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Thing you don't want to read on your kids report card.

J

Joyride

Golden Member
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded, but they are funny.

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a villiage somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

Enjoy.

This is the first time I have seen this so I hope it's not a repost. Screw it if it is
 


<< 6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. >>


i like this one....hehe...
 
next time I decide to show my parents my report card (but then i'd be depriving the garbage men of paper!) i'll include a copy of this story so they wont feel so bad about my intelligence (or lack of)
 


<< 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. >>



Soooo applicable to so many people...
 
This is an e-mail I got a while ago...similar


Here are some funny ones. These are taken from actual Federal employee
performance evaluations. The secretary at the lab passed it around, and I'm
a little bored right now so I'm typing them all in by hand to send to you
all. I hope you appreciate the work I'm putting into this. Anyways, there's
a couple on here that I think are really good. Find your favorites, and
ENJOY!


Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to
dig.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I would not allow this employee to breed.

This employee is really not so much of a has been, but more of a definite
won't be.

Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap.

When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

This employee should go far, and the sooner the better.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingee to hold it all together.

A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.

He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

He's been working with glue too much.

He would argue with a signpost.

He has a knack for making strangers immediately.

He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.

If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens.

A prime candidate for natural deselection.

Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm.

One neuron short of a synapse.

Some drink form the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 minutes.

The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
 


<< Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. >>


Ah fond memories 😀
 
I have a hard time believing these are "actual comments" put on report cards or employee evaluations, but they're funny regardless.
 
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