The South

tyler811

Diamond Member
Jan 27, 2002
5,385
0
71
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"





Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."






Louisiana

A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana . " When asked why, he replied, "I 'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."






Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."






North Carolina

NEWS FLASH! - North Carolina 's worst air disaster occurred! When a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of North Carolina students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today.. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.






South Carolina

A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.. I never did understand it neither."






Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"






Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."


 

KentState

Diamond Member
Oct 19, 2001
8,397
393
126
Being a northerner and moving to the south, I can say that stupid people are everyone. At least down here, they are nice to you.
 

Beev

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2006
7,775
0
0
Man I love making fun of the south. Their accent cracks me up so much. Can you possibly sound anymore inbred and ignorant?
 

Platypus

Lifer
Apr 26, 2001
31,046
321
136
well actually they are not funny but it gets my post wise and beautiful woman higher

quoted for lulz.

ps thanks for this thread, I think my gmail auto deleted this from my spam box and I really missed out on some great, cutting edge humor here.
 

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
34,834
2,010
126
Man I love making fun of the south. Their accent cracks me up so much. Can you possibly sound anymore inbred and ignorant?

Yeah, those mid-south accents are pretty rough. Like most everything else in the South, the accents are better along the coast. :p
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
9/10

I'll try...
KENTUCKY
Bob, Bill and Gary were watching the TV when Bob screamed "I'm having a heart attack! Call 911!" and keeled over clutching his chest. Gary with a somewhat panicked looked on his face asked Bill what in the world are they going to do? Bill said calmly - "Let's wait until half time. Dude, it's the UK/UL basketball game, Bob would understand."
 

El Guaraguao

Diamond Member
May 7, 2008
3,468
5
81
Man I love making fun of the south. Their accent cracks me up so much. Can you possibly sound anymore inbred and ignorant?

despite of regional segregation, we are all still human. Im a brooklyn native living in the south. its almost like living during the civil war times. everwhere i worked, i always get called a yankee. which i have no problem being called that, which makes no sense. but god damn, were all humans, cut this shit out and lets work together!

PEACE!
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,864
31,359
146
hmmm, not sure where you're from, but I'd wager that all of the South is better from whatever shit hole spit you out.
 

El Guaraguao

Diamond Member
May 7, 2008
3,468
5
81
hmmm, not sure where you're from, but I'd wager that all of the South is better from whatever shit hole spit you out.


bitch! i said I was from brooklyn. as in brooklyn, NY. this is prime example why the south has a bad rep. your post only reinforces why the south gets a bad rap! reading comprehension FAIL!
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,864
31,359
146
Man I love making fun of the south. Their accent cracks me up so much. Can you possibly sound anymore inbred and ignorant?

Well, if you dabled a bit in linguistics, you'd know that there is absolutely no correlation to one's dialect and their intelligence. Let alone the collective intelligence of an entire region.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,864
31,359
146
bitch! i said I was from brooklyn. as in brooklyn, NY. this is prime example why the south has a bad rep. your post only reinforces why the south gets a bad rap! reading comprehension FAIL!

was referring to the OP. good luck there, brah.

you sound like you're still in high school. amirite?
 

Beev

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2006
7,775
0
0
Well, if you dabled a bit in linguistics, you'd know that there is absolutely no correlation to one's dialect and their intelligence. Let alone the collective intelligence of an entire region.

Oh I know. I'm not saying they ARE inbred/ignorant. My father lives in Georgia and when I visit him I always remember how awesome and friendly all of the people are.
 

El Guaraguao

Diamond Member
May 7, 2008
3,468
5
81
was referring to the OP. good luck there, brah.

you sound like you're still in high school. amirite?

lmao, i really ought to put disclaimers in my threads. but I went ahead and jumped the gun assuming you were responding to my thread. BUT! thats my fault!

as for youre "you sound like your're still in high school. amirite?" comment..no, i graduated that shit over 10 years ago. maybe im dumb as a rock, but i dont know how you were able to determine my education from a post. but its all cool. i promote peace, not hate.
 

zinfamous

No Lifer
Jul 12, 2006
111,864
31,359
146
lmao, i really ought to put disclaimers in my threads. but I went ahead and jumped the gun assuming you were responding to my thread. BUT! thats my fault!

as for youre "you sound like your're still in high school. amirite?" comment..no, i graduated that shit over 10 years ago. maybe im dumb as a rock, but i dont know how you were able to determine my education from a post. but its all cool. i promote peace, not hate.

lulz.

:beer;
 

Kirby

Lifer
Apr 10, 2006
12,028
2
0
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