole!
 

RoloMather

Golden Member
Sep 23, 2008
1,598
1
0
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make ... I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"Now what are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The husband then slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"NO! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole!

lol
 
Aug 23, 2000
15,509
1
81
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make ... I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"Now what are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The husband then slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"NO! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole!

<winnar>