The number one reason people hate America, the number one reason is because of our religion.

Josh

Lifer
Mar 20, 2000
10,917
0
0
Americans worship money, we worship money. Seperate God from school, seperate God from work, seperate God from government but on your money it says in God we trust. All my life I've been looking for God and He's right in my pocket.

Americans worship money, and we all go to the same church the church of ATM, everywhere you look there's a new branch popping up... remind you about how much money you got and how much money you don't got. And if you got less than twenty dollars the machine won't even talk to you. The machine is like you better go see a teller. You ever go to a teller and try to take out eight dollars and fifty cents? Oh it's disgusting... oh man you gotta wait on that long ass line, people doing real transactions in front of you, you get on to the fucking front you fill out your form eight fifty. The fucking teller looks at it she look at you she looks at the check she don't even take the money out of the drawer she take it out of her pocket, "here you go get out of here."

And here's something man drugs are illegal but ATM machines are open twenty four hours a day. Twenty four hours a day. For who? Who the fuck is it open for? Have you ever taken out three hundred dollars at four o'clock in the morning for something positive. Shit when you press that machine at four o'clock in the morning I think a psychiatrist should pop up on the screen an go "c'mon man, save your money man. Don't buy drugs buy some rims. They spinning ***** they spinning they spinning ***** they spinning." Americans worship money. Shit you know why banks are closed on Sunday? Cos if they wasn't church would be empty.
 

andy04

Golden Member
Dec 14, 2006
1,000
0
76
ppl dont hate us they are jelous of us... those who cant make it here legally or know that they cant stay here for ever they are the only ones saying that they hate us...
the world still envys us.

these is not a single wise person in the world who wont give his left nut to be an American.
 

BlackTigers

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2006
4,491
2
71
Originally posted by: andy04
ppl dont hate us they are jelous of us... those who cant make it here legally or know that they cant stay here for ever they are the only ones saying that they hate us...
the world still envys us.

these is not a single wise person in the world who wont give his left nut to be an American.

oh sweet jesus this is going good places
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: BlackTigers
Originally posted by: andy04
ppl dont hate us they are jelous of us... those who cant make it here legally or know that they cant stay here for ever they are the only ones saying that they hate us...
the world still envys us.

these is not a single wise person in the world who wont give his left nut to be an American.

oh sweet jesus this is going good places

It's true. Every immigrant that I know working here, and there's plenty of them want to become citizens and stay here and think it's the greatest place on earth. Because of all the opportunity and success.
 

sdifox

No Lifer
Sep 30, 2005
100,951
18,107
126
Note to josh. When whatever you are on wears off, print the following out.

Checklist before I do ____ (insert favorite drug)

1. Turn off computer so I can't go on ATOT and post nonsense whilst I am under the influence
2. lock up the car keys in another room so I can't go out driving whilst I am under the influence
3. lock the front door so I can't wonder out whilst I am under the influence
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
Originally posted by: sdifox
Note to josh. When whatever you are on wears off, print the following out.

Checklist before I do ____ (insert favorite drug)

1. Turn off computer so I can't go on ATOT and post nonsense whilst I am under the influence
2. lock up the car keys in another room so I can't go out driving whilst I am under the influence
3. lock the front door so I can't wonder out whilst I am under the influence

4. Leave knives and pokemon cards near by
 

JohnCU

Banned
Dec 9, 2000
16,528
4
0
Originally posted by: Ns1
Originally posted by: sdifox
Note to josh. When whatever you are on wears off, print the following out.

Checklist before I do ____ (insert favorite drug)

1. Turn off computer so I can't go on ATOT and post nonsense whilst I am under the influence
2. lock up the car keys in another room so I can't go out driving whilst I am under the influence
3. lock the front door so I can't wonder out whilst I am under the influence

4. Leave knives and pokemon cards near by

5. profit!
 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
EDIT: It didn't work. :(

EDIT2: It's still not fucking working.



Fuck it.


And this dumb thread.
 

effowe

Diamond Member
Nov 1, 2004
6,012
18
81
As was pointed out before, this is Chris Rock's standup, but I just found something pertaining to this...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10103521/

MSNBC has a poll up right now asking if "In God We Trust" should be taken off the bills. When I voted it was an even 50-50.
 

imported_Baloo

Golden Member
Feb 2, 2006
1,782
0
0
It could be worse. That last time religion was integral with government, europe saw the dark ages, things like the spanish inquisition occurred, women accused of being witches were drowned (they were innocent if the drowned - only witches could survive), the Salem murders, literally millions of people were violently murdered all in the name of god. I could go on and on about the atrocities commited when the church was the governmet. They worshiped wrong god, to be sure, but even today people are unclear on the difference. There is a compelling and necessary reason to seperate church from state.

Edit: Oh, I missed it, the OP was trying to be funny.