• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

The world's funniest joke -- official

Funny and short. 🙂

this one's even better:

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"


HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."


TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
 
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The man then replies: '"Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
Click to expand...
That one made me chuckle. 🙂
 
"What's brown and sticky? A stick."

Oh geez.
rolleye.gif
 
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?'


"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"


LOL
 
"Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'

"The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.

"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'

"The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'"

LOL
 
Now Canadians laughing the least I can fathom... but Germans laughing the most? That's not too likely, given my superficial, movie-sterotype knowledge of those straightlaced German folks.

And while I was pleased to see that that headline was official, it was not confirmed, so the jury may still be out...

-geoff
 
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."


I saw this on a bumper sticker the other day.
 
-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."


Researchers said no one ever found it funny
Click to expand...

I laughed 🙂

The best of course is the grandfather joke, although I think that came from one of Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts.
 
Kinda funny. Though I'm not supposed to laugh, I'm Canadian, right? Wouldn't want anyone to think the polite Canadian laughed at an offensive joke.

Then again, I could fill a page with quasi-offensive bumper sticker one-liner humour.

Impotence - Nature's way of saying "Out of the gene pool!"

- M4H

 
"Here is a funny joke, You'll all get a kick out of this like i did, pretty sickening"

Keep in mind this is a West Virginia Joke, inbreeders, heh

One day a lil innocent girl from West Virginia walked up to her dad and asked if she could borrow the keys to his car this weekend to have a nice trip with her lovely new boyfriend up by the lake.

The dad says "Sure Honey, but you know the routine" So the lil girl drops to her knees and pulls out her fathers &&$%$# and starts to suck on it.

She then has a puzzled look on her face and STOPS. Looks up at her dad and says:
"Eww daddy, this taste like CRAP!"

Her dad then gets a FORGETFUL Surprise look on his face, smacks himself in the head and says,
"I'm sorry honey, I forgot i let your brother borrow the car this weekend"

Get it?
Ewwwwwww.
Heh
 
Originally posted by: Carbonyl
Funny and short. 🙂

this one's even better:

TEXAN: "Where are you from?"


HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."


TEXAN: "OK -- where are you from, jackass?"
Click to expand...


I agree, that was the funniest out of the bunch.

 
Originally posted by: AceForSale
"Here is a funny joke, You'll all get a kick out of this like i did, pretty sickening"

Keep in mind this is a West Virginia Joke, inbreeders, heh

One day a lil innocent girl from West Virginia walked up to her dad and asked if she could borrow the keys to his car this weekend to have a nice trip with her lovely new boyfriend up by the lake.

The dad says "Sure Honey, but you know the routine" So the lil girl drops to her knees and pulls out her fathers &&$%$# and starts to suck on it.

She then has a puzzled look on her face and STOPS. Looks up at her dad and says:
"Eww daddy, this taste like CRAP!"

Her dad then gets a FORGETFUL Surprise look on his face, smacks himself in the head and says,
"I'm sorry honey, I forgot i let your brother borrow the car this weekend"

Get it?
Ewwwwwww.
Heh
Click to expand...


Now if this doesn't get you a permanent vacation, I don't know what will.
 
Many European countries, such as France, Denmark and Belgium, displayed a penchant for off-beat surreal humour, while Americans and Canadians preferred jokes where there was a strong sense of superiority -- either because a character looks stupid or is made to look stupid by someone else.
Click to expand...
You Canadians have lost your right to ridicule Americans!
 
These jokes are all very funny, but it is well established fact that the funniest joke ever made was developed in Britain during WW2. It was part of a British secret weapons developement program and was so funny that whoever heard it would die!!




😉
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top