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The oddest cover letter that I've ever sent for a job

S

slackerinabox

Lifer
So this clothing company is looking for someone to help them write thank you letters to customers. I sent my resume and then attached this goofy cover letter:

Hey Mike,

Can I call you Mike? Would you prefer Mikey? I should play it safe, this is supposed to be somewhat formal since I?m basically begging you for a job? So? Where were we, Michael? Wait, let?s start from scratch? A new proverbial sheet of battered loose leaf?..



Dear Michael,

I?d love to work with your company? I?ve heard of you through that grapevine (NY1 I think, though it?s not very hip to refer to NY1 as ?the grapevine?) and would give a testicle to work with you guys. OK, to be honest I?d like to remain the sole owner and proprietor of both of my testicles, but I?d be willing to work there for free (for a while at least)? Since I?m broke off my ass I?d say that my free labor is a sacrifice nearly as worthy as Jake Jr. Well, I suppose I could attach my resume ? I?ve worked for ?the man? (actually, a 300 pound cat loving female) for the past XX years so I?m not sure what use it is to you. Perhaps it?ll show that I can work under pressure (after all, what can be more forceful than a 300 pound cat loving female?). Thanks for even considering me?
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So my gf smacked me after reading the letter.. She asked me how I could even consider discussing my testicles with a possible employer.. I knew she was right - until I got a reply asking me to come in to check the place out 😉
 
Did you really get the job? Man, now if only all the other unemployed IT folks would use your Rezomay righting skeelz!
 
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
 
Originally posted by: flot
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
Click to expand...


Pull the proverbial stick out of your ass.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
So this clothing company is looking for someone to help them write thank you letters to customers. I sent my resume and then attached this goofy cover letter:

Hey Mike,

Can I call you Mike? Would you prefer Mikey? I should play it safe, this is supposed to be somewhat formal since I?m basically begging you for a job? So? Where were we, Michael? Wait, let?s start from scratch? A new proverbial sheet of battered loose leaf?..



Dear Michael,

I?d love to work with your company? I?ve heard of you through that grapevine (NY1 I think, though it?s not very hip to refer to NY1 as ?the grapevine?) and would give a testicle to work with you guys. OK, to be honest I?d like to remain the sole owner and proprietor of both of my testicles, but I?d be willing to work there for free (for a while at least)? Since I?m broke off my ass I?d say that my free labor is a sacrifice nearly as worthy as Jake Jr. Well, I suppose I could attach my resume ? I?ve worked for ?the man? (actually, a 300 pound cat loving female) for the past XX years so I?m not sure what use it is to you. Perhaps it?ll show that I can work under pressure (after all, what can be more forceful than a 300 pound cat loving female?). Thanks for even considering me?
Click to expand...


So my gf smacked me after reading the letter.. She asked me how I could even consider discussing my testicles with a possible employer.. I knew she was right - until I got a reply asking me to come in to check the place out 😉
Click to expand...

I call BS
 
Originally posted by: Kntx
Originally posted by: flot
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
Click to expand...


Pull the proverbial stick out of your ass.
Click to expand...

err...we did JUST THAT with crap cover letters. My job got one person who thought he was funny and boom..trashcan.. My boss didn't want any of it. He tells me that it is rather popular for people to put crap down. He gave me advice: "don't pull this sh!t when you look for another job..sigh"

btw i work as an entry level IT person at a medical lab biulding on the med school part of ucsd..
and i was just helping him sort out some resume's he's recieved for some entry level research assistant position...



but freedomsbeat..if you get the job...more power to you and good luck 🙂
 
Originally posted by: flot
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
Click to expand...

Al, but most companies would be too shallow to look beyond the cynicism and an realize that this coverletter tells you the exact same thing every other person't letterhead will tell you - NOTHING. At least we can gather that this person has a sense of humor and deserves at least a call.
 
Originally posted by: damiano
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
So this clothing company is looking for someone to help them write thank you letters to customers. I sent my resume and then attached this goofy cover letter:

Hey Mike,

Can I call you Mike? Would you prefer Mikey? I should play it safe, this is supposed to be somewhat formal since I?m basically begging you for a job? So? Where were we, Michael? Wait, let?s start from scratch? A new proverbial sheet of battered loose leaf?..



Dear Michael,

I?d love to work with your company? I?ve heard of you through that grapevine (NY1 I think, though it?s not very hip to refer to NY1 as ?the grapevine?) and would give a testicle to work with you guys. OK, to be honest I?d like to remain the sole owner and proprietor of both of my testicles, but I?d be willing to work there for free (for a while at least)? Since I?m broke off my ass I?d say that my free labor is a sacrifice nearly as worthy as Jake Jr. Well, I suppose I could attach my resume ? I?ve worked for ?the man? (actually, a 300 pound cat loving female) for the past XX years so I?m not sure what use it is to you. Perhaps it?ll show that I can work under pressure (after all, what can be more forceful than a 300 pound cat loving female?). Thanks for even considering me?
Click to expand...


So my gf smacked me after reading the letter.. She asked me how I could even consider discussing my testicles with a possible employer.. I knew she was right - until I got a reply asking me to come in to check the place out 😉
Click to expand...

I call BS
Click to expand...

No B.S. I didn't get the job, I have an interview this friday. To be fair, I checked the company's site out before hand. The site is filled with colorful humor and such so I thought that it would be appropriate... I think my offer to work for free during a trial period is what really got his attention. To clarify, the original ad that his company posted asked for "creative" cover letters (since the job is to write customers quirky thank you notes).

And guys, I wasn't trying for an IT job!
 
Originally posted by: flot
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
Click to expand...

Dude, are you unemployed and bitter? My gf told me the same exact thing.. "They're going to file a restraining order and then pin your resume up!" I guess I didn't really care... I've written other, more formal cover letters (based on templates) and will continue to do the same... I am in no way suggesting that people applying to IT jobs write cover letters talking about their genitalia.... But I saw a local news profile on the company and the staff and president (the person who I spoke to) seemed to be trendy/quirky and irrevant bunch... Their website was also pretty off-kilter... I took a gamble and it luckily paid off... If you really care about a job you should not take such a silly risk... So.. yeah, shut up!
 
Damn I would love to work for a company that needs quirky letter responses for customers. I and my life are full of strange events and happenings.
 
I found your cover letter amusing. How much stuffy business by the book can you take after awhile? You had an opportunity to stand out from the crowd in this unique situation and you took it plus you are sensible enough to realize this will not usually work in most instances. More power to you.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: flot
That is complete crap. Most companies, that would be an instant resume-in-the-trash and they'd pin up your cover letter in the lunchroom so everyone could make fun of you.
Click to expand...

Dude, are you unemployed and bitter? My gf told me the same exact thing.. "They're going to file a restraining order and then pin your resume up!" I guess I didn't really care... I've written other, more formal cover letters (based on templates) and will continue to do the same... I am in no way suggesting that people applying to IT jobs write cover letters talking about their genitalia.... But I saw a local news profile on the company and the staff and president (the person who I spoke to) seemed to be trendy/quirky and irrevant bunch... Their website was also pretty off-kilter... I took a gamble and it luckily paid off... If you really care about a job you should not take such a silly risk... So.. yeah, shut up!
Click to expand...

I think if you would have mentioned this at the beginning, then his answer would have been different. You were writing to the user. You knew this would grab their attention, because you knew your letter was what they were looking for. Most companies, though, don't and I would have been like "WTF?" and tossed it in the can if I would have gotten this same cover letter from someone. But, hey, I'm an accountant and everyone knows accountants have nooooooo sense of humor.
 
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