The most well written scene in a movie ever

[Farang]

I vote for Full Metal Jacket.

HARTMAN
I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior
Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!"
Do you maggots understand that?


RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you
got a pair.

RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive
recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you
will be a minister of death, praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the
lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even
human fucking beings! You are nothing but
unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian
shit!

Because I am hard, you will not like me. But
the more you hate me, the more you will
learn. I am hard, but I am fair!
There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on
*****, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you
are all equally worthless! And my
orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack
the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do
you maggots understand that?


RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!



HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't hear you!


RECRUITS

(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!


Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a
black recruit,
Private SNOWBALL.


HARTMAN
What's your
name, scumbag?

SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir,
Private Brown, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! From now on
you're Private
Snowball! Do you like that name?


SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN

Well, there's one thing that you won't like,
Private Snowball! They
don't serve fried
chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in
my
mess hall!

SNOWBALL
Sir, yes, sir!


JOKER

(whispering)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?


HARTMAN

Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's
the slimy
little communist shit twinkle-toed
beautiful being down here, who just
signed his
own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy
fucking
godmother said it! Out-fucking-
standing! I will P.T. you all until
you fucking
die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are
sucking
buttermilk.


Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt.



HARTMAN
Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!


COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
You little piece of
shit! You look like a fucking
worm! I'll bet it was you!


COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!

JOKER
Sir, I said it, sir!


Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.


HARTMAN
Well ...
no shit. What have we got here, a
fucking comedian? Private Joker? I
admire
your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come
over to my
house and fuck my sister.

Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the
stomach.
JOKER sags to his knees.

HARTMAN
You little
scumbag! I've got your name! I've
got your ass! You will not laugh!
You will not
cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will
teach
you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You
had best unfuck yourself or I
will unscrew
your head and shit down your neck!

JOKER

Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Private Joker, why did you join
my beloved
Corps?

JOKER
Sir, to kill, sir!


HARTMAN
So you're a killer!

JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!

JOKER
Sir?


HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a
war face.
Now let me see your war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!


HARTMAN
Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see
your real
war face!

JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!


HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!

JOKER

Sir, yes, sir!

Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face.


HARTMAN
What's your excuse?

COWBOY
Sir, excuse for
what, sir?

HARTMAN
I'm asking the fucking questions
here,
Private. Do you understand?!

COWBOY
Sir,
yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in
charge
for a while?

COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?

COWBOY

Sir, I am, sir!

HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?


COWBOY
Sir!

HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to
call me an
asshole?!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?

COWBOY
Sir,
five foot nine, sir!

HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't
know they stacked shit
that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in
on
me somewhere, huh?

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.


HARTMAN
Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran
down the crack of your mama's ass
and ended up as a brown stain on
the
mattress! I think you've been cheated!

HARTMAN

Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?


COWBOY

Sir, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN
Holy dogshit! Texas! Only
steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you

don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down!
Do you suck dicks!

COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?

COWBOY
Sir, no,
sir!

HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would
fuck
a person in the ass and not even have the
goddam common
courtesy to give him a reach-
around! I'll be watching you!


Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another
recruit, a tall,
overtweight boy.

HARTMAN
Did your parents have any
children that lived?


PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you
could be
a modern art masterpiece! What's
your name, fatbody?


PYLE
Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!

HARTMAN
Lawrence?
Lawrence, what, of Arabia?

PYLE
Sir, no, sir!


HARTMAN
That name sounds like royalty! Are you
royalty?


PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Do you suck dicks?



PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! I'll bet you
could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose!

PYLE

Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
I don't like the name Lawrence!
Only faggots
and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on

you're Gomer Pyle!

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

PYLE has the
trace of a strange smile on his face.

HARTMAN
Do you
think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you
think I'm funny?


PYLE
Sir, no, sir!

HARTMAN
Then wipe that
disgusting grin off your face!

PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!

PYLE

Sir, I'm trying, sir.

