- Oct 9, 1999
- 12,513
- 49
- 91
Jayson Stark column
It all started so innocently.
Last May, Curt Schilling gave up two home runs in one game to his former teammate, Philles outfielder Doug Glanville. Afterward, Glanville explained that outburst with this fairly unique quote:
"Curt's a friend of mine. We used to play video games together. He killed one of my characters one time. I never forgot that."
We made the mistake of asking for more information. Now, about 12 columns later, we're afraid no one may ever forget that.
Turned out Glanville and Schilling are hooked on the hot online war game, EverQuest. Schilling thinks Glanville is an online wimp. Glanville thinks Schilling is a barbaric cheater. And we've been hearing about it for 11 months.
But just when we thought this scene had quieted down, along came the folks from Sony Online, the corporate father of EverQuest, to fire it back up again. Inspired by Week in Review's coverage, the Sony people invited Schilling and Glanville to battle each other last week in an official Event, with actual witnesses.
So the next thing we knew, Glanville reported to Week in Review he'd just finished "mopping the floor" with Schilling on the computerized battlefield, with an assist from Phillies catcher Todd Pratt, whom he'd invited along.
Sounded simple enough -- until Schilling's version was a slightly different: "Doug got the beating he deserved." According to Schilling, Glanville induced him into a battle with Pratt -- and only then "backstabbed me like the true, leaf-eating wuss he is."
There was something in there about how Glanville did later beat him one-on-one. But that, Schilling alibied, was due to a "computer glitch."
Well, we were more than happy to leave it at that and move on to some inside-baseball type material. But would they let us? No.
Glanville admits to shooting Schilling "in his spineless back" while Schilling and Pratt were going at it. But he also accused Schilling of trying "to assault me while I was reading my book of spells in peace." Whereupon Glanville claims he "lashed and thrashed him" and disrobed him three times.
The only time Glanville recalled actually being defeated by Schilling, he said, was "after the Game Masters equipped him with some sort of illegal Chinese Star that was made famous from its killling of the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot."
And that was pretty much how it happened, we were sure. Until we heard from Schilling again. He called Glanville's elf "a scar to the entire Elvish race." And as for that Chinese Star stuff?
"Man," Schilling grumbled, "the Elves have incredible imaginations. Give them that. What occurred here was your basic barehanded beating, administered by none other than (Schilling's famous character) Scythehands Voxslayer, the deadliest pair of knuckles in Norrath, plain and simple.
"He can spin it any way he wants," Schilling concluded. "But over the speaker phone, I could hear the moaning."
The only moaning we've heard from Glanville, however, was about Schilling's underhanded war-mongering. And after 11 months of this, we have no idea whom to believe. So if anyone out there was a witness to this computerized mayhem, tell us who you think won by writing us here. And we'll get this mess decided once and for all.
With any luck.
It all started so innocently.
Last May, Curt Schilling gave up two home runs in one game to his former teammate, Philles outfielder Doug Glanville. Afterward, Glanville explained that outburst with this fairly unique quote:
"Curt's a friend of mine. We used to play video games together. He killed one of my characters one time. I never forgot that."
We made the mistake of asking for more information. Now, about 12 columns later, we're afraid no one may ever forget that.
Turned out Glanville and Schilling are hooked on the hot online war game, EverQuest. Schilling thinks Glanville is an online wimp. Glanville thinks Schilling is a barbaric cheater. And we've been hearing about it for 11 months.
But just when we thought this scene had quieted down, along came the folks from Sony Online, the corporate father of EverQuest, to fire it back up again. Inspired by Week in Review's coverage, the Sony people invited Schilling and Glanville to battle each other last week in an official Event, with actual witnesses.
So the next thing we knew, Glanville reported to Week in Review he'd just finished "mopping the floor" with Schilling on the computerized battlefield, with an assist from Phillies catcher Todd Pratt, whom he'd invited along.
Sounded simple enough -- until Schilling's version was a slightly different: "Doug got the beating he deserved." According to Schilling, Glanville induced him into a battle with Pratt -- and only then "backstabbed me like the true, leaf-eating wuss he is."
There was something in there about how Glanville did later beat him one-on-one. But that, Schilling alibied, was due to a "computer glitch."
Well, we were more than happy to leave it at that and move on to some inside-baseball type material. But would they let us? No.
Glanville admits to shooting Schilling "in his spineless back" while Schilling and Pratt were going at it. But he also accused Schilling of trying "to assault me while I was reading my book of spells in peace." Whereupon Glanville claims he "lashed and thrashed him" and disrobed him three times.
The only time Glanville recalled actually being defeated by Schilling, he said, was "after the Game Masters equipped him with some sort of illegal Chinese Star that was made famous from its killling of the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot."
And that was pretty much how it happened, we were sure. Until we heard from Schilling again. He called Glanville's elf "a scar to the entire Elvish race." And as for that Chinese Star stuff?
"Man," Schilling grumbled, "the Elves have incredible imaginations. Give them that. What occurred here was your basic barehanded beating, administered by none other than (Schilling's famous character) Scythehands Voxslayer, the deadliest pair of knuckles in Norrath, plain and simple.
"He can spin it any way he wants," Schilling concluded. "But over the speaker phone, I could hear the moaning."
The only moaning we've heard from Glanville, however, was about Schilling's underhanded war-mongering. And after 11 months of this, we have no idea whom to believe. So if anyone out there was a witness to this computerized mayhem, tell us who you think won by writing us here. And we'll get this mess decided once and for all.
With any luck.
But interesting read nonetheless even though I have no idea what they're talking about 
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