Things you learned from video games

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L

LOLyourFace

Banned
Jun 1, 2002
4,543
0
0
general FPS:
1. Picking up medkits will instantly heal your wounds and reverse your dying process.
2. Even if your health point is 1, you still feel perfectly fine until you really die.
3. You never fvcking sleep.

StarCraft:
1. A marine can withstand a direct siege explosion from the siege canon
2. A group of 12 marines on drugs (stimpack) can successfully take down a stadium-sized flying fortress (Battlecruiser)

Warcraft:
1. One peasant with 2000 pounds of gold and 2000 pounds of lumber can build a fvcking civilization in matter of hours, and the buildings have sex with themselves thus giving birth to various other men, already aged, ready to fight.

general brawl games:
1. Don't worry if you die, there's always round 2.
2. You can ALWAYS jump AT LEAST 5 times your height.
 
R

RaynorWolfcastle

Diamond Member
Feb 8, 2001
8,968
16
81
If ever I'm on the verge of death because I was shot a dozen times in the chest, I can always chew a few painkillers, afterwards I'll be as good as new
 
N

nan0bug

Banned
Apr 22, 2003
3,142
0
0
Huge wooden crates are always a stylish and functional way to fill empty spaces, whether the empty space is in a warehouse, office building, or home.
 
T

TheBoyBlunder

Diamond Member
Apr 25, 2003
5,742
1
0
There is never an admin around when you need one.

There are always idiots that will try to kill you when you're on their team.
 
I

IEatChildren

Senior member
Jul 4, 2003
750
0
0
That in 2199, in an attempt to control violence among deep space miners the New Earth Government legalized no-holds-barred fighting...
 
D

DXM

Senior member
Jul 26, 2003
264
0
0
The Mario brothers are commie, freedom hating, filthy I-talian-Americans (Simpsons reference ;)).
 
B

Broohaha

Banned
Jan 4, 2001
3,973
0
0
/pre-1995

if you so much as TOUCH an enemy character, you will either get closer to death or die altogether.
 
P

pennylane

Diamond Member
Apr 28, 2002
6,077
1
0
To beat yourself up press "down R up L y b" and you can fight a clone of yourself except that clone will be wearing different colors.
 
N

notfred

Lifer
Feb 12, 2001
38,241
4
0
Have a bad back? No problem. If you want to pick something up off the floor, just step on it and it'll jump into your hand.
 
A

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: LOLyourFace
general FPS:
1. Picking up medkits will instantly heal your wounds and reverse your dying process.
2. Even if your health point is 1, you still feel perfectly fine until you really die.
3. You never fvcking sleep.

StarCraft:
1. A marine can withstand a direct siege explosion from the siege canon
2. A group of 12 marines on drugs (stimpack) can successfully take down a stadium-sized flying fortress (Battlecruiser)

Warcraft:
1. One peasant with 2000 pounds of gold and 2000 pounds of lumber can build a fvcking civilization in matter of hours, and the buildings have sex with themselves thus giving birth to various other men, already aged, ready to fight.

general brawl games:
1. Don't worry if you die, there's always round 2.
2. You can ALWAYS jump AT LEAST 5 times your height.
Click to expand...


Not true! Remember in Doom your face turned all bloody and your screams got louder :D

 
anxi80

anxi80

Lifer
Jul 7, 2002
12,294
2
0
if you kill 5 people in succession, you have a killing spree.

if you kill 10 people in a row, you are now on a rampage.

if you kill 15 people without dying, you are dominating!

if you kill 20 people, you become unstoppable!

and if you kill 25 people, you have achieved G O D L I K E !!!

then goto the system console and type 'sshot' or just 'hit print screen' to document your incredible feat.
 
Mermaidman

Mermaidman

Diamond Member
Sep 4, 2003
7,987
93
91
Originally posted by: anxi80
if you kill 5 people in succession, you have a killing spree.

if you kill 10 people in a row, you are now on a rampage.

if you kill 15 people without dying, you are dominating!

if you kill 20 people, you become unstoppable!

and if you kill 25 people, you have achieved G O D L I K E !!!

then goto the system console and type 'sshot' or just 'hit print screen' to document your incredible feat.
Click to expand...
And 5 kills in close succession gets you a M-M-M-MONSTERKILL!!!
 
Kaervak

Kaervak

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
8,460
2
81
That eating mushrooms and green leaves will make you bigger and give you the ability to fly.
50 golden rings will morph you into an indestructible high speed hedgehog, provided you've collected the seven stolen chaos emeralds.
15 seconds after alerting the guards of a high security installation, they will completely forget about you and go about their business.
After repeatedly smashing someone in the face with a crowbar or various other weapon while riding a sport bike at high speed, the rider will get back on their bike, chase you down and try for revenge. No matter how many times you hit them they'll keep coming back. Severe cranial trauma and all.
 
Legendary

Legendary

Diamond Member
Jan 22, 2002
7,019
1
0
Haha I was just about to come in with a "In order to achieve deity status, forget ambrosia, go waste 25 people in a row."
 
R

rgwalt

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2000
7,393
0
0
Remeber to check all the jars and the bushes for money when robbing someones home. Don't worry about breaking the jars, they owners will replace them.

Ryan
 
L

LOLyourFace

Banned
Jun 1, 2002
4,543
0
0
Originally posted by: apac
Originally posted by: LOLyourFace
general FPS:
1. Picking up medkits will instantly heal your wounds and reverse your dying process.
2. Even if your health point is 1, you still feel perfectly fine until you really die.
3. You never fvcking sleep.

StarCraft:
1. A marine can withstand a direct siege explosion from the siege canon
2. A group of 12 marines on drugs (stimpack) can successfully take down a stadium-sized flying fortress (Battlecruiser)

Warcraft:
1. One peasant with 2000 pounds of gold and 2000 pounds of lumber can build a fvcking civilization in matter of hours, and the buildings have sex with themselves thus giving birth to various other men, already aged, ready to fight.

general brawl games:
1. Don't worry if you die, there's always round 2.
2. You can ALWAYS jump AT LEAST 5 times your height.
Click to expand...


Not true! Remember in Doom your face turned all bloody and your screams got louder :D
Click to expand...

false, screams never got louder, only the portrait changed. you still move, shoot, reload and everything as perfectly as you can.
 
W

wizardbud

Member
Sep 11, 2003
32
0
0
I have learned this.

That at 48 years old (ancient) I am NEVER going to be even remotely compentent at any video game.
I have a PS2 that I bought primarily to play Madden 2004.
Broncos vs Anybody.
I consistently get beat by multiple touchdowns, most of them of the 40, 50, and even 70 yard variety.

Frustrated, I purchased NHL and NBA and MLB games and still get pounded mercilessly.
The only game at which I have any skill playing is Tiger Woods golf 2004 and "The Simpsons Road Rage"

I have Splinter Cell, MOH Frontline, Red Faction II, RTCW, SOCOM and numerous other games, and I suck equally at all of them.

I suck HORRIBLY at Vice City, so hideously bad that I have only been able to complete several missions after six months. I can't even get the stupid pizza delivery guy in the first few missions of the game.

I am much better at PC games as it seems that I am able to control those games with much more ability.
My favorite is Delta Force Blackhawk Down.

I find that the controllers for the PS2 games are much more difficult for me to master.
Especially driving and flying games.

Games where you have to move the left - right analog sticks at the same time are especially difficult for me.
Games where you have to react instantly and puch the correct sequence of buttons always leave me frustrated.
It pisses me off, because all of the people who work for me are big on PS2 games, and they finish a title in days.
I get stuck on an early level, get frustrated and give up and it takes me months to get halfway thru a game.

For awhile I thought I was suffering from some type of adult attention deficit disorder.
I could only play for a short time because I would get distracted.
Now I understand I can only play for a short time and I get distracted because I suck.

So what I have learned from video games is that... it's over for me.
I'm too freakin' old.
I know this, and I understand this, and I accept this, and yet I still buy new games when they come out in the hope that I will be magically good at one of them.

It never happens.







 
A

Amorphus

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2003
5,561
1
0
Originally posted by: Chraticn
Originally posted by: Legendary
Everything I do is, or should be, for Aiur!
Click to expand...

And we still don't know what "En Taro Adun" means.

"My life for aiur."

What a great game.
Click to expand...

"En Taro Adun" was explained somewhere. Adun was the founder of the Protoss religion, and En Taro Adun was some sort of encouragement/battlecry.

"My wife for hire" :D
 
O

OulOat

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2002
5,769
0
0
Originally posted by: Mermaidman
Originally posted by: anxi80
if you kill 5 people in succession, you have a killing spree.

if you kill 10 people in a row, you are now on a rampage.

if you kill 15 people without dying, you are dominating!

if you kill 20 people, you become unstoppable!

and if you kill 25 people, you have achieved G O D L I K E !!!

then goto the system console and type 'sshot' or just 'hit print screen' to document your incredible feat.
Click to expand...
And 5 kills in close succession gets you a M-M-M-MONSTERKILL!!!
Click to expand...

And if you knife someone, you get HU-HU-HU-HU-MILATION!!!
 
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