HARTMAN
Private Pyle, I'm gonna
give you three
seconds--excactly three fucking seconds--to
wipe
that stupid-looking grin off your face, or
I will gouge out your
eyeballs and skull-fuck
you! One! Two! Three!

PYLE purses his
lips but continues to smile
involuntarily.

PYLE
Sir,
I can't help it, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! Get on your
knees, scumbag!

PYLE gets down on his FEnees.

HARTMAN

Now choke yourself!

PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to

choke himself.

HARTMAN
Goddamn it, with my hand,
numbnuts!!

PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks
it away.


HARTMAN
Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said
choke
yourself! Now lean forward and choke
yourself!

PYLE leans forward
so that his neck rests in
HARTMAN's open hand.

HARTMAN chokes PYLE.


PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.

HARTMAN

Are you through grinning?

PYLE
(barely able to
speak)
Sir, yes, sir!

HARTMAN
Bullshit! I can't
hear you!

PYLE
(gasping)
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike
you got
a pair!

PYLE
(gagging)
Sir, yes, sir!


HARTMAN
That's enough! Get on your feet!

HARTMAN releases PYLE's
throat. PYLE gets to his feet,
breathing heavily.

HARTMAN

Private Pyle, you had best square your ass
away and start shitting
me Tiffany cuff links
... or I will definitely fuck you up!


PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!

 

[destrekor]

:heart:

if only it was still like how it was portrayed in FMJ, and had been back in the day.

 

[Savij]

From IMDB:
"Much, if not all, of R. Lee Ermey's dialogue during the Parris Island sequence was improvised. While filming the opening scene, where he disciplines Pvt. Cowboy, he says Cowboy is the type of guy who would have sex with another guy "and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach-around". Stanley Kubrick immediately yelled cut and went over to Ermey' and asked, "What the hell is a reach-around?" Ermey politely explained what it meant. Kubrick laughed and re-shot the scene, telling Ermey to keep the line."

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: Savij
From IMDB:
"Much, if not all, of R. Lee Ermey's dialogue during the Parris Island sequence was improvised. While filming the opening scene, where he disciplines Pvt. Cowboy, he says Cowboy is the type of guy who would have sex with another guy "and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach-around". Stanley Kubrick immediately yelled cut and went over to Ermey' and asked, "What the hell is a reach-around?" Ermey politely explained what it meant. Kubrick laughed and re-shot the scene, telling Ermey to keep the line."

Wow, I thought for sure it was written because it is just gold. Thank God for giving us R. Lee Ermey.

 

[Saint Michael]

I've heard nowadays drill sergeants aren't allowed to physically reprimand recruits anymore... I wonder if our army, like our schools, is getting worse as the technology advances.

 

[BradT]

I love that scene.

 

[daniel1113]

For the non-reading types.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: Farang

Originally posted by: Savij
From IMDB:
"Much, if not all, of R. Lee Ermey's dialogue during the Parris Island sequence was improvised. While filming the opening scene, where he disciplines Pvt. Cowboy, he says Cowboy is the type of guy who would have sex with another guy "and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach-around". Stanley Kubrick immediately yelled cut and went over to Ermey' and asked, "What the hell is a reach-around?" Ermey politely explained what it meant. Kubrick laughed and re-shot the scene, telling Ermey to keep the line."

Wow, I thought for sure it was written because it is just gold. Thank God for giving us R. Lee Ermey.

The man has a talent.
Also from IMDB:

Former US Marine Corps Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey was not originally hired to play Gunnery Sgt. Hartman but as a consultant for the Marine Corps boot camp portion of the film. He performed a demonstration on videotape in which he yelled obscene insults and abuse for 15 minutes without stopping, repeating himself or even flinching - despite being continuously pelted with tennis balls and oranges. Stanley Kubrick was so impressed that he cast Ermey as Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann.

 

[V00DOO]

Originally posted by: BradT
I love that scene.

Me too. I have watched FMJ 20 times and everything I stop after Pyle shot himself.

