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Things not to say or do on an airplane

Raizinman

Raizinman

Platinum Member
There are many words that you cannot say on an airplane. Some are more severe than others. For example, you can easily get a plane diverted by saying the word 'BOMB'. Other words that could also cause a problem is:

Hijack
Fire
Terrorist

Other reasons of why you might get kicked off a plane.
Leaning your seat back.
Drinking too much.
Smell too bad.
Too fat for one seat
Too foul mouthed
Too Muslim
Refusing to sit next to someone of the opposite gender

and now, we have coughing too much (Possible Ebola) will get you kicked off a plane.

Each and everyone of the above are actual incidents that either diverted a plane or got one or more people kicked off a plane.

Air travel is not the fun it used to be.
 
oldsmoboat said:
It might have saved Dennil's life.
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I was on a flight to Vegas once and Discovery Channel was playing "Air Crash Disasters".

Lots of people were watching it. I thought it was weird. I watched it also.
 
"We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We fucking tried. OK? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole godamn plane! You happy now? I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is: "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camel non-filters, I'll see you on the ground." "

- Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Do they still even have the smoking/non-smoking light in planes these days? I haven't flown in a while.
 
Can't say I've ever been on a bad flight, though I don't fly very often. Crap is to be expected when you cram the lower class riffraff into an already overstuffed tin sausage. I see why people are willing to pay through the nose to take first class.

I'm still a but of an aviation buff, but if it comes to taking mass transportation, give me a ship or train any day of the week. No fuss boarding, costs about the same, triple A service, it's just slower.

oldsmoboat said:
It might have saved Dennil's life.
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Yeah, no shit.

The whole Ebola thing and the gov't is too chicken to slap a quarantine on people coming in from these countries.
 
CraKaJaX said:
"We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We fucking tried. OK? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole godamn plane! You happy now? I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is: "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camel non-filters, I'll see you on the ground." "

- Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Do they still even have the smoking/non-smoking light in planes these days? I haven't flown in a while.
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There is no smoking on all domestic flights and all international flights from/to the United States. Pretty sure all European and Asia flights are all non-smoking too.
 
CraKaJaX said:
"We tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We fucking tried. OK? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole godamn plane! You happy now? I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is: "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camel non-filters, I'll see you on the ground." "

- Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Do they still even have the smoking/non-smoking light in planes these days? I haven't flown in a while.
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New planes (2011-) don't have idiot no smoking light.
 
In 1998 I was returning from florida hospital to NYC after spending 2 weeks with my mother in ICU. I was not in a good to say the least. I had a 2pm flight to NYC which is just over 2 hours. Plane was 1 hour late, we get in the air and it starts raining. We diverted to north carolina and land, its now something like 8pm. We get on another plane which takes off and its really thundering now and raining so we keep circling the air and finally the captain says they are running low on fuel and that we are going to land in georgia and that there is a p-lane there that will be going straight to NYC. Its now 12 midnight and me and the other passengers are getting really pissed off. So we landed in georgia airport, get off the plane and the airport is pretty much deserted. We look around and find an employee and ask him wheres our plane. he just looks at us and says nothing. I go to him and say dude, where is a supervisor so we can get home. Again he looks at us stupidly. At this point I lose it and scream out "DO I HAVE TO BURN DOWN THE AIRPORT TO GET A SUPERVISOR HERE?"

Bad move as panels on the wall immediately opened and 400lb 6'6" guys just pop out of nowhere and claim I have made a terrorist threat and start reading me my rights and such. At this point all of the other passengers start yelling "LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO" then the massive cop/fbi/whateverthefuck guy talks into his ear piece and says "We have a riot situation here". Luckily the georgia state sherrif arrives and pulls me aside and asks what happened, so I calmly explain to him my past 2 weeks of stress and the whole sting of delayed flights and such. He understands that I am not a terrorist and tells me to apologize to the grunts as I do not want to spend a night in a georgia jail.

I apologize and make nice and the grunts say I can never fly this airline again and come to georgia blah blah blah blah..

The punchline? Not one grunt, cop, employee ever asked my name, never asked to show ID. Nothing. This was delta by the way and I flew delta back to florida 2 weeks later to take my son to disney.
 
JulesMaximus said:
There is no smoking on all domestic flights and all international flights from/to the United States. Pretty sure all European and Asia flights are all non-smoking too.
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I knew they are all non-smoking now, but I'm sure some (most?) have the no smoking, red line across cigarette sign up where the air vents are and stuff. I'm also assuming, so we know what that usually means. 😛

K1052 said:
By "a while" I presume you mean in the last 25 years.
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nah. being a non-smoker I guess I just never paid too much attention to it.
 
Last edited:
boy that was a great night at the brothel in Kinshasa


she did have a strange bleeding thing going on but w/e
 
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