The only natural food that never spoils

[Newbian]

meat can be extended by jerking

Does that mean some peoples penises will be functional years after the rest of the body is dead?

Zombie penis!!!

 

[darkxshade]

How long would meat last if you could freeze it near absolute zero?

 

[jupiter57]

Cattle won't spoil as long as you feed them.

LOL! Tell that to these spoiled rotten Bovine, they eat too GOOD:
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e187/jupiter57/PoolTractorCows005.jpg

 

[HamburgerBoy]

How long would meat last if you could freeze it near absolute zero?

I'll wager virtually indefinitely.

 

[Ksyder]

coconut oil

 

[shortylickens]

salt ?

Salt aint food. Its an essential mineral but you cant live on it.

Of course, I wouldnt try to live on honey either, but provided I kept active I think honey would help me survive longer than just salt.

 

[Farang]

Does that mean some peoples penises will be functional years after the rest of the body is dead?

Zombie penis!!!

that means they can be extended with jerking

 

[gorcorps]

Depends what you mean by spoil. Honey crystalizes and gets unusable with age, which I consider spoiled.

 

[SagaLore]

Cold pressed extra virgin olive oil.

 

[guyver01]

Honey is believed to be the only food that does not spoil.

Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found to still be edible.

 

[Crono]

Honey is believed to be the only food that does not spoil.

Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found to still be edible.

I wish I could verify that in person.

I want to go to Egypt, Israel, and Jordan as soon as Egypt is a little more stable.

 

[Howard]

Depends what you mean by spoil. Honey crystalizes and gets unusable with age, which I consider spoiled.

You can redissolve it. There's too much sugar in honey for it to get overtaken by bacteria.

 

[Howard]

Honey is believed to be the only food that does not spoil.

Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found to still be edible.

I'm pretty sure that's not how you check if something is edible.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Does hot sauce spoil?

 

[Crono]

Does hot sauce spoil?

Probably has similar shelf life as wine, since the primary ingredient is vinegar.

 

[Howard]

Does hot sauce spoil?

yes

 

[guyver01]

Honey crystalizes and gets unusable with age, which I consider spoiled.

According to The National Honey Board, honey stored in sealed containers can remain stable for decades and even centuries!

Viable honey has been found in pyramids over 5,000 years old.

 

[Ken g6]

Funny, honey stored at my house for a few years crystallizes. It can be re-heated to re-liquify it for awhile, but eventually it's pointless.

Edit: Redissove, you say? What, with water?

 

[arrfep]

meat can be extended by jerking

:Slow clap:
Truly great pun, good sir. :awe:

 

[zokudu]

I thought it was sugar?

 

[Crono]

I thought it was sugar?

It mostly is. It has some trace minerals and vitamins, but you wouldn't want to survive on the stuff for that long (though you probably could).

Honey is a mixture of sugars and other compounds. With respect to carbohydrates, honey is mainly fructose (about 38.5&#37 and glucose (about 31.0%),[1] making it similar to the synthetically produced inverted sugar syrup, which is approximately 48% fructose, 47% glucose, and 5% sucrose. Honey's remaining carbohydrates include maltose, sucrose, and other complex carbohydrates.[1] As with all nutritive sweeteners, honey is mostly sugars and contains only trace amounts of vitamins or minerals.[30][31] Honey also contains tiny amounts of several compounds thought to function as antioxidants, including chrysin, pinobanksin, vitamin C, catalase, and pinocembrin.[32][33][vague] The specific composition of any batch of honey depends on the flowers available to the bees that produced the honey.[30]

Typical honey analysis:[34]

Fructose: 38.2%
Glucose: 31.3%
Maltose: 7.1%
Sucrose: 1.3%
Water: 17.2%
Higher sugars: 1.5%
Ash: 0.2%
Other/undetermined: 3.2%

 

[dan4patriots]

meat can be extended by jerking

this

 

[tmc]

meat can be extended by jerking

as long as you have a good stimulant (catalyst?). LOL!

 

[Farang]

:Slow clap:
Truly great pun, good sir. :awe:

this was only my second best penis joke of the day

 

[OVerLoRDI]

meat can be extended by jerking

I see what you did there