Originally posted by: Sketcher
My wife and I have spend a lot of time teaching our kids how to behave in public. 90% of the time they're quiet, respectful and stay within reach (3yr & 19month old daughters). But they're kids, who healthily push the envelope and learn things the way kids do. Sometimes the environment and circumstance doesn't allow for letting the kids learn at their pace and keep your eye/hand on them every second. Sometimes it's our responsibility to know it's not a good idea to take the kids out in difficult places when they haven't had naps, food or have not been behaving. And sometimes you just can't keep your kids settled and respectful and you have to get things done anyway.
Something that has been difficult but worth the effort is following through on consequences. Make sure the consequences you warn your kids with are ones you're willing to follow through on. One day during a trip to the zoo, my kids wouldn't stop throwing tantrums. I warned them that if they didn't settle down immediately that we'd turn around and go home. Well, the kids even at their age didn't for a second believe that Dad would actually turn around and go home - they could already see the signs directing us the last mile to the zoo. I pulled the car over and when ten seconds passed without a change in attitude I turned around and we went home. My oldest screamed to Mom that we were going the wrong way and five minutes later she finally settled down and even apologized, asking if we could go back now that she was good. Unfortunately for her, Dad wanted to make sure the lesson was learned and clearly made. We went home. My wife was shocked at first that I actually canceled the trip to the zoo which we'd planned and excitedly talked with the kids about for a couple weeks. Now my kids listen when I give them choices. I don't threaten so much as enable their decisions. But they know that I mean what I say. For the most part, those kinds of lessons really only need to be learned once.
We haven't had to yet but we wouldn't hesitate to use a wrist leash or harness if the situation warranted its use. Far better to have your child safe and within reach than compromise their safety for all the stupid "sensitivity" and "they're not animals" bs touted above. When I first saw a mother with three kids on harnesses at the State Fair last year it struck me as odd and I admit my initial reaction was one of disproval. Thinking on it a bit longer, and seeing that the Mom and her kids were able to enjoy the State Fair among thousands of people and not fear losing each other... Pretty damned smart way to go. If that Mom abided by the dumbass drivel that some of you criers sport, that mom wouldn't have been able to spend the day with her kids at the fair and keep her or the kids's sanity doing it.
