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This suxors...my g/f is crying!

T

tommigsr

Platinum Member
from previous post

I just told her on the phone right now that i wanted some space...not break up or anything, but a day or two out of the week so i can do my thing. she started crying...and i told her...not to...please don't...stuff like that to comfort her. and she says "when i need you, you don't wanna stay, but when i want to be alone, you won't go away" what tha...now i'm just so confused
 


<< Thats just how girls/women are...

My wife always crys over the silliest sh1t... >>



it's so sad..i don't want to do it, but i feel so confined...i feel as though i need to be there for her all of the time...but i want my own time also....ahhhhhhhhhhh *does the homer simpson roll*
 
Same thing happened to me... But we were at least able to work it out - she's too good to let go. Since we have a long distance relationship and we can only see each other every 3 weeks or so, we decided we can let a few things slide - as long as we're honest about them. therefore, my girlfriend is the best. and I think we're both as happy as some happy people
 
its a trick, dont fall for it...



thats how they drag you in, next thing you'll know you'll be married...







Please dude, dont do it...
 
Ask her to write down (hint, very important so you can have hard evidence) when she'd like to see you and how often, ideally in her views. If it's too much for you, negotiate. If you come to an impasse, you've got a problem. But girls are less confusing when they sketch out plainly for you what they want. Paper and a pencil helps. And if you ask her to do this, it might be helpful in letting her know you're interested and concerned about what she wants and willing to jog priorities a little to keep her happy. But not to set your whole life aside just because she says so. You might be willing to make time adjustments of when you're with her and when you're w/your friends or by yourself but you still need those off periods. So, have her write it down.
 
now she's telling me on AIM that she's gonna be fine, she just has to adjust...because she doesn't like being alone. it's just a matter of time...and she's teling me not to worry, but i say i worry bout her...and that i don't want to do this, but it seems as though she is taking me away from my friends..and i know it's not right!
 


<< call her back and tell her u were just kidding. the make up sex will be great 🙂 >>



come on...

Crying bothers me...I dunno I just don't like it, there are better ways to deal with things
 
Just make plans with the guys for one day next week, and then tell her after you've made them (hint: pick something to do that you KNOW she won't like to do). That way she knows that you're going out and she won't be coming along. If she whines, just say "Dammit woman! I just want one freaking day to go out with my friends!", but in a joking kind of tone, and smile when you say it, maybe even chuckle afterwards... Just enough to let her know you're serious, but don't push her over the edge...
 
i hate it when my g/f cries...i feel it is ALL of my fault (girls on this forum will probably say yes it is my fault) .....grrrr... 🙁
 


<< Just make plans with the guys for one day next week, and then tell her after you've made them (hint: pick something to do that you KNOW she won't like to do). That way she knows that you're going out and she won't be coming along. If she whines, just say "Dammit woman! I just want one freaking day to go out with my friends!", but in a joking kind of tone, and smile when you say it, maybe even chuckle afterwards... Just enough to let her know you're serious, but don't push her over the edge... >>



done it once...scary sight...ain't doin it again! hehee thanx for the advice guys! keep it coming
 
well, does she "need" you? that is, is there something she needs you for other than general "being around"?

you two may need some couples counselling, just to talk things out.

--

setting aside one day a week is not a bad thing.. now here comes the string... what if her birthday falls on that date, or an anniversary of some sort, or what not. what if your friends are busy that day, and can't make it. what if a person you have not seen in a while drops by unexpectedly.
 
you need your own space ? picture your life without her, and if you can do that, then you need your own space. if you can't picture your life without her, u dont need yoru own space. you might push her away, and never get that time back again. but i mean you learn from your mistakes so its your choice.
 
woman are something men should never try to understand, we're lucky if we're jsut not driven insane by them. Men work on logic, women work on some whacked out emotions, we're too different to understand eachother. just try not to lose you sanity and you'll get through this.
 
pics?


J/k 🙂
Try to put some space between you two for a while, so that your judgements aren't based on emotions.
 


<< "when i need you, you don't wanna stay, but when i want to be alone, you won't go away" >>

This is girl-speak for "Me, me, myself, I and me."

I'd tell her that she can pick the days she won't be "needing" me. That seems fair enough.

I think this idiot John Gray really did an ENORMOUS disservice for men and women by coming up with this utter crap that men should learn to "read" a woman's deliberately deceptive signals. Like "go away" means "hold me" and crap like that.

Jesus I'm not a cryptographer. What the hell ever happened to being HONEST and speaking your mind? Noooo, we've got to decipher a secret f-cking code. Women don't come with a secret decoder ring.
 
if i asked her to tell me the days she needs me, she'll tell me everyday, because she needs me to be with her to comfort her...because she feels that she's alone. ahhhhhhhhh :frown:
 
Arg...dude...that sucks. I hate to see girls crying myself.

Anyways...if she wants space, give her space. If she wants to be with you, get your ass over there on occasion.

HOWEVER, you have to tell her that you expect that same of her and that she can't dictate where you are all the time. You're not some sort of dog on a leash that she can call to her...or oppositely dump in the backyard.

Seriously though...if she REALLY needs you and it's an important matter...like she's upset about parents or school or whatever and she needs someone to talk/cry/rant/punch...just go.

GO.

It'll save you a lot of bitching later and she'll always think she can rely on you when times are truly trying. Things like "Oh, I just wanted you to buy me ice cream." or whatever are not important...they're trivial and she shouldn't even be asking but women are strange (no offense to the women here...you think we are too, dammit!) so if you can....just go. Once again, it'll save you an argument later on and might even get you some relationship points to trade in towards sex.
 
hey hey hey, i've got an idea for you! drop your g/f and spend all that extra cash paying off your debt and making your car go faster! hehe, that's what i did, or am currently in the process of.

i racked up so much debt with my x, it's sickening.............
 
Just get a pager and give her the number. She can page you with *coded* messages...just to say hi or whatever..

Whenever you go out with your boys or don't won't to be bothered with it, turn the vibrate beeper off....

If she pages you 10 times in one day, dump her she's a clinger and would never ever leave you alone....follow you like a puppy dog...go with you to the store...games...everywhere(You'll never have any space)

My wife likes to spend time with me as well, but I have my space...(Computer time, where I am not to be disturbed) This works usually.
 
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