 

[BooGiMaN]

recently there were a few scenes in No Country for Old men that i thought where very good, maybe it was just the delivery by the guy playing anton chigurh

one scene is the one where he is talking to the gas station owner and he tells him to pick heads or tails on a coin flip:

 

[JEDI]

The most well written scene in a movie ever:

harry potter: chamber of secrets

duh

 

[Kadarin]

R. Lee Ermey rocks... He's also great in Mail Call on the History Channel.

 

[LS21]

pick any scene from pulp fiction, or big lebowski

 

[MisterJackson]

Hands down, number 1 in my book:

Coccotti: You know who I am, Mr. Worley?

Clifford: I got no idea.

Coccotti: I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti. I work as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I can assume you've heard of us before. Am I correct?

Clifford: I heard of Blue Lou Boyle.

Coccotti: I'm glad. Hopefully it means we can cut out the part of the conversation where you're wondering how full of shit I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: I haven't seen Clarence.

Coccotti: You see that? [Holding a clenched fist, then striking Clifford] That smarts, doesn't it? Getting slammed in the nose. Fucks you all up. You get that pain shootin' through your brain, your eyes fill up with water. That ain't any kind of fun, but what I have to offer you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it won't ever get that good again. We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Cadillac. Purple Cadillac. Clarence's purple Cadillac, parked in front of your trailer yesterday. Mr. Worley, you seen your son?

Clifford: Now, wait a minute and listen. I haven't seen Clarence in three years. Yesterday he shows up here with a girl, sayin' he got married. He told me he needed some quick cash for a honeymoon, so he asked if he could borrow five hundred dollars. I wanted to help him out so I wrote out a check. We went to breakfast and that's the last I saw of him. So help me God. They never thought to tell me where they were goin'. And I never thought to ask.

Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen. And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from.

Clifford: Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?

Coccotti: Sure.

Clifford: Got a match? Oh, don't bother. I got one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coccotti: ...your son, the cowboy, it's claimed, came in the room blazin', and didn't stop 'till they were pretty sure everybody was dead.

Clifford: What are you talkin' about?

Coccotti: Talkin' about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics, hightailed it outta there. Woulda got away with it, but your son, fuckhead that he is, left his driver's license in a dead guy's hand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: You know, I don't believe you.

Coccotti: That's of minor importance. What is of major fucking importance is that I believe you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: You're Sicilian, huh?

Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.

Clifford: You know, I read a lot. Especially about things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact, I don't know if you know or not, Sicilians were spawned by nagas (thank you ATOT filter :roll.

Coccotti: Come again?

Clifford: It's a fact. You see, Sicilians have black blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you see, the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are nagas.

Coccotti: Yes...

Clifford: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that naga gene. Now this...

[Coccotti laughs]

Clifford: No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.

Coccotti: [laughing] I love this guy.

Clifford: Your ancestors are naga. Uh-huh. Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a naga, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-naga kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.

Coccotti: Ohhh!

Clifford: Huh? Hey! Hey! Hey!

Coccotti: You're a cantaloupe. [shoots Cliff in the face]

 

[Auric]

Originally posted by: Savij
From IMDB:
"Much, if not all, of R. Lee Ermey's dialogue during the Parris Island sequence was improvised. While filming the opening scene, where he disciplines Pvt. Cowboy, he says Cowboy is the type of guy who would have sex with another guy "and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach-around". Stanley Kubrick immediately yelled cut and went over to Ermey' and asked, "What the hell is a reach-around?" Ermey politely explained what it meant. Kubrick laughed and re-shot the scene, telling Ermey to keep the line."

Nutty. My inclination would be to let the man run with it and ask later rather than cut.

 

[adairusmc]

Originally posted by: Saint Michael
I've heard nowadays drill sergeants aren't allowed to physically reprimand recruits anymore... I wonder if our army, like our schools, is getting worse as the technology advances.

:laugh:


You heard wrong.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: daniel1113
For the non-reading types.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=t8Nf1MK7lts

Full version, plus some at the end.

 

[Iron Woode]

there are lots of well written scenes:

Casablanca:

Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.
Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...
Rick: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?
Captain Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.
Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.
Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

 

[Connoisseur]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Hands down, number 1 in my book:

Coccotti: You know who I am, Mr. Worley?

