Originally posted by: dcdomain
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The Root of All Evil resides in my driveway. It has caused many to trip, 3 or more motorcycles and their riders to fall over, and only last Friday it?s Mephistophelean influence nearly caused a young lady to fall face-first onto a jagged rock in front of two greasy hillbilly?s. Lucifer himself inhabits this menace to safety. The true nature of this odious radicle was confirmed when the first picture caught him unprepared and evidenced the vile corruption of his Satanic presence.
Indeed, the dark pit of Acheron is located within this fibrous vessel, which could explain Dante?s description of Hell as having rings.
I don?t know why the Foul Fiend is suffused into this appendage of a 250 Ft. Ponderosa Pine, but I have chosen to exorcise him from my tree, and banish him from my yard for all eternity.
My early attempt to destroy this demonically permeated peril by fighting Hellfire with fire, was met with scorn, barely darkening a small portion of Gehenna?s gnarled outer skin.
I have unearthed the unholy infestation with blessed pick, smote the abomination with anointed ax, and deracinated the malignant growth with the uncontestable power of the rust-Holy Jeepster?s mighty winch.
Since I am not certain of the possibility of a mere mortal destroying the Root of All Evil, or if Good can exist without Evil, I shall leave this quandary for the minds of others. The Winner of the auction may attempt to destroy it, or continue to keep the Evil captured inside. In this case, I suggest sub-division into smaller bits of lesser evil, dicing it into units of the Cube Root of Evil, and burial at the four corners of the Earth.
The Root of All Evil is 40 inches long and weighs approximately 10 pounds.
I cannot guarantee that the evil manifestation will arrive with the Root, it may escape it's aluminum-foil bonds, become disincarnate, and possess the UPS driver.
Payment must be Pay Pal, US Currency, US Postal Money Order, The Pope?s hat, any Duesenberg in any condition, the original Batmobile, Antique toilet plungers, a genuine autographed Super Dave Osborn play set, a Spiro T. Agnew lunchbox, the safe return of all my missing socks and pens, a live Platypus, or Spock?s ears.
Shipping and handling will be $20.00
There will be NO sale to those outside of the USA, as most governments will not allow the importation of unspeakable evil, and I support the American Logger by refusing to ship unprocessed lumber overseas.
and there was a few accompanying pics of the root with satan growing out of it, and a crazy looking dude