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SSP

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
17,736
0
0
President Clinton to Marge: I know you think your not good enough for me. But the truth is you are. Hell I've done it with pigs. :D



Wheres my elephant!
 

snakesnfrogs

Banned
Mar 1, 2001
3,411
0
0
Apu: "It may not be glamorous, but it's good honest work"

"How much is this quart of milk?"

Apu: "12.00"

-----------------------------------

Apu: "Please do not offer my god a peanut"



 

MrCodeDude

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
13,674
1
76
Poperatzi: We have a reason to believe that you spent the town's funding money on a new pool for yourself. It should be right behind those two doors.
*Opens Doors*
Mayor Quimby: Oh now, how did that get there?

-- mrcodedude
 

johneetrash

Diamond Member
Jan 3, 2001
3,791
0
0


<< teacher: nap time everyone
ralph wiggum: oh boy, sleep! that's where i'm a viking!
>>



that's so wrong :)

ralph: umm ms hoover?
ms hoover: yes ralph what is it
ralph: my worm went in my mouth and then i ate it cna i have a new one?
ms hoover: no ralph there arent anymore.. just try to sleep while the other women are learning
ralph: alright sleep! tahts where im a viking!


-----

how bout this...

mr burns: what do you think smithers?
smithers: i think women and seamen dont mi x
mr burns: we know what you think...
 

gotigers

Junior Member
Jun 13, 2001
15
0
0
Gangster1: Micki &quot;tightlips&quot;, where are you shot?
Micki: I ain't sayin' nothin'
Gangster1: What do we tell the doctor?
Micki: Tell him to go suck a lemon.
 

Pyro

Banned
Sep 2, 2000
1,483
0
0
&quot;I know I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're out there, PLEASE SAVE ME, Superman!&quot;


 

brinstar117

Senior member
Mar 28, 2001
954
4
91
(episode from when Apu was ridiculously overcharging customers)

Disgruntled Customer (snatches twinkie from store display[i/]): This is what I think of your store! (Grabs Twinkie from store display, twists + crumples package then throws it violently on to the floor, then angrily walks away )

Apu: Silly customer! You cannot hurt a twinkie! (time delay, then twinkie pops back to original shape[i/] )
 

Pastfinder

Platinum Member
Jul 2, 2000
2,352
0
0
Trillion Dollar Bill episode
President Truman: &quot;American tax dollars will help our allies who fought so poorly, and surrendered so readily&quot;
 

apothos

Member
Jun 28, 2001
54
0
0
My cat's breath smells like cat food. - Raplh
Uhh, no you got the wrong number, this is 9-1-2. - Chief Wiggum
 

isildur

Golden Member
Jan 3, 2001
1,509
0
76
Burns: Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Uh... if YOU did it, sir...?



Lisa: I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly on your own butt.


Homer: Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!

Ah, the joy that Matt Groening has brought to our lives...
 

amnesiac

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
15,781
1
71
Mr. Burns: &quot;As punishment for your desertion, it's company policy to give you the plague...&quot;
 

kbm5

Banned
Feb 22, 2001
634
0
0
Grandpa Simpson: Quick! We have to kill the boy!
Marge: How'd you know he was a vampire?
Grandpa Simpson: He's a Vampire? AAGGGHHH!! (Runs away)
 

AppleTalking

Golden Member
Dec 15, 2000
1,316
0
0
I love threads like this. :D

Here are a few of my favorites:

From the episode about the Stonecutters (on my Top 10 list):

Homer: So anyway, Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesdays and they don't tell me where they go. It's like a conspiracy.

Bart:A conspiracy, eh? You think they might be involved in the Kennedy assassination in some way?

Homer: I do . . . now. Anyway, I'm going to follow them tonight and see where they go.

Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?

Homer: Well, something did!!

Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.

Homer: Oh, OK, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. [gets up from the table]. I'm . . . going outside . . . to stalk . . . Lenny and Carl . . . DOH!!

:D :D :D
 

jaybert

Diamond Member
Mar 6, 2001
3,523
0
0
its good to have all 12 seasons of the simpsons including the tracy ullman episodes in .mpgs within downloading distance.....55gb of pure simpsons love :)
 

Civ88

Member
Apr 26, 2001
97
0
0
Jaybert: You wouldn't happen to have an FTP site would you? :D


Milhouse: remember alf? He's back.....in pog form.

-CIV
 

RalphWiggum

Senior member
Feb 20, 2001
466
0
0
Yah, Jaybert, if you got an ftp please let me know. I can't get enough of seasons 3-6 and the rest is good too...



Bart: Dad, you just killed the zombie Flanders!

Homer: He was a zombie?

 

AppleTalking

Golden Member
Dec 15, 2000
1,316
0
0
Here's a couple more I remembered:

From the episode about The Slaughterhouse (also on my Top 10 list):

Homer: So I told the nurse, you can take your free Tetanus and shove it. His jaw locks as he finishes his sentence. He takes a fork and pries it back open.

Marge: But you still haven't told us why Lenny bit you.

From the episode where the Simpsons go to Floria (again, it's on my Top 10 list ;)):

Homer's afraid that he's going to die after he takes a lifestyle quiz in a magazine that says he's only going to live for 3 more years. He's sitting in front of the television watching Charlie Rose interview producer Robert Evans:

Homer: Can't sleep -- gonna die. Can't sleep -- gonna die.

Rose: We're back with legendary producer Robert Evans. Now, before you did &quot;The Godfather,&quot; there was &quot;Love Story.&quot; tell us about that.

Evans: Ah, &quot;Love Story&quot; -- the little picture that could. Was Paramount chomping at the bit to make it. Heh heh, you better believe they weren't. But once that tear-jerker hit John Q. Popcorn, it was boffo-boo-boo box office all the way.

Rose: And the critics loved it, too. I remember Vincent Canby said, [looks straight at Homer] &quot;I'm going to kill you, Homer. You are so dead.&quot;

Homer screams.

Rose: Now &quot;Chinatown&quot; was a classic, but you had problems with the sequel, &quot;The Two Jakes?&quot;

Evans: Oh, boy. Disappointed? I had the blues like Chasen's had chili. I said to myself, &quot;Evans, you forgot Hollywood rule number 1: [he looks straight at Homer again]: Kill Homer Simpson.&quot;

Of course, the part where he goes to see the plant psychiatrist is just hysterical too.

Psychiatrist: You hate your father don't you?

Homer: Kinda, but the man I really hate is your father.

Psychiatrist: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I was just venting. I think your fear of death is causing your insomnia which is causing your erratic behavior.

Homer holds up a plastic baby doll that's missing an arm.

Homer: Then why isn't my baby gaining any weight.

Psychiatrist: Because it's made of plastic.

Homer: I see.

Psychiatrist: What you need is a good long rest. I suggest Florida.

Homer: Florida? But that's America's wang!

Psychiatrist: They prefer the sunshine state.

:D :D :D

Nick