Twista
Diamond Member
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Dam, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair )
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special? )
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how? )
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(However, it's "just" a suggestion. )
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
( Well...it's a little late for that huh )
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought...? )
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Childrens' Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts. )
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(No sh!t why the fvuk else would I take this?? )
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what? )
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious. )
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one. )
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere? )
(Dam, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair )
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special? )
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how? )
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(However, it's "just" a suggestion. )
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
( Well...it's a little late for that huh )
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(And you thought...? )
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Childrens' Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts. )
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(No sh!t why the fvuk else would I take this?? )
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what? )
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious. )
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one. )
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere? )