Clifford: I got no idea.

Coccotti: I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti. I work as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I can assume you've heard of us before. Am I correct?

Clifford: I heard of Blue Lou Boyle.

Coccotti: I'm glad. Hopefully it means we can cut out the part of the conversation where you're wondering how full of shit I am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: I haven't seen Clarence.

Coccotti: You see that? [Holding a clenched fist, then striking Clifford] That smarts, doesn't it? Getting slammed in the nose. Fucks you all up. You get that pain shootin' through your brain, your eyes fill up with water. That ain't any kind of fun, but what I have to offer you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it won't ever get that good again. We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Cadillac. Purple Cadillac. Clarence's purple Cadillac, parked in front of your trailer yesterday. Mr. Worley, you seen your son?

Clifford: Now, wait a minute and listen. I haven't seen Clarence in three years. Yesterday he shows up here with a girl, sayin' he got married. He told me he needed some quick cash for a honeymoon, so he asked if he could borrow five hundred dollars. I wanted to help him out so I wrote out a check. We went to breakfast and that's the last I saw of him. So help me God. They never thought to tell me where they were goin'. And I never thought to ask.

Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen. And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from.

Clifford: Could I have one of those Chesterfields now?

Coccotti: Sure.

Clifford: Got a match? Oh, don't bother. I got one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coccotti: ...your son, the cowboy, it's claimed, came in the room blazin', and didn't stop 'till they were pretty sure everybody was dead.

Clifford: What are you talkin' about?

Coccotti: Talkin' about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics, hightailed it outta there. Woulda got away with it, but your son, fuckhead that he is, left his driver's license in a dead guy's hand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: You know, I don't believe you.

Coccotti: That's of minor importance. What is of major fucking importance is that I believe you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clifford: You're Sicilian, huh?

Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.

Clifford: You know, I read a lot. Especially about things that have to do with history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact, I don't know if you know or not, Sicilians were spawned by nagas (thank you ATOT filter :roll.

Coccotti: Come again?

Clifford: It's a fact. You see, Sicilians have black blood pumpin' through their hearts. If you don't believe me, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you see, the Moors conquered Sicily. And Moors are nagas.

Coccotti: Yes...

Clifford: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that naga gene. Now this...

[Coccotti laughs]

Clifford: No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.

Coccotti: [laughing] I love this guy.

Clifford: Your ancestors are naga. Uh-huh. Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a naga, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-naga kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.

Coccotti: Ohhh!

Clifford: Huh? Hey! Hey! Hey!

Coccotti: You're a cantaloupe. [shoots Cliff in the face]

Heh best romance movie EVER. The girl i'm dating loves it and that's an incredible turn-on.

 

[pontifex]

only on atot would deragotory insults and vulgarity be the most well written stuff in a movie.

 

[legoman666]

Originally posted by: pontifex
only on atot would deragotory insults and vulgarity be the most well written stuff in a movie.

yes, clearly vulgarity = instant bad scene.

god damned puritan.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: legoman666

Originally posted by: pontifex
only on atot would deragotory insults and vulgarity be the most well written stuff in a movie.

yes, clearly vulgarity = instant bad scene.

god damned puritan.

lol. quote where i said it was a bad scene. also show me some kind of proof that i'm a god damned puritan...


you obviously didn't get the joke...

 

[oogabooga]

Originally posted by: pontifex
only on atot would deragotory insults and vulgarity be the most well written stuff in a movie.

I don't know if I'd say that scene is the most well written ever, but I believe it was very well written and executed.

Out of curiosity what would you consider better suited at "being the most well written stuff in a movie"?


edit : ehh apparently i didn't get it either.

 

[z0mb13]

ummm what exactly is a reach around??

 

[Farang]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
ummm what exactly is a reach around??

During anal sexual intercourse, the person inserting their penis into another person's anus wraps their arm around, or gives a "reach around," the other person in order to fondle that person's genitals.