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those of you who lost a parent(s)

R

rasczak

Lifer
I lost my Mom to cancer almost 6 years ago and my side of the family still has not recovered. She was literally the glue that kept us together, and once she was gone, our family has fallen apart. The holidays tend to remind of the fact that I really don't have much of a family anymore. It's also a bit uneasy as I every so often I will see some lady at a store turn slightly to one side, and I could swear she was my Mom.

I miss my Mom terribly.

Sorry for being such a downer. I really needed to get that out.
 
I have lost both parents.

My dad died in July.

Christmas is not very festive now.

But I will make the best of it.
 
Same thing with my dad, 6 years ago too. Our family gatherings are half the size they used to be...
 
i stopped caring about christmas even with both parents alive. This christmas both my father and father in law are in the hospital, one with a fall + pneumonia, one after an 11 hour mouth cancer surgery. However, having a 3yo daughter is what keeps me in the christmas spirit! We texted her list to Santa this year 🙂
 
I lost my dad in 1999. I was a sophomore in college it was absolutely devastating. I know to most of people, college is usually the most memorable part of their lives, but for me, it was hell. But what can you do, you cope and you move on.

I see my dad sometimes in my dreams.
 
Originally posted by: Joemonkey
i stopped caring about christmas even with both parents alive. This christmas both my father and father in law are in the hospital, one with a fall + pneumonia, one after an 11 hour mouth cancer surgery. However, having a 3yo daughter is what keeps me in the christmas spirit! We texted her list to Santa this year 🙂
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Yea, the kids do keep me in the spirit of things for the most part, i just wish my mom lived long enough to see the granddaughters she wanted so dearly (at the time she had two grandsons.)

It's really wierd how the holiday seasons bring such a wave of both good feelings and somber feelings. I was going through youtube and enjoying a few x mas tunes, when I had a pop singer named Imelda Papin (filipino singer from the 80's) come into my thoughts and decided to hear one of her songs. Well that just broke the floodgates because it was one of my Mom's favorites songs. I would hear here singing that tune every morning.

In honor of those parents who've passed on. :wine:
 
My friend lost his Mom to Cancer just days before Xmas when he was 12 or 13. He mentioned to me once that the Holiday season is just depressing to him now.

:brokenheart: :wine:
 
I lost my mom 2 days after Christmas 5 years ago. Successful way for me to cope is remember her and how great she was. This remembrance actually makes me happy instead of sad because I know I was lucky to have the best mom ever.

 
Originally posted by: spidey07
I lost my mom 2 days after Christmas 5 years ago. Successful way for me to cope is remember her and how great she was. This remembrance actually makes me happy instead of sad because I know I was lucky to have the best mom ever.
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That's such a great way to cope.
rose.gif
 
Originally posted by: rasczak
I lost my Mom to cancer almost 6 years ago and my side of the family still has not recovered. She was literally the glue that kept us together, and once she was gone, our family has fallen apart. The holidays tend to remind of the fact that I really don't have much of a family anymore. It's also a bit uneasy as I every so often I will see some lady at a store turn slightly to one side, and I could swear she was my Mom.

I miss my Mom terribly.

Sorry for being such a downer. I really needed to get that out.
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rasczak, your situation is very similar to mine. I lost my mother 5 years ago, she was the glue that held everything together. She was the emotional center of the family, and Christmas was really her thing. Now that she's gone, Christmas just isn't the same. My own kids (had them two years ago) have put the spark back into it though. Seeing their little faces light up when they see presents under the tree brings everything back into perspective in a hurry 🙂

Yeah, there are still times when I get a little down around this time of years, but seeing the kids and their joy always seems to fix everything.
 
Originally posted by: rasczak
I lost my Mom to cancer almost 6 years ago and my side of the family still has not recovered. She was literally the glue that kept us together, and once she was gone, our family has fallen apart. The holidays tend to remind of the fact that I really don't have much of a family anymore. It's also a bit uneasy as I every so often I will see some lady at a store turn slightly to one side, and I could swear she was my Mom.

I miss my Mom terribly.

Sorry for being such a downer. I really needed to get that out.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I lost my mom to brain cancer in 05. It still affects me to this day, and I have no desire to spend it with my dad and his gf. It just doesn't feel right. I feel really bad about it and weak because I haven't gotten over the pain of it all, but what can you do?
 
My mom died shortly after Christmas '99 but my wife stepped up to the plate to keep the holiday festive as my mom used to. :heart: That's not to say that I don't miss my mom alot during the holiday season, I do. But the holiday spirit is kept alive by my spouse.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
I lost my mom 2 days after Christmas 5 years ago. Successful way for me to cope is remember her and how great she was. This remembrance actually makes me happy instead of sad because I know I was lucky to have the best mom ever.
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That actually makes me feel warm inside. Cheers, spidey :wine:
 
I hear you, and you're not alone. My mother passed just after the holidays 18 years ago, and it's still one of the defining aspects of the holidays for my entire family. I don't think it's ever been the same since. Good years sometimes, but always the underlying current of loss.

Best thoughts and wishes with you and your family.
 
Originally posted by: scott916
Originally posted by: rasczak
I lost my Mom to cancer almost 6 years ago and my side of the family still has not recovered. She was literally the glue that kept us together, and once she was gone, our family has fallen apart. The holidays tend to remind of the fact that I really don't have much of a family anymore. It's also a bit uneasy as I every so often I will see some lady at a store turn slightly to one side, and I could swear she was my Mom.

I miss my Mom terribly.

Sorry for being such a downer. I really needed to get that out.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I lost my mom to brain cancer in 05. It still affects me to this day, and I have no desire to spend it with my dad and his gf. It just doesn't feel right. I feel really bad about it and weak because I haven't gotten over the pain of it all, but what can you do?
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Talk it out with a therapist, then buck up and remember the good times. There were good times right? That is what you should focus on.
My dad has been gone for 20 years now, I don't think about him any more or less on any particular day. I miss talking about exciting things with him, sharing stuff.
 
Originally posted by: skyking
Talk it out with a therapist, then buck up and remember the good times. There were good times right? That is what you should focus on.
My dad has been gone for 20 years now, I don't think about him any more or less on any particular day. I miss talking about exciting things with him, sharing stuff.
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Probably a good idea. I've avoided it since my last experience right after she died was a joke.
 
Lost my mom in 1999 and dad in 2003. Hell yes it's a LOT less festive.

You don't know what you have until you lose it. For all of you that still have your parents ... remember these words.
 
Originally posted by: dud
Lost my mom in 1999 and dad in 2003. Hell yes it's a LOT less festive.

You don't know what you have until you lose it. For all of you that still have your parents ... remember these words.
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:thumbsup:

Take more pictures than you think is necessary. I really wish I had more of us together.
 
Originally posted by: scott916
Originally posted by: skyking
Talk it out with a therapist, then buck up and remember the good times. There were good times right? That is what you should focus on.
My dad has been gone for 20 years now, I don't think about him any more or less on any particular day. I miss talking about exciting things with him, sharing stuff.
Click to expand...

Probably a good idea. I've avoided it since my last experience right after she died was a joke.
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I tried to as well, and i don't think it was a good idea at all. I hadn't accepted her death at that point and didn't even give therapy a chance. it probably is a good time to see someone and try to get it all out there.
 
:thumbsup:
You have a lot more crying to do. It can be the best thing in the world, getting it all out there.
 
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