The Nerdiest Thread You'll Read All Week

[Paladin3]

I know, I know, threads like this get nerds pushed down stairs by jocks, but here we go.

If you could have the real life ability to cast three different 1st-level spells from the 1st Edition AD&D Players Handbook, which three would it be and why?

List of spells Here.
------------------------------------------

Myself:

Charm Person - How to Win Friends and Influence People the easy way.
Find Familiar - Who wouldn't want an animal or magical pal that lends you minor super powers?
Feather Fall - The idea of being able to jump without a chute, and then magically slow yourself for a gentle landing just before hitting the ground, speaks out to the adrenalin junky in me.

 

[Soundmanred]

Do you really think I believe you? I am not that stupid.

I am a expert on spells.

 

[Paladin3]

Do you really think I believe you? I am not that stupid.

I am a expert on spells.

Are you saying this is not the nerdiest thing you will read all week?

EDIT: oh, now I see what you mean...I intended to limit it to 1st-level spells only. OP has been corrected.

 

[Pheran]

This question seems a bit pointless when "Wish" is in the spell mix.

 

[acheron]

I'd go with "dork" over "nerd" in this case.

 

[Paladin3]

This question seems a bit pointless when "Wish" is in the spell mix.

This proves that every writer needs a good editor. I intended to limit it to first level spells only from the first edition. I will fix that now.

Thanks.

 

[Fenixgoon]

i think a lot of ATOT would need enlarge

 

[IronWing]

Charm Person, Burning Hands, and Shocking Grasp. I gonna find me a handful.

Also, a confession. I have never played D&D.

 

[Mixolydian]

I know, I know, threads like this get nerds pushed down stairs by jocks, but here we go.

I'm not a jock, but I still want to push you down the stairs. Nerd.

 

[Pheran]

Interesting how all the attack spells you want in the game are mostly useless in the real world. I'd probably have to go with:

Charm Person
Speak With Animals
Change Self

But this leads to more nerd questions such as: what is the efficacy of Cure Light Wounds in the real world, and what level do these spells operate at (affects the duration of many of them)? Depending on how well CLW works, I might swap out Change Self for that one. I also considered Comprehend Languages, but it sucks that you can't speak them.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

MAGIC MISSILE!!!1

I'm a fail-nerd because I've never played D&D and only know the spells included in the Baldur's Gate game. But I have actually asked myself this general question many times before. I've always wanted a familiar, but...

...he or she must stoke up a brass brazier with charcoal, and when this is burning well, add 100 g.p. worth of incense, herbs (basil, savoury, and catnip for sure), and fat. When these items are burning. the spell caster begins his or her incantation, and it must be continued until the familiar comes or the casting time is finished

Too much work. Enlarge could help me immensely. I could use some Friends too.

EDIT: Unseen Servant sounds pretty damn awesome for being relatively powerless. What is a "turn" approximately equivalent to in real time? If six turns is at least, say, ~15 minutes I think I could go with that, assuming I could cast it at least ~3 times a day. I'd get all the perks of impressing people with my unexplainable coolness, and not have to wipe my own ass in addition.

EDIT #2: Google is telling me 6 seconds per turn. What a rip.

Charm Person, Burning Hands, and Shocking Grasp. I gonna find me a handful.

Also, a confession. I have never played D&D.

Ditch Charm Person for Sleep.

 

[shortylickens]

I've seen lists like this since 1985.

 

[twinrider1]

Speak With Animals -- I've always wondered what they were thinking.
Comprehend Languages --To read ancient texts and know what they really thought instead of what modern people think they meant.
Cure Light Wounds -- The older you get, the slower you heal.

We used to drive down to the Ral Partha plant in Cincinnati. You could get figures a lot cheaper there. Bins and bins full of figures. Always need more orcs.

I still have my AD&D books, including the Monster Manual with Cthulu and Melnibonean mythoi.

 

[Geosurface]

I only played D&D like 2 times back when I was about 15, and I spent most of the time just jacking around making fun of it. Sorry to say. Wish I'd gotten into it, for realz.

Just tell me one thing, would this "Charm Person" last long enough and be powerful enough to use like magical rufies?

Roll a D6

 

[mikeymikec]

I've only played D&D Pool of Radiance on the Amiga. I like the way that one can simply sleep a number of days, out in the wild, and wounds heal.

Mockery aside, I got into the game a fair bit. Not as much as my brother did.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Animal friendship - you know, to uh . . . make friends with animals

Speak with animals - you know, to uh . . . shpeak with animals

And entagle - you know, to uh. . . hold the animals still while I, er. . . . ready my magic mishile.

I keed of course. Beastiality is disgusting, even in a fantasy game played in mom's basement.

 

[soulcougher73]

Predict Weather..be the first and only 100% accurate weather man on TV
Part Water..so i can be biblical and start a cult..err i mean religion
Feather Fall..for reasons the OP mentioned. Can parachute without a parachute

 

[manimal]

conjure m3 spell

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Was "Lighting Bolt!" a choice by chance?

 

[brainhulk]

 

[rivan]

Was "Lighting Bolt!" a choice by chance?

That's third level. Sheesh!

For me,

Charm Person
Comprehend Languages
Unseen Servant

(maybe CLW depending on just how well it worked - it cures cancer? instant bazillionaire)

 

[SlitheryDee]

Haste

Entangle

Enlarge

 

[Krazy4Real]

knights of the round

 

[shortylickens]

knights of the round

GTFO noob.

 

[brainhulk]

knights of the round

that was my favorite move in final fantasy 7