The Secret

[Doggiedog]

Read the review by Ari Brouillette

 

[effowe]

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.

At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.

My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be anally raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.

Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.

The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.

The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

 

[scott916]

LOL. A buddy of mine is ALL into this now, it's gotten fairly old.

 

[loup garou]

perfect

:laugh:

 

[DomS]

hahahhaha

 

[Anubis]

thats gold jerry
GOLD

 

[preslove]

I love how it's the "The most helpful favorable review."

Everyone click on yes to keep this thing where it is

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: Anubis
thats gold jerry
GOLD

my thoughts exactly, even if I saw it coming.

 

[queenrobot]

That was great! I needed a good laugh.

 

[KeithTalent]

Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

 

[FoBoT]

that was funny

 

[Babbles]

Awesome!

 

[AnitaPeterson]

Thanks for the laugh! I actually talked about this book with a friend of mine, a few days ago... I was expressing my doubts regarding its value... I guess I stand corrected now

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

LOL, this guy's awesome. i love his review for the bucket.

i love the customer comments on his review as well.

 

[Doggiedog]

Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson
Thanks for the laugh! I actually talked about this book with a friend of mine, a few days ago... I was expressing my doubts regarding its value... I guess I stand corrected now

Did yours come with a shiv?

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: AnitaPeterson
Thanks for the laugh! I actually talked about this book with a friend of mine, a few days ago... I was expressing my doubts regarding its value... I guess I stand corrected now

Yeah that law of attraction stuff is damn stupid. The usual argument I like against it involves people in Darfur, or regions of Africa where there is constant war, and rape gangs are a constant problem. Those silly "victims," if only they'd stop thinking all these negative thoughts about dying or being tortured, then all these problems would simply go away.
I once chanced upon a bit of the movie that goes along with it. It's like some bad infomercial that takes itself seriously.

 

[zinfamous]

It's gold Jerry, Gold!

:laugh:

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

LOL, this guy's awesome. i love his review for the bucket.

i love the customer comments on his review as well.

lol yea

I found this review very unhelpful. I recently took a long journey on a pleasure yacht which was overtaken by pirates. Having read Ari's review, I quickly raced down into my stateroom to recover my copy of The Secret and turned to Chapter 6. Alas, no shiv, whereby I was shortly apprehended by the Captain and his fearsome crew. Apparently, in some books the shiv is embedded in Chapter 7, I was informed as I walked the plank. I currently reside in the belly of a huge whale.

 

[Oil]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

The highly versatile Dover Parkerburg 610 2- Gallon Galvanized Metal Water Bucket was recommended to me by my neighbor Jim Anchower. Jim is something of an amateur consumer products testing buff and assured me that when it came to galvanized buckets the Dover Parkersburg reigns supreme! Jim had previously turned me on to the the Swiffer WetJet Mop Total Cleaning System and the Hoover Quik-Broom S2561 so I knew he wouldn't [mess] around when it came to my metal bucket needs. At first glance the Dover Parkerburg 610 is clearly a step above the competition, the smooth galvanized exterior is indicative of the more modern electrocoat process which produces much less surface bubbling and insures a uniform surface. Jagged Edges? Not on this baby! Also of note are the two horizontal ripples which are placed 6 inches from the base. A simple structural analysis and crush test showed the slight corragative additions to be more than simple decorations, they actually produce an increase in tensile strength of 35.8% when compared to smooth walled galvanized buckets of the same carrying capacity. Although I have used the Dover Parkerburg less since installing our new fangled "Water Closet", I display it with pride, knowing that I own the best 2 gallon galvanized bucket in town.

:laugh:

 

[darkxshade]

I kinda saw that coming a mile away.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

LOL, this guy's awesome. i love his review for the bucket.

i love the customer comments on his review as well.

The highly versatile Dover Parkerburg 610 2- Gallon Galvanized Metal Water Bucket was recommended to me by my neighbor Jim Anchower. Jim is something of an amateur consumer products testing buff and assured me that when it came to galvanized buckets the Dover Parkersburg reigns supreme! Jim had previously turned me on to the the Swiffer WetJet Mop Total Cleaning System and the Hoover Quik-Broom S2561 so I knew he wouldn't [mess] around when it came to my metal bucket needs.
...

Jim Anchower is a recurring name/character in The Onion. Either this guy is an avid reader, or he writes for them. I'll take the latter, Pat.

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: Fayd

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Damn, most of his reviews are pretty awesome: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/m...%5Fby=MostRecentReview

KT

LOL, this guy's awesome. i love his review for the bucket.

i love the customer comments on his review as well.

The highly versatile Dover Parkerburg 610 2- Gallon Galvanized Metal Water Bucket was recommended to me by my neighbor Jim Anchower. Jim is something of an amateur consumer products testing buff and assured me that when it came to galvanized buckets the Dover Parkersburg reigns supreme! Jim had previously turned me on to the the Swiffer WetJet Mop Total Cleaning System and the Hoover Quik-Broom S2561 so I knew he wouldn't [mess] around when it came to my metal bucket needs.
...

Jim Anchower is a recurring name/character in The Onion. Either this guy is an avid reader, or he writes for them. I'll take the latter, Pat.

Damn funny either way.

KT

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: DomS
hahahhaha

 

[Doggiedog]

Friend of mine tried his hand at